Thirty Sword Katas
by callosum
Summary: 30 ficlets featuring our favourite green-haired swordsman Zoro! #28 War: The battle to rescue Zoro from the hands of the Marines begins. Third of a five-parter.
1. The Ugly Duckling, Theme: Swan, T

**Title: **The Ugly Duckling

**Theme: **Set #3 - Swan  
**Claim: **Zoro  
**Words: **1407  
**Rating: **T for...  
******Warnings: **...one swear word.  
**Disclaimers: **I don't own One Piece.  
**Acknowledgments: **Thanks to ZeldaAddict42 for beta-ing this, and dandy wonderous for the animal suggestion! And thanks also to pikinanou for the lovely fanart! pikinanou .deviantart #/d2tj7w5 [remove the spaces]

* * *

It was one of those hot, muggy days on the Grand Line, when the sails hung limp from the yardarms, and the Thousand Sunny sat so still and heavy in the water you could close your eyes and imagine you were on dry land. For most of the Strawhats, it was a chance to catch up on their work, free from the demands of manning the ship or fighting the Marines. But for the cook, such days inevitably meant one thing - that he was going to be bothered at every turn by the youngest members of the crew.

"Saaaaanjiiiii, tell us a story," Luffy begged for the tenth time. At least it wasn't a plea for more meat.

Sanji made an impatient noise and batted Luffy's hand away from the sherbets he'd been slaving over for the past hour. "I'm trying to fix some afternoon refreshments for Nami-san and Robin-chan. If you want a story, why don't you get Usopp to tell you one?"

"Franky has Usopp helping him fix up one of the cannons down in his workshop," Chopper explained. Sanji glanced at the little reindeer to see how he was taking this heat. Chopper had his hat off and a bandanna tied around his head, and Sanji suppressed a grin at the reindeer's somewhat comical appearance.

"Then what about Zoro? I'm sure the shitty marimo can manage a simple story."

"We already asked him, and he said to go bother ___you_," Chopper said earnestly.

"And why are you listening to him instead of me?"

"Zoro's scarier."

Sanji sighed, unable to resist two pairs of pleading eyes. "Fine. I'll just deliver these to Nami-san and Robin-chan, and then you can have your story."

"Yay!" The excited pair trotted faithfully behind Sanji as he offered the desserts to Nami and Robin, then they adjourned to a shady spot on the lawn deck. Sanji cast an annoyed glance at Zoro, sound asleep just a short distance away. Like Chopper, Zoro had tied his bandanna around his head to combat the heat. Unlike Chopper, however, the effect was to make his shadowed, furrowed brow look all the more menacing. No wonder Chopper had complained Zoro was scary. Not that Sanji ever found Zoro intimidating, of course. No, never.

Sanji settled down on the deck, making sure the swordsman was within earshot, and Luffy and Chopper plopped themselves down next to him, talking excitedly.

"So what's the story gonna be about, Sanji?"

"It's about...hmm. It's about the ugly duckling," Sanji decided.

"The ugly duckling? Cool! I've never heard this one!"

Sanji cleared his throat, and began:

"Once upon a time, there was a mother duck who laid a bunch of eggs. One day six of her eggs hatched and out popped six pretty little ducklings, but there was still one more egg that hadn't hatched yet. The mother duck sighed and said, 'oh dear, this is going to be one developmentally retarded little duckling.' True enough, when the egg hatched, it was a little duckling covered with green fuzz, and it was a damn sight uglier than all its pretty little brothers and sisters."

"You mean the duckling didn't look like the rest of the herd?" Chopper asked, wide-eyed.

"Flock, but yeah."

"And...did all his brothers and sisters look down on him?" Chopper asked in a small voice, and Sanji suddenly realised that Chopper might interpret this story a bit too personally.

"Yeah, they did. But the ugly duckling didn't care, 'cause he was an anti-social bastard who slept all the time anyway," Sanji explained, "and besides, there was only one thing the duckling did care about - his dream."

"What was that, Sanji?" Luffy asked.

"He wanted to become the strongest duck in the world."

"Awesome!"

"So after a while, the ugly duckling decided to leave the flock and look for Miduck, the strongest duck in the world, and challenge him to a duel. But because the ugly duckling didn't have much of a brain (as the mother duck predicted), he wandered around for years without finding Miduck."

There was an explosion from behind them, which could have been a snort from Zoro, but which they decided to interpret as a snore.

"Along the way, he would challenge other ducks to prove his strength. Sometimes they would refuse, because they were terrified of the duckling's bizarre green down. When one of them was stupid enough to accept, the ugly duckling would beat them to a pulp, because he did have some measure of brute strength. And after a while the ugly duckling came to be known as the demon duckling, because he was so feared by everyone.

"Finally, Miduck and the ugly duckling crossed paths one day. The ugly duckling immediately challenged Miduck to a duel, even though Miduck was known to be the strongest duck in the world, because he was a reckless idiot."

"Did he win? Did he win?" Luffy pressed eagerly.

"Nope, he lost. Miduck was just too strong for him. The ugly duckling was defeated and was heavily injured."

"Awwwwwwww man! But he didn't give up, right? He stuck to his dream, didn't he?" Luffy questioned.

"No, he didn't give up. He decided he would get even stronger and he'd find Miduck again someday and defeat him then."

"Yay, I'm glad!" Luffy sighed in relief. "Hmm? Why d'you look so sad, Chopper? The ugly duckling didn't give up on his dream, so that's good, right?"

"But he was always alone, wasn't he? Everyone thought he was a monster," Chopper said sadly. The tears were beginning to pool in his eyes, and Sanji knew he had to fix the situation fast.

"Of course he wasn't always alone," Sanji said comfortingly. "Sure, the other ducks were scared of him, but one day he met a little monkey who wasn't afraid of anything, even demon ducks. In fact, this monkey was so brave, he was determined to become the Monkey King, and he invited the ugly duckling to be his nakama."

"Hooray for the monkey!" Luffy and Chopper cheered.

"And as they travelled, they found more nakama - a beautiful songbird who was a great navigator, which was good because both the monkey and the duckling were morons when it came to directions, an...er...aardvark, a..."

"Slobbering dog," Zoro supplied. Apparently he'd been listening all along, even if his slow, even breathing said otherwise.

"A ___panther_," Sanji continued, blithely ignoring the interruption, "A reindeer, a beautiful bird of paradise..."

"Even a reindeer?" Chopper's eyes sparkled.

"Umhmm. Even though the duckling was ugly, lazy, and bad-tempered, his nakama put up with him, because that's what nakama do."

"So what happened to the ugly duckling in the end, Sanji?"

"As far as I know, he's still voyaging around the ocean with his nakama and training up to beat Miduck."

"D'you think we'll ever meet the ugly duckling someday?" Luffy asked excitedly.

"Yeah, you might, if you're good and don't bother me for the rest of the day," Sanji replied non-committally,knowing that the world would probably end before that actually happened.

"That was a good story," Chopper sighed in satisfaction. "Don't you think so, Nami, Robin?"

Sanji looked up, realising that he'd gathered quite an audience.

"Nami-swaaaaan! Robin-chwaaaaaan! Did you enjoy the story?"

"Yes, Sanji-kun, it was a very good story," Nami said, smiling, "but didn't you forget the most important part of 'The Ugly Duckling'?"

"What part is that, Nami-san?"

"The part where the duckling looks at his reflection in the water and realises he's grown into a beautiful white swan?"

"Oh, no, Nami-san, you see, cygnets are grey," Sanji explained. "This was just a mutant, ugly, green duck."

"I'm going to fucking KILL you, you shitty eyebrow!"

Much to Zoro's chagrin, Sanji's version of "The Ugly Duckling" quickly became Luffy and Chopper's favourite story. Not a week went by without them begging him to tell it again, asking him to expand on how the monkey and duckling joined forces, and how the rest of their nakama (especially the reindeer) joined their group. Why every rendition of this terrific story was followed by a fierce fight between Zoro and Sanji, neither of them ever knew.

* * *

**A/N:** Poor Zoro. Funny thing is, Sanji's the one that's supposed to be a duck. Coincidence? That's up to you to decide. *waggles eyebrows*

Let me know what you think!


	2. Mind Reader, Theme: Den Den Mushi, K

******Title:**Mind Reader  
******Theme:**Set #3 - Den Den Mushi  
******Claim:**Zoro  
******Words:**1027  
******Rating:**K  
******Disclaimers: **If I owned One Piece, I would know how Den Den Mushi work. It's obvious from this fic I have no idea how they work. Ergo, I do not own One Piece. QED.  
******Acknowledgments:**Thanks to ZeldaAddict42 for beta-ing this! Also, inspired by a pic by Syb. [pics. livejournal. com /sybile /pic /000565d5]

* * *

___Bur-lep bur-lep bur-lep._

____

Bur-lep bur-lep bur-lep.

___Bur-lep bur-lep bur-lep.  
_  
Zoro opened his eyes blearily. What the ___hell _was that noise?

"Your Den Den Mushi is ringing, Swordsman-san."

"I know that, dammit," Zoro muttered. He didn't like to be woken up from a nap for any reason, and of all possible reasons, a Den Den Mushi ranked pretty near the bottom of his list. Why Nami had bought them each a Baby Den Den was beyond him.

Okay, so he did know the precise reason. Nami had definitely not been pleased when he turned up at the ship the day ___after_going out on a "short walk", though he suspected it was more out of a general desire to be able to stay in contact with their nakama even when they were separated. The episode with Kuma had traumatised them all, even if Zoro would never admit it, and they were all a tiny bit more clingy and more protective of their nakama than they once were. Not that Nami would ever admit to this being the reason, either. Pinning the blame on Zoro meant that she could charge them all to his tab.

___Bur-lep bur-lep bur-lep. Bur-LEP bur-LEP bur-LEP._The Den Den Mushi flapped its lips at Zoro insistently.

"Fine, fine, I'm picking up already," he grumbled. "Hello? What d'you want?"

"Oh, Zoro. You took your time answering. Listen, can you ask Nami-san and Robin-chan whether they would like strawberry parfait for dessert?" the Den Den said in a close approximation of Sanji's voice.

"What the hell? You woke me up for THAT? Why couldn't you ring them instead?" Zoro demanded.

"Because I wanted to hear your sweet dulcet tones." Zoro could practically see the sarcasm oozing out of the Den Den Mushi's eyes, and he was disturbed to see its right eyebrow coiling into a familiar spiral. "Of COURSE I'd have rung them if I could, but I couldn't reach their Den Den Mushi, idiot marimo!"

Grumbling under his breath, Zoro turned to Robin. "You heard that?"

"Yes, and I can answer on Nami-chan's behalf. Strawberry parfait would be most acceptable."

"You heard that, shit cook?"

"Hai, Robin-chan! I will make the most perfect str-"

Zoro turned off the Den Den with a venomous ___click _when hearts began to pop out of the Den Den Mushi's right eye, and it immediately returned to its normal snoozing state. "Annoying bastard, isn't he?" Zoro groused. The Den Den Mushi opened its eyes and gave him a doleful nod. "Heh, even you think so, huh? Looks like we'll get along just fine." Especially since they both seemed fond of long naps.

"Communing with your Den Den Mushi, Swordsman-san? How sweet."

Zoro turned beet red at Robin's comment. "So...how do these things work, anyway?" he asked loudly, to cover his confusion. Fortunately, Robin was always ready with an erudite explanation and willing to communicate it.

"From what I've read, Den Den Mushi communicate with each other using brain waves. The Den Den Mushi translate the words and emotions of the speaker into thought form and transmit them through the ether to other Den Den Mushi."

"So...it's kind of like telepathy?" Zoro shot the Den Den Mushi a suspicious glare.

"I suppose so. Do ___you_believe in telepathy, Swordsman-san?"

"No," Zoro answered shortly. He looked thoughtfully at his Baby Den Den. It must be annoying, being a Den Den Mushi and constantly being exposed to your nakama's thoughts, he mused commiseratingly. He'd go crazy if he had to listen to the shit cook's drooling over women all the time. Or Luffy's drooling over meat, for that matter. Or Nami's drooling over money. As for what Franky was thinking whenever he went into one of his interpretive dances, he was rather afraid to find out.

His gaze shifted up to Robin, and he reflected that maybe there were ___some _perks to being a Den Den Mushi. He'd never been able to figure out the mysterious woman's thought processes. Sure, he trusted her now, but he'd feel a lot more comfortable around her if he only knew what she was thinking...

"But then I'd be able to discern what you are thinking too, Swordsman-san."

That was true. He definitely wouldn't want everyone to know all his secrets, the innermost thoughts that he kept private from the world, even his closest nakama. Being reincarnated as a Den Den Mushi would be the worst thing on earth, he decided, not that he believed in reincarnation...wait, did Robin just ___read his mind_?

"I thought you didn't believe in telepathy, Swordsman-san," Robin said, an all-too-knowing smile on her face at the horrified look on Zoro's.

_Damn woman must've been a Den Den Mushi in a past life_. "Now hang on, just how -" he began, when he was interrupted by a familiar sound.

___Bur-lep bur-lep bur-lep.__  
_  
Zoro made an annoyed "tch" and clicked the Den Den Mushi on. "What the hell is it NOW?" he barked.

"Z-z-zoro?"

"Oh, it's you, Chopper," Zoro said, more calmly. "What is it?"

"I had a question for Robin, actually. Does she have already have a copy of..."

"If you had a question for her, why didn't you just CALL her?" Zoro yelled in annoyance.

The Den Den Mushi's eyes were wide and watering as it quavered Chopper's reply: "Sorry, Zoro, but I couldn't reach her!"

"Why the hell NOT?"

"What _is_ Zoro shouting about over there? He's so noisy," Nami complained, coming up to Robin.

Robin looked towards Zoro contemplatively. "Perhaps we should tell him how to put the Den Den Mushi into silent mode?"

Nami shrugged, a wicked grin spreading across her face. "Nah." Not as long as she could get away with employing him as an unpaid Den Den Mushi operator, anyway.

**

* * *

A/N:** Why does everyone keep taking advantage of Zoro in my fics? Poor defenceless dear :-) *has head sliced off by Zoro for calling him that*

One interesting thing about this prompt was how many different ways people had of spelling the sound effect the Den Den Mushi made! I did "bur-lep", someone else did "ba-dap", a third did "bee-rup". When I looked (finally) at a raw, it was just "pu-ru-ru-ru". What? It did _not_ sound like that in the anime!

Another interesting factoid: Den Den Mushi may be based on this 19th century scam in which two French occultists developed a "snail telegraph" and got a lot of gullible people to invest in it. The principle behind it was that when two snails mate, they would form a telepathic bond. You would have 24 pairs mate (one for each letter of the alphabet minus Q and X, presumably), and separate them, gluing one of each pair to a board. One board went to New York, the other stayed in Paris, and the idea was that if you wiggled the antennae on one, its mate would wiggle as well. Needless to say, it didn't work. You can read more about it if you search for the "Pasilalinic-sympathetic compass".

Anyway, I'll stop my blabbing here. As always, do let me know what you think!


	3. Sixth Sense, Theme: Illusion, K plus

******Title: **Sixth Sense  
******Theme: **Set #3 - Illusion  
******Claim: **Zoro  
******Words****:** 2120  
******Rating: **K+  
******Disclaimers: **I don't own One Piece.  
******Acknowledgments:**Thanks again to ZeldaAddict42 for beta-ing!

* * *

Zoro stared perplexedly at the door in front of him, contemplating the giant number "2" painted on it. "I guess this could be a bathroom..." He opened the door and peered inside. Wrong again. This new ship was great and all, but Franky could have built it smaller, Zoro groused. Or with better signage.

He was about to turn and leave when his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he saw a very familiar ship - technically more a boat, he supposed - in the centre of the room. He crossed over to it, curiosity replacing irritation.

It was evidently still a work in progress, judging by the tools lying around, but it was already obvious what ship this boat was patterned after. Zoro laid a hand on the figurehead, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

He stiffened and his hand flew to the hilts of his swords as an otherworldly presence shimmered into existence behind him. Then he relaxed as he recognised the aura, and the half-smile became a full one. "Kuina." His mind did a double-take when he turned around, as he did whenever he saw her. She looked older, stronger, since the last time they'd talked, after Mihawk. He'd once asked how she kept on growing even though she was, well, dead. She'd scolded him for being so insensitive and had never really answered, but he figured it must be her desperation to keep up with him even in death.

Then he noticed the figure hiding behind her, clad in a yellow sou'wester, peering fearfully at him. "Who the hell are you?"

Kuina rolled her eyes. "Charming as ever, Zoro." Then she said, a little more gently, "There's no need to be afraid, Merry. You know Zoro." She gave the figure a push, and the ghost stepped out into the open, its features less distinct than Kuina's, with a broad mouth and wide-set eyes, two round saucers fixed on the swordsman.

Zoro gaped. "Merry?" He looked at the craft behind him, with its familiar sheep's head, and back at the glowing figure. "Going Merry, Merry?"

"Yes, it's me," Merry answered, his voice instantly recognisable from Enies Lobby, calling for them to return together to the sea of adventure, and from when the Strawhats had watched their beloved ship catch flame and sink to the ocean floor, whispering that it had been happy.

"You're the spirit of this boat?"

Merry shook his head. "No, it will have its own klabautermann, when it's finished. I'm just a ghost."

"Klabauter-what?"

"Just as you said, a klabautermann is the spirit of a ship. Sunny has one too."

"Really? Where?" Zoro glanced around, as if half-expecting a lion to pop out of nowhere.

"You can't see him. The only time a klabautermann shows itself to its crew is when its ship is doomed to destruction," Merry explained, his voice still a little hesitant.

"Oh." In that case Zoro certainly ___didn't_want to see Sunny's klabautermann. "Did you come to talk to Usopp then?" Kuina had once said it cost a lot to make herself visible to Zoro, and whatever currency they used in the next world, it seemed unlikely that Merry would spend it on visiting just ___him_.

At the mention of Usopp, Merry's brow furrowed, a hard look coming into his eyes. "No. I came to talk to you." Zoro's surprise at the angry tone in the child-like voice was compounded by the sight of Merry swinging his caulk hammer at Zoro's kneecaps - and it would have hurt like hell, too, if the hammer had actually belonged to this world.

"You can't do it like that, Merry," Kuina said, her voice authoritative and just a touch bemused, stepping forward towards Zoro, who eyed her somewhat suspiciously. "Watch carefully." She raised a leg and kneed Zoro in the groin. Zoro instinctively flinched away from the phantom attack, his foot catching on the box of tools, falling backwards, his head colliding with the wall.

"Kuina! That's dirty!" he protested, picking himself up awkwardly, rubbing the lump on his head, as his childhood rival grinned at him impishly. "Don't teach him that kind of thing!" The last thing he needed was random ghosts popping up and attacking his crotch without reason. Or with reason, for that matter. He looked at Merry, who was showing a full set of teeth as he giggled at the swordsman's predicament, reminding Zoro somehow of Luffy. Merry must've picked up some of Luffy's mannerisms, what with all the time Luffy had spent draped over the prow. "What was that for, anyway?" he demanded.

"For Usopp. He's depressed, you know. I can feel it. And it's all your fault!"

"How can he be depressed? He's back on the crew," Zoro objected.

"Everyone did something to welcome him back. Everyone went up to him and said something nice. Everyone except you."

"Why should I need to say something? It's over. He and Luffy fought, he lost, he left the crew, he apologised, Luffy accepted his apology, he's back on the crew." Simple. Straightforward. No discussion required.

"Men," Kuina said in a disgusted voice.

"WHAT?"

"Usopp still thinks you're mad at him. Especially since he heard about what you said about him having to apologise before coming back to the crew."

"Yeah, and he apologised, so everything's fine. I wouldn't have let him onto the ship otherwise." Zoro's eyes narrowed. "How do you two know all about this anyway? And how does Usopp know what I said?"

Kuina and Merry exchanged guilty looks, but from Kuina's expression, Zoro knew he wouldn't be getting any answers from them. Maybe using Wado Ichimonji to make his point back then had been a bad idea.

He sighed. "Is Usopp really that upset?"

Merry nodded vigorously.

Waste of time it might be, but a distracted sniper was an inaccurate sniper. "Fine. I'll talk to him," Zoro promised.

"Really?" Merry asked hopefully.

"Zoro knows how to keep a promise," Kuina said. She glanced at a contraption on her wrist, which looked rather similar to the Log Pose Nami kept strapped to hers. "We have to go, Merry, our time's almost up."

"Just one more thing, Kuina," Merry said pleadingly, before looking back at Zoro and asking, "Why didn't you cry?"

Zoro was confused. "Cry? Why would I wanna cry?"

"When I died," Merry clarified. "Everybody cried except you. Even Robin cried."

"What, the shit cook too?"

"Yeah, he cried too." Hmm. Shit cook was a bigger softie than he looked. "Did you...not care?"

"I just don't cry, that's all," Zoro said stiffly.

"Liar," Kuina declared, her voice tinged with amusement. "Don't believe him, Merry. He cried like anything when I died." Zoro shot her an unamused frown. It was good to know that she could actually make light of her own tragedy now, but he had personally never forgiven her for falling down the stairs that one night.

That only made Merry's head droop further. "So you really didn't feel sad to say goodbye? You don't miss me at all?" he said in a small voice.

Kuina was grinning as she watched the scene, her arms crossed as she watched Zoro fumble for words to comfort Merry without coming off too soppy. Finally he answered, "I didn't cry, because you died like a man. There's no need to shed tears when a man's died with honour. And..." Zoro hesitated a moment, before finally setting his dignity aside, praying that Kuina wouldn't laugh. "I do miss you, because you're one of our nakama."

Merry's whole body was shaking now, and Zoro wondered whether he'd said the wrong thing. He'd never been much good with words. But when Merry looked up Zoro could see the glad tears in his eyes and the trembling of his lower lip, now reminding him instead of Usopp. No wonder they'd gotten along so well.

"I miss you too, Zoro!" Merry launched himself at the horrified swordsman, who automatically stepped back and away from the embrace, only to collide with the boat and then have the wind knocked out of him by the klabautermann himself.

"What the hell?" Zoro asked, his voice muffled by Merry's suddenly very solid embrace.

Kuina looked just as surprised as he did. "I didn't think this boat contained enough of Merry's soul for that to happen." Zoro felt Wado slide out of his haramaki, and he recalled the first time he'd felt his katana - he still thought of it then as ___her _katana - jump suddenly from his hands, months after Kuina's death. Then he felt the wetness spreading across his shirt and realised that Merry was still sobbing tears into his chest. "Oi, Merry. Enough, now," he said gruffly.

Merry got up, rubbing the tears from his eyes, a wide smile plastered on his face despite them. Zoro sat up too, only to come throat to blade with Wado Ichimonji, Kuina in a familiar stance behind it. "Dammit, woman, don't do that to me," he grumbled.

Kuina laughed and returned Wado to its sheath and held it out to Zoro. "Just remembering old times. Remember, Zoro...when you've beaten Mihawk, we have a date."

"Yeah, I remember. You'd better be training hard."

"Of course I am," she retorted, that familiar superior smirk on her face. "You'd better be mentally prepared for your 2002nd defeat."

"Yeah, right. I'm not gonna go easy on you," Zoro growled, competitive as ever, even against a ghost.

Kuina took another reluctant glance at the Pose. "Merry, we've really got to go. Say goodbye to Zoro."

"Okay!" Merry chirped. "Bye, Zoro! We'll come again! Don't torture Sunny with your weights like you tortured me! And remember to talk to Usopp!"

"Yeah, yeah. Get going, chibi," Zoro said, exchanging a last glance with Kuina as she and Merry faded into non-existence, leaving him feeling curiously bereft, almost as if he had just woken up from a dream. He tucked Wado Ichimonji into his haramaki once more, smiling a little when he realised Kuina had forgotten to complain about germs this time.

Then the door opened, and Zoro looked around to see their new shipwright enter. "Oh, it's you, Zoro-bro!" He pushed up his sunglasses with one finger and glanced around. "I thought I heard voices in here."

"Really?" Zoro asked noncommittally.

"I guess it was just my imagination," Franky shrugged. "Oh, I see you've found the Mini Merry II!"

"Yeah. You did a good job with it," Zoro acknowledged. "You really managed to...capture the spirit of the ship."

"Ow! It was no problem! I was feeling particularly inspired this week!" Franky flashed his standard pose, and Zoro rolled his eyes. He was gradually getting used to the cyborg's antics. Franky clapped a hand on the swordsman's shoulder and said confidentially, "By the way, Zoro-bro, I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention Mini Merry to the others until it's finished. It's gonna be a surprise, you see."

"Sure," Zoro agreed readily. "I can keep a secret."

"Yeah, I bet you can," Franky said, giving a sideways glance at the taciturn swordsman. "Anyway, what were you doing down here? Looking for the bathroom again? If you are, we don't actually have one on this level."

"I was looking for Usopp, actually," Zoro prevaricated, with as much dignity as he could muster.

A huge grin broke out on Franky's face. "Oh, you're gonna talk to him at last? Well, you got pretty close this time. Usopp-bro's workshop is right over there." He jerked an enormous thumb towards the stern.

"Thanks, Franky."

Zoro crossed over to the door marked "Usopp's Main Factory" and knocked.

"My hands are full, so come on in!" Usopp shouted. "Oh! Er...Z-z-zoro! Did you want s-s-something?" Zoro was startled to see the fear in Usopp's eyes. Merry was right, he should have said something earlier.

"Yeah. We need to talk."

Franky quietly shut the door on the pair as Zoro sat down by Usopp, one hand on the younger man's shoulder, Usopp's eyes growing as wide as Merry's at the gesture.

On the other side of the door, Franky bawled manly tears at the wonders of nakamaship.

* * *

**A/N:** Not the sort of fic I usually write (other than the obligatory fluffiness) but that's kinda the point of 30 Pieces, isn't it? Reviews and concrit are greatly welcome.


	4. The perils of group laundry, Weather, K

**Title: **The perils of group laundry  
**Theme: **Set #3 - Weather  
**Claim: **Zoro  
**Words: **1352  
**Rating: **K  
**Warnings: **Based on a filler episode.  
**Disclaimers: **I don't own One Piece.  
**Acknowledgments: **Thanks, ZeldaAddict42, for beta-ing this! You're awesome! :-D

* * *

It had been several miserable days of torrential rain, and as the Thousand Sunny breached the boundary of the storm, the Strawhats greeted the reappearance of the sun with a loud cheer. The girls immediately took advantage of the lovely dry heat, hauling out their clothes and bedding to recover from a week of moisture that defied even the ship's excellent water-sealing.

"Nami-swaaan, Robin-chwaaan, may I be permitted to assist you?" Sanji crooned, only to be shooed away by the navigator.

"No. And no, Brook, you can't have a look at our underwear! Go away!" Nami paused, sniffing the air, and her face wrinkled in disgust. "You boys ___stink_!"

"We can't stink, this whole week's been like one long shower," Luffy said defensively, instinctively knowing what station Nami's train of thought would end up at.

Nami marched over to the boys' room and threw the door open, almost fainting at the stench of dampness that emerged. "Your room stinks too! You lot had better air out your own things before they start growing mould!"

"But, Nami, we want to play!" Luffy protested. "And look, Zoro's sleeping already!"

"That doesn't excuse him from helping to clean up! Luffy, go wake him up. The rest of you, get to work!"

Nami's pronouncement, delivered as it was with an air of expectant finality, was greeted with a single enthusiastic response and five dejected grumbles. Luffy ambled over to Zoro to try and wake him up, while Franky and Usopp strung up the washing lines from the convenient hooks in the walls of the Thousand Sunny up to the yardarms, Chopper and Brook busied themselves with the bedclothes, and Sanji disappeared into the galley to gather up all his teatowels and washcloths.

Nami came by to supervise presently, dissatisfied with the progress they were making. "Where's Zoro? Luffy, why didn't you wake him like I told you to?"

"I tried!" Luffy said indignantly. "I shook him and I made faces at him and I splashed water on him and everything! He refused to wake up!"

Nami clucked her tongue in annoyance. "Ever notice that whenever we're doing a major clean-up, Zoro manages to be absolutely fast asleep?" she complained to nobody in particular, making a mental note to charge Zoro a hefty non-appearance fee.

"Fear not, Nami-san, I will work twice as hard to make up for that lazy marimo!" Sanji volunteered.

"In that case, Sanji-kun, can you clean out Zoro's closet for him too?"

"Hai, Nami-swa..." Sanji's voice trailed off in horror as he realised just what he'd just agreed to do. Handle the smelly, fashion-less clothes of the marimo? But he'd already said yes, and to Nami-san to boot, so however unpleasant the task, he had to do it.

The boys headed into their bedroom, all of them grumbling now, stumbling out with armfuls of clothes. Sanji took a deep breath and began sorting through Zoro's heap. There was the red-and-white striped shirt he'd been wearing when he disappeared, ugly as sin if you asked him...the mustard yellow jacket from Enies Lobby...just how many murky green haramaki did the man need anyway...this black coat looked familiar, ah yes, it was that soldier's uniform Zoro stole from Drum Island...and what the hell was THIS thing?

"Sanji, I've already hung up my clothes, do you want help doing yours?" Chopper asked.

Silence.

Chopper turned to look at the cook, puzzled by the lack of response.

Sanji was getting slowly to his feet, holding up a small sleeveless yellow shirt, looking for all the world like a ten-year-old who'd just unwrapped a birthday present to find a set of first-class chef's knives inside. Everyone looked around as Sanji burst into hyena-like yelps of laughter.

"Oh my," Robin said, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she recognised the shirt.

"Is that Zoro's mother?" Usopp managed to gasp before falling to the floor laughing.

"She must be, he looks just like her!" Luffy guffawed.

"Really? I cannot say I can see any familial resemblance...although, I have no eyes! SKULL JOKE!"

"Hey, Chopper, are you sure this shirt isn't yours? Surely it's too small for Zoro," Nami said, torn between not wanting to laugh at somebody's mother and having to giggle at the sheer ridiculousness of the shirt.

"It doesn't look anything like Doctorine, and maybe it expands like my clothes do?" Chopper shrugged.

"Let's try and see!" Luffy immediately proposed. "Hey, Robin, can you...?"

"Leave it to me, captain-san."

Zoro was awoken a minute later by an unfamiliar breeze blowing across his midriff and the howls of laughter from the crew, now too loud to go ignored. "What's so funny?" he asked, before his eyes strayed downwards and bulged at the nightmarish face stretched across his broad chest, the incriminating word "MAMA" beneath it, and indignity of indignities, the little pink heart next to her face. "What the hell? Who's been messing with my closet?"

"So it IS yours!" Usopp deduced, which only sent everyone spiralling into an even bigger fit of laughter.

Franky emerged from the boys' room at that moment, and peered around his mountain of garish shirts to try and figure out what all the shrieks of laughter were about.

"Hey, I recognise her," he said, dumping his pile of clothes on the deck, pushing up his sunglasses to get a better look as he advanced towards the swordsman, who was still paralysed with horror. "Isn't she that obahan who does scrap-collecting? From the backstreets of Water 7? I didn't know you became Michael and Hoichael's aniki, Zoro-bro! Oh, and then there's Akihiro, Youko, Yuuya, Ayako, and...what's the name of that quiet one now?"

"Sho?" Zoro supplied, despite himself.

"Yeah, you really know the whole family, don't you! And of course there's the three little babies!"

"BABIES?" The word sparked off even more snickering.

"Hey, Zoro-bro, if you want, I can get my bros to ask Paulie to pass a message to them for you..."

Zoro didn't bother to dignify the offer with a response. Red-faced up to the roots of his green hair, Zoro tore off the shirt, stalked off to the stern of the ship and raised his arm to fling the offending article of clothing overboard.

Then he hesitated. He turned and took a furtive glance at the others, satisfied himself that they were too busy laughing at him to be paying him any attention, stuffed the shirt into his haramaki and slunk off towards the boys' room, fully intending to pry up a floorboard - if Franky's workmanship permitted - and hide it away, once and for all.

He grit his teeth as he stomped past the crew, hoping they wouldn't notice the telltale bulge, trying not to be bothered by the cook's tears of laughter, the fact that Luffy and Usopp were rolling around in each other's arms, Franky's let's-be-anikis-together pose, the titters Nami was hiding behind one hand and the knowing smile on Robin's face. Finally, he gave up in his attempt not to be bothered and took solace instead in the fact that Chopper didn't seem to find this at all funny and was actually getting to work, on what looked like the cook's clothes.

"Er, Sanji?"

Something about the note of doubt in the reindeer's voice made Zoro stop in his tracks on the threshold of the boys' room and turn around, to see Chopper holding up, from amid a pile of Sanji's pinstriped shirts, a long, white, lacy garment. "Sanji, how come you have a dress in your closet?"

It might as well have been the eleventh of November, for all the gleeful revenge Zoro exacted on Sanji afterwards.

* * *

**A/N:** Ah, Episode 318. The gift that keeps on giving.

As always, reviews of any persuasion are very welcome.

(Incidentally, I decided to edit some of the fics further down the line, which will take a while, so I'll be moving this series to a less frequent posting schedule. Apologies.)


	5. Symbols of promise, Theme: Thorn, K

First of all, MAJOR THANKS to pikinanou for their lovely fanart of the very first chapter: pikinanou .deviantart .com/#/d2tj7w5 featuring Ugly Duckling!Zoro and Juracule Miduck! It's wonderful and hilarious!

And now, on to the fic!

* * *

******Title:**Symbols of promise  
******Theme: **Set #3 - Thorn  
******Claim:**Zoro  
******Words:**1073  
******Rating:**G  
******Warnings: **None, unless you don't know who Brook is.  
******Disclaimers:**I don't own One Piece.  
******Acknowledgments: **Thanks as always to ZeldaAddict42 for beta-ing!

* * *

It took quite a while for the Strawhats to get accustomed to the presence of their new crewmate. It wasn't the fact that he was a living, walking skeleton, although Usopp and Chopper had been rather nervous about sharing a room with him in the beginning, despite their denials. It wasn't his waking them up at the crack of dawn with a performance of "Black Handkerchief of Happiness" either, although that ___was _annoying as hell. No, where Brook turned out to be the biggest thorn in the Strawhats' side was the inordinate length of time he spent in the bathroom each day. Not only that, but he somehow always managed to occupy the bathroom when someone else wanted to use it, as Zoro was finding out, to his chagrin.

"Oi, Brook! How much longer?" Zoro yelled over the sound of the musician singing in the shower.

The singing stopped for a moment. "Ah, I'm sorry, Zoro-san, I think I may still be quite a while!" Brook called back.

Zoro muttered a rude curse and stomped off to the galley, fuming. Having just finished an arduous bout of training under a hot sun, he'd ___really _been looking forward to a cold shower.

"Oi, marimo, I don't want you dripping sweat all over my..." Sanji stopped short in his complaint when he saw the black look on Zoro's face. His eye flickered in the direction of the bathroom, from which the words of "Bink's Sake" could distantly be heard. "Brook again, huh?" he asked, in the voice of a man who'd been there before.

Zoro dumped his towel on the table. "How long does that bag of bones need to clean himself, anyway?" he grumbled.

Sanji snorted. "Not that ___you _would know anything about haircare," he said, glancing at Zoro's thatch of green moss, "but it probably takes quite a while for him to fix up that afro of his."

"It's just _hair_," Zoro groused. "If it's so difficult to manage, he can just have it cut short." He pulled out his katana from his haramaki and laid them on the table. If he was going to have to wait for Brook, he would take the opportunity to give his swords a good cleaning, he decided. He always found the activity calming, and he definitely could use some calming down right now.

"As if Luffy'd let him, he loves Brook's afro," Sanji shrugged. Zoro made a half-impatient, half-bemused noise. "Besides," the cook continued, "you do know why Brook's so protective of his hair, don't you?"

"Why?" Zoro asked shortly, his attention already beginning to divert towards his task as he wiped down the blades, removing the old layer of oil with a sheet of rice paper in sharp, abrupt strokes that betrayed the extent of his exasperation.

"Because that afro's the only way Laboon's going to recognise him, now that he's a skeleton. That's how he's going to keep his promise," Sanji explained. Zoro froze mid-stroke, his brow furrowing in thought. "Well, I'm off to deliver these desserts to Nami-san and Robin-chan. Make sure you don't leave a mess, marimo."

"Yeah, yeah." Zoro resumed his work, each stroke slower and more contemplative now, only to be interrupted half an hour later when Brook popped his head in, looking apologetic.

"Ah, you're here, Zoro-san. I do apologise for hogging the bathroom like that. It's free for you to use now."

"That's all right," Zoro said gruffly. "You were taking care of that, weren't you?" He pointed Wado Ichimonji in the direction of Brook's extravagant hairdo.

"Yoho! Indeed, I was." Brook gave Zoro a puzzled look for a moment. Then he ventured, "If you don't mind me saying so, Zoro-san, I'm surprised."

"About what?"

"That you're so tolerant of such an...unmanly activity." Not that Brook himself found taking care of his afro unmanly, but he suspected the younger swordsman might. He already knew Zoro to be a man among men, and supremely impatient with anything that detracted from his goal of becoming stronger. All Zoro did was train and eat and sleep, as far as Brook could tell, and he would never encumber himself with anything that actually needed this much maintenance unless it brought him closer to his dream.

Then again, there ___was _Luffy-san...

"It's not unmanly," Zoro corrected, sliding Wado in and out of its white sheath a few times, checking that the movement was smooth. "It's a symbol of your promise, isn't it? This is mine."

Brook looked in wonder at the beautiful white katana. Though he could not claim to be a great swordsman, he knew a great sword when he saw one, and he knew Zoro had three. The red-sheathed blade he knew little about, except that Zoro sometimes lectured it as he would a troublesome child. The hard, black blade had of course come from the samurai Ryuuma, and he knew that Zoro treated it with utmost respect. But the white katana was special beyond either of those. He'd noticed from the beginning that Zoro always handled it carefully, almost lovingly, and at last Brook knew why. ___The white katana was Zoro's afro._

"I know what it's like to be the last person left to carry the burden of a promise," Zoro was saying, drawing Brook's attention back from his revelation to the present. He stood up, wrapping up his sword-cleaning kit and tucking it into his haramaki along with the three katana, and nodded towards Brook's head. "So take good care of it." Zoro slung the towel over his shoulder and headed towards the door, as Brook fought against the tears he was sure the man would not appreciate. Then an idea popped into his skull.

"Um, Zoro-san..." Brook began, apprehensive but a little hopeful.

"Yeah, Brook?" Zoro stopped and turned around.

"I was wondering if you could do me a favour..."

"Sure," Zoro said readily, feeling a bit guilty at his ungenerous thoughts from earlier. "What is it?"

"Well, it's like this," Brook said, gaining courage. "I have some trouble reaching the back of my afro, you see, so if you could just help me comb..."

"HELL NO!"

* * *

I really have to stop making Zoro so nice...well, except the refusing-to-do-hairdressing part.

As usual, do let me know what you think!


	6. Hunter's apprentice, Theme: Trap, K plus

******Title:**Hunter's Apprentice  
******Theme: **Set #3 - Trap  
******Claim:**Zoro  
******Words: **1234  
******Rating:**K+  
******Warnings:**Hunting and animal death, I guess...  
******Disclaimers:**I don't own One Piece.

* * *

Zoro eyed the tanuki he was currently holding up by the scruff of its neck, and it gazed back at him hopefully. "Don't do this to me, dammit," Zoro grumbled. Why did every animal he'd caught so far have to look so damn cute, anyway? Add a pair of antlers to this one, and it could almost pass for Chopper. The pleading look it was giving him reminded him especially of the crew doctor.

Another bust, then. He released his grip, and the tanuki dropped to the ground, blinking up at him thankfully. Zoro gave it his best annoyed scowl.

"Scram, before I change my mind." It ran for its life.

Zoro sighed as he watched it go, and decided it was time for a change of tactics. He would go after something big, something fierce, something that ___didn't _look like Chopper in disguise. He hadn't seen any fearsome predators yet, but judging by the population of small- and medium-sized herbivores on this island, there had to be a few lurking around somewhere. This strategy had the added benefit that whatever fearsome predator he did find, it would probably eclipse anything the shitty love-cook could come back with.

The forest suddenly shook with the loud screech of a wounded animal, and Zoro tightened his grip around the hilt of his katana. A predator feasting on its prey, he thought, and he immediately headed towards the source of the sound, only to find that another of his crewmates had gotten there first.

"Chopper?" Zoro asked, peering down into the hole where the crew doctor appeared to be tending to an injured tapir.

Chopper looked up in surprise. "Oh, Zoro! Great timing! Can you give me a hand lifting Tookie out?"

"Tookie?" Zoro inquired, jumping down into the hole.

"His name," Chopper nodded towards the tapir. "He says that someone inconsiderately left this huge hole in the middle of the path, and he wasn't paying attention, so he fell in."

"Inconsiderate, right," Zoro murmured, tapping the vertical wall of the hole thoughtfully.

"He's sprained his ankle, so he can't get out," Chopper explained.

"Okay." Zoro heaved the tapir onto a shoulder and leapt out of the hole in a single bound, followed by the reindeer.

"Thanks, Zoro!" Chopper said gratefully. The tapir made a whining sound as Zoro laid him down on the ground. "Tookie says thanks, too!"

"No problem." Zoro badly wanted to say that actually, that tapir looked like damn good eating, but to kill an animal he'd just rescued, that Chopper was actually having a conversation with, didn't seem very...nice. He decided it was probably wiser to just keep his mouth shut, and watched quietly as Chopper splinted and bandaged Tookie's ankle. Finally Chopper stood up with a satisfied smile at his handiwork, and patted the tapir on its flank. "C'mon, Tookie! I'll take you back to your home where you can have a good rest. See you back at the ship, Zoro! Don't get lost!"

Zoro just rolled his eyes and gave Chopper and his new pal a casual wave farewell. He waited till they were well out of earshot before turning his gaze up to the trees. "You can come down now, Usopp."

His words were met with a nervous chuckle, and in a moment he was joined by a very sheepish-looking sniper. "Uh, so you knew I was there all the time?"

"I recognised your handiwork," Zoro said, pointing at the deep hole. "Not that I'm an expert on traps, but I thought the point was to have sharp stakes in it...?"

"I'd only just finished digging the hole when that great lumbering tapir walked into it," Usopp explained, slightly peevishly. "It wasn't even covered yet!"

Zoro frowned. "Why'd you dig this trap, anyway? I thought it was just Sanji and me who were on hunting duty."

"Well, yeah, but..." Usopp kicked shyly at a pebble. "You and Sanji are always the ones bringing home the bacon, and I just wanted to help..."

"But why go to all this trouble?"

"Why, do you think it's cowardly to dig a trap?" Usopp asked, and Zoro was taken aback by the note of challenge in his voice. "I know you and Sanji can bring down dinosaurs with your bare hands, but _I_ can't, okay? That's why I have to resort to stratagems like this."

Zoro took a deep breath. "That's not what I meant," he said, hoping he sounded patient enough. "What I meant was, you have your slingshot and your Firebird whatsits, don't you?" He nodded at the slingshot stuck in Usopp's belt. "Why don't you use those? You're a good enough shot to bring down any prey, even if it is moving."

"I don't know how to hunt big game! Haven't you seen the island I come from? The biggest wild animal I got to hunt as a kid was a weasel!" Zoro raised an eyebrow as Usopp exploded, apparently too frustrated to boast about the time when he was five when he'd tamed twelve tigers with only his teeth or whatever. His eyebrow rose still further when Usopp continued, this time in a small voice, "And it's not like I ever had a dad or a big brother to teach me this stuff..."

Zoro could've retorted that neither did he, but instead he shrugged and reached for the shovel he'd spotted lying under a bush.

"What's this for?" Usopp asked in bewilderment, catching the shovel as it was tossed over.

"Fill in the trap, before another one of Chopper's friends falls in," Zoro directed.

"Huh? But why?" Usopp queried, scooping up the disturbed earth and returning it to the hole anyway.

"Traps are all well and good, but I dunno anything about them. Not that I know much about hunting with slingshots either, but I figure I can improvise on that."

Usopp's eyes widened. "You mean..."

"Yeah. Hurry up and fill in that hole, and let's go hunting."

**.**

"Wow, Sanji, this meat is really good!" Luffy exclaimed at dinner. It was a wonder they could even make out what he was saying, given that he was currently stuffing his already-stuffed mouth with great slabs of flesh.

Sanji set another heavily-laden platter on the table and smiled at the sniper. "Thank Usopp for it. He's the one who brought back that tiger."

"Wow, Usopp! That's really something!" Chopper said, eyes shining. "Even Sanji and Zoro didn't manage to bring back anything that big, right?"

Usopp swelled with pride. "That's right, Chopper-kun! That's 'cause we're talking about the mighty hunter, Captain Usopp!"

"Oh? Since when did you become such a mighty hunter, Usopp?" Nami asked, a tiny grin on her face.

Usopp tapped the side of his nose. "Ah, it's true I wasn't always such a mighty hunter, but one day I met the Great Green Hunter, who taught me everything he knew..."

As the others chomped on their tiger and listened to Usopp's story, Nami shot a sideways glance at Zoro. "Great Green Hunter, huh?" she murmured knowingly.

Zoro shrugged, and hid his grin behind a mug of sake.

******

* * *

A/N:**I like Zoro/Usopp nakamaship almost as much as Zoro/Chopper nakamaship...something about the big brother/little brother dynamic always gets me :-P

And, honestly? With a crew member that can talk to animals, it's a wonder the Strawhats haven't turned vegetarian yet...

Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far, and I'd love to hear your thoughts about this one too.


	7. Return of an old nemesis, Betrayal, T

This is the start of one of the "arcs" in this 30 Pieces series, first of four parts.

******Title:**Return of an old nemesis  
******Theme:**Set #3 - Betrayal  
******Claim: **Zoro  
******Words:**3639  
******Rating: **T  
******Warnings:**For a spot of language, violence and unpleasant imagery. Also, contains an enemy!OC.  
******Disclaimers:**I don't own One Piece.  
******Acknowledgments:**Originally inspired by a pic by sybile titled Mind Control [pics. livejournal. com/sybile/pic/000q7xg5/g12]. The character Silvertongue is loosely based on Codfix, from "Asterix and the Great Divide", but...a lot meaner. Lastly, thanks to ZeldaAddict42 for giving me loads of help on this fic!

* * *

Chopper paused a moment in his work to wipe the sweat from his brow. It was hard work grinding herbs, especially in this heat, and he'd been going at it non-stop for half an hour now. He idly wondered how long it would be till the others were back from their shopping trip.

___Swoop. Swish._Chopper looked across at Zoro, who was training with an enormous weight, each swift, sure stroke generating a fleeting gust of wind that Chopper desperately wished he was in the path of. They both knew from past experience that Zoro's katas would send Chopper's herbs flying if they got too close, and they'd made sure from the beginning of their watch to keep a safe distance apart.

Chopper watched Zoro for a few moments, lost in admiration for the man he regarded as an older brother. Zoro had made one concession to the heat, removing his shirt and haramaki to train, but otherwise he was still going strong, his furrowed brow set in concentration, seemingly oblivious to the sweat dripping from every pore, determined to push his rippling muscles to their limit and beyond.

Zoro seemed to feel the little reindeer's gaze on him, and his dark eyes swung around to meet Chopper's. Chopper's eyes went wide and he hurriedly returned to his medicines. After all, if Zoro could work this hard, so could he, Chopper decided. If Zoro was going to challenge the greatest swordsman in the world, he would have to become a great doctor too, capable of healing even the worst injuries. He just ___knew _there would be more injuries to heal, more work for him to do. There would surely be more confrontations with the World Government to come, and Zoro would just as surely be in the thick of each one, flinging himself into battle to protect his nakama. Then, when the dust settled, it would be Chopper's turn to protect _him_. Chopper nodded sternly to himself and picked up the grinder once more, rolling it back and forth with more vigour than ever.

Sadly, his new resolution was thwarted two minutes later by the arrival of the land breeze, which forced him to hastily cover up his herbs before they blew away. He sniffed the air tentatively and jumped up. "Zoro! I can smell Sanji! He's on his way back!"

"Okay, Chopper." Zoro continued swinging the weight around nevertheless.

Chopper packed away his herbs into his backpack and jumped up onto the railing of the ship. "Oi! Sanjiiiiiii! I'll let down the rope ladder for you!"

"Thanks," the cook responded.

"Who's that with you?"

Zoro paused for a moment, looking towards the landward side of the ship. There was someone unfamiliar with the cook? It had better not be some girl, he thought, putting down his weight and crossing over towards Chopper and the rope ladder.

But Sanji got there first.

"Sanji? What are you..." Chopper's frantic question died down into a strangled yelp as Sanji picked up the reindeer and held him with an arm across his throat, cutting off his ability to speak.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, shit cook?" Zoro yelled, darting instinctively for his katana where they lay on top of the neat pile of clothes on the deck.

"Leave those swords alone, Roronoa. Otherwise your pet gets it."

Zoro froze, forced to stop by the threat to Chopper, stunned by the unfamiliar term of address. Sanji, calling him "Roronoa"? Calling Chopper "the pet"?

He straightened up, leaving the swords where they lay on the deck, and looked Sanji in the eye. It had to be the cook. He'd only ever seen one other person in the world with so curly an eyebrow, and Sanji had fixed that with his Parage Shot. Yet it ___couldn't_be the cook. Sanji might be a flirtatious idiot, but he would never hurt one of his own nakama.

"Whoever you are, leave Chopper alone," Zoro ordered. "This is between you and me."

"That's right, Roronoa. This ___is _between you and me."

Zoro whirled around to face the intruder, who'd just clambered up the ship's ladder. His eyes narrowed in recognition, his lips curling downwards in a disgusted frown. "___You_."

"Yes, Roronoa Zoro, me. Silvertongue. The man you once put behind bars, all the way back in East Blue."

Zoro remembered him all too well, this frog-faced man with the ingratiating smile and the silky, slimy voice. One of his easiest bounties, but by far the most annoying. The man was well-known for destroying pirate crews, using his gift of eloquent persuasion to turn crew against captain, nakama against nakama, making off with their treasure as they fought amongst each other. Then he got greedy and began targeting Marine bases instead, wreaking verbal havoc and stealing away from the chaos with the contents of their treasuries. Finally the Marines connected the dots and put a one million beli bounty on Silvertongue.

Ridiculously easy money, Zoro had thought - a threatening blade across his neck and the man had surrendered. The ease of the capture was more than made up for by the trip to the nearest Marine base, which seemed to last an eternity as Silvertongue alternated between bribes, threats and cajolery, none of which had much effect other than to make Zoro seriously consider turning him in dead rather than alive. He'd resorted in the end to tearing off the man's sleeve and gagging him with it, wondering why he hadn't thought of this solution earlier. By the time Zoro collected his bounty, he felt that he'd earned every beli.

Now he regretted not killing the man in cold blood, as he looked helplessly towards Silvertongue's hostage, at Chopper's frantic, pleading eyes. He could try attacking Sanji to force him to release Chopper, but he knew that the blond man could easily snap the reindeer's neck before he could even reach him.

"What the hell did you do to the shit cook, anyway?" He was sure that the Silvertongue of East Blue wouldn't have been able to enchant Sanji with fine words. Maybe, if he'd been a woman. But the cook wasn't the kind to listen to another man's instructions. And he would never willingly hurt Chopper, Zoro was certain.

"I wonder if you've heard of a shichibukai by the name of Donquixote Doflamingo?"

"What about him?"

"He has a very interesting Devil's Fruit, that allows him to control other people's bodies like a puppet. I have the companion to that Devil's Fruit, which allows me to control people's minds. Your cook will say what I tell him to say, do what I tell him to do - and he won't remember a thing."

Silvertongue's mouth stretched into an toothy, vindictive grin. "I suppose I should thank you for bringing about my present happy condition. It was in that Marine prison that I found out about this Devil's Fruit, after all. After talking my way out, I entered the Grand Line and searched high and low for it. After years of searching, I finally found it, and with it the promise of great riches and great power. But first, I decided to come after you, the man who put me in that hellhole in the first place. Back then, I could do nothing to you because you were alone. But now that I have your nakama under my control, you are weak, Roronoa Zoro, and I am strong. I'm going to torture you, Roronoa. Not with pain, because I know that you're immune to pain. With words. With betrayal. You will die at the hands of your own crewmates, knowing how much your own nakama detest you, knowing that after you're gone, you will be remembered with hatred, if you're remembered at all."

"Like we'll let you get away with that!" Chopper suddenly grew into Heavy Point, shrugging off Sanji's grasp, rushing towards Silvertongue. But then the man made a gesture with his hand, and Chopper stopped mid-stride, his eyes glazing over.

"Chopper!" Now that Chopper was no longer in danger, Zoro grabbed his katana, unsheathing two of them as he launched an attack at Silvertongue. "Nitoryuu! Taka Na-"

Zoro blinked. He'd just been in the middle of an attack, he knew, so why was he pinned down on the deck of the Thousand Sunny? Where were his swords? His head ached, and he felt violated, somehow, as if his brain had just been raped.

"Whew, that was a surprise," Silvertongue said. "I had no idea your pet was capable of such a transformation." He wiped beads of non-existent sweat off his brow and grinned mockingly at Zoro. "Oh, please stop with the waves of haki or whatever that is, Roronoa. With my Devil's Fruit, I'm immune to such mind tricks. Now, let's see. I ___could _use my powers to restrain you once more, but I would prefer if you were fully conscious of what's about to happen. Would you mind, my dear?"

"Sure thing," a voice said behind Zoro, the voice familiar but the word choice somehow disturbingly uncharacteristic. He glanced backwards as Heavy Point Chopper hauled him onto his knees, to see Robin approaching him - when had ___she _returned to the ship? A moment later he heard two metallic clicks as a pair of heavy handcuffs snapped into place around his wrists. He tugged experimentally at the restraints, instantly recognising that it was useless to try and break them.

He glared at Silvertongue. "What the hell are you -"

"Oiiiiiiii! We're back!" It was Luffy's usual cheerful voice, and for a moment hope flared within Zoro, but when his captain actually used the ladder to climb up rather than extending his rubber arms to catapult himself on board, he knew that Silvertongue had gotten to him, too. As he had Nami, Usopp and Franky, who clambered up after him and stood staring impassively at him through glassy, unfriendly eyes.

___Wonderful_, Zoro thought darkly. There wasn't anything he could do to defend himself, and if anyone else tried to help, Silvertongue would just put them under his spell, too. That was one nasty Devil's Fruit.

"Well, I think your crew's all assembled, so let's begin the festivities, shall we?" Silvertongue sat down on a deckchair and folded his arms, as if he was spectating rather than masterminding the whole event.

"What're you planning?" Zoro growled.

"I'm going to release my hold on your crewmates."

"You're going to do what?" Zoro asked in disbelief.

"Only partially, of course. Enough to let their own personalities surface, but not enough to let them actually control their own actions. I'm going to tell each of them to vent their resentment of you, ___on _you."

"Resentment? Why the hell would they resent me?" Zoro's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Oh, please. What do you take me for, a fool? You're Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro, the Demon of East Blue," Silvertongue spat, emphasis on "Demon". "And, incidentally, the most unpleasant man I've ever met. Clearly, you rule this ship with a fist of terror."

Zoro couldn't help but be amused. "You do know I'm not the captain of this crew, don't you?"

"Only because your captain must be an even more unpleasant man. Just look at that grin on his bounty poster. He's obviously a maniac."

"Obviously." Zoro rolled his eyes. It was kind of embarrassing to be put in so degrading a position by a man who was not only a weakling, but who hadn't even done the most basic research.

"So, I'm going to set them free. Let them show just how much they hate you, all the while telling you why. I have found this an excellent way of destroying the bonds of a crew - and, of course, a highly entertaining way of destroying a strong man's mind."

"I see." As ways of dying went, Zoro reflected, at least this one promised to be interesting.

"Let's start with the cook, shall we? Since I detect a certain amount of enmity towards you in his mind. Go ahead, Sanji-kun," Silvertongue said encouragingly.

Sanji tapped the toe of a shoe against the deck a couple of times, something Zoro recognised as the prelude to - "Anti-Manner Kick Course!" the cook yelled, and a split-second later Zoro was sent sprawling, too hampered by his restrained hands to dodge the kick square to his abdomen.

"Very good, Sanji-kun, very good," Silvertongue said eagerly. "Now, tell Roronoa just what you hate about him."

"You have the worst table manners in the world," Sanji sneered.

Zoro could have laughed out loud at the cook's first choice of insult.

"What! Is that the best you can come up with? Say something more negative!" Silvertongue screeched.

"You're also too fucking strong, -" Zoro's head reeled with another kick - "too fucking self-sacrificing," - yet another - "and too fucking obstinate for your own good!" Zoro coughed up some blood with the last kick.

"Yes, well, although the insults ___could _have been stronger, at least you did some damage," Silvertongue said, sounding doubtful for the first time.

"Yeah, right," Zoro said, running his tongue over his lips to lick off the blood. "That's just the shit cook's minimum setting."

"I must have made a mistake with this one," Silvertongue frowned. "Well, what about your pet, then? Go ahead, Chopper-kun. Tell Roronoa what you ___really _think of him."

Chopper's eyes sparkled with hero-worship. "I wanna grow up to be like you someday, Zoro!"

Zoro was too touched at the reindeer's earnest declaration to laugh.

"No! Something bad! Something you hate about him!" Silvertongue hissed. He turned to Zoro, gesturing in frustration at the Strawhats. "Are all your crew this bad at following instructions?" he asked.

Zoro thought about the zany chaos that every Strawhat day usually wound up descending into. "Yeah, pretty much," he admitted.

"Let's see whether they can follow ___these _instructions, then," Silvertongue said, eyes glinting with malice, and in a moment Zoro found himself under attack from his nakama. He automatically curled up into a foetal position, clenching and releasing muscle groups in turn to minimise the damage, and distracted his mind with trying to identify each of his crewmates in their onslaught.

The barrage of rubber fists could come from no one else but Luffy. Chopper was clinically precise in the way he applied an almost-but-not-quite unbearable pressure to Zoro's spine. At such a close range and with so much interference, Usopp couldn't make as much use of his usual bag of tricks, and seemed to be contenting himself with a few kicks at the prone swordsman, which were nowhere near Sanji's level. Nami's punch was easily recognisable after all the times Zoro had been given a taste of it before. The swat across his face had undeniably come from one of Robin's disembodied hands. Franky's fists were hard as steel as they slammed Zoro into the deck of the ship.

Five minutes later, Silvertongue called off the attack and inspected the bruised and battered swordsman with vindictive pleasure. "So much for the love and respect you seem to think your nakama have for you," he taunted.

"Don't get too cocky," Zoro panted. "They're like that ___all _the time." He knew that if any single one of them had decided to go all out, he'd be deader than a shadowless zombie.

"Is that so? Let's hear what they think. Your ___most negative _impressions, mind!" Silvertongue instructed the crew.

Chopper went first. "Zoro! You're the worst patient in the world! Refusing to rest, taking off your bandages before you're supposed to, forgetting to take your medicines..."

Zoro raised an eyebrow at the familiar complaint. If that was the worst Chopper could come up with... "Uh, sorry?" he offered.

"And you and Cook-bro keep damaging the ship in your fights!" Franky added his usual grievance to the mix.

"Sorry, Franky, we get carried away sometimes," Zoro said, wondering why he was bothering to apologise, when he knew he wasn't really talking to the shipwright. He looked towards Usopp, wondering what his complaint would be. He'd once said he was always negative, so he should be able to come up with a good grudge.

"Zoro, remember that one time on Drum Island..."

"Drum Island?" Zoro had been so sure the sniper would mention Water 7. Usopp must have heard something about Zoro stopping Luffy from inviting him back onto the crew. He couldn't remember anything he'd done to make Usopp resent him on Drum Island.

"When I was trying to carry Dalton-san, and you took over? Why didn't you wait till we were out of sight of the villagers, like I planned?"

"Oh yeah," Zoro chuckled at Usopp's indignation, recalling the incident. "Next time, tell me your plans ___beforehand_." He glanced over at his red-faced nemesis and shrugged. "Can't say I'm feeling too depressed by what I'm hearing here." And Zoro knew what depression was, from his encounters with Perona's Negative Hollow.

He looked at the next in line. Robin. He was truly curious to hear what she would say. Did she mind him not trusting her in the beginning? Or was she okay with it simply because she was the same way?

"If I had to mention something negative about Swordsman-san, it would be that he doesn't read enough," Robin said, consideringly.

"What?" Zoro exclaimed in disbelief. "I don't ___read _enough?"

"Is that the worst thing you have to say about him?" Silvertongue howled. He whirled around and jabbed a finger at Luffy. "All right, Strawhat," he hissed from between clenched teeth. "This had better be good."

Both Zoro and Silvertongue looked expectantly at Luffy, who just stood there, looking as confused as a man whose mind is being controlled can look, until finally they realised that the instruction hadn't registered, somehow.

"Say something! Something negative!" Silvertongue ordered.

"About Zoro? But there isn't anything negative to say about Zoro," Luffy objected, cocking his head to a side.

"I'm sure there's ___something_. Think!" Silvertongue snarled menacingly.

Luffy furrowed his brow and looked so thoughtful Zoro could swear he smelt burning rubber, before Luffy's face cleared and he said eagerly, "Oh, I know! I know! Zoro spends too much time training and sleeping and not enough time playing with us!"

"PLAYING?"

Zoro almost laughed out loud, but he swallowed his laughter when he saw Silvertongue turn purple with rage. He knew his opponent had just snapped. Ordinarily, this would be the moment for him to turn the situation to his advantage. But this time, he didn't have an advantage, and he watched as the opportunity slipped by, as Silvertongue collected his wits once more and turned on the swordsman.

"Fine," Silvertongue said, sounding eerily calm now. "If they like you so much, they can't have you. You will die by those swords you're so proud of, at the hands of one of these nakama you're so close to. I'll even let you pick which one."

Zoro gave one last ineffectual tug at the handcuffs, cursing himself for letting down his guard. Just because his enemy hadn't done any research, just because he had the stupidest plan for revenge in the world, didn't make him any less of a threat.

Zoro ___hated _Devil's Fruits with a vengeance right now. All it took was for a Devil's Fruit to fall into the wrong hands, and cowards became bullies, friends turned into killers, rendering years of nakamaship and training useless in an instant.

But if it had to be...

He looked from each of his nakama to the next, and made his decision, nodding towards the blond-haired cook.

"This man? So I was right from the very beginning, eh? Interesting. Very well."

Zoro watched dispassionately as Sanji picked up Wado Ichimonji from where it lay on the lawn deck.

"Dammit, cook, at least hold it like a katana, not like one of your kitchen knives," Zoro snorted. It would be the height of embarrassment to die being filleted like a fish.

"What, like this?" Sanji asked, changing his grip. Zoro looked at Sanji in surprise and saw the lucidity in his eyes.

"Oi, cook!" he began, only to see the look, and his last hope, slip away, replaced with the dull, lifeless gaze of an automaton.

"Sorry, Roronoa," Silvertongue cackled. "I was enjoying myself too much and got distracted. It won't happen again, I assure you. Now, before I give the command, any last words?"

"None I'd let you hear," Zoro retorted, but in his mind he was apologising. To Kuina, for not keeping his promise. To Luffy, for not protecting him and the crew all the way to Raftel. To Sanji, who he knew would never forgive him, for choosing him to be the instrument of his death. To everyone, for betraying them with his weakness.

But anyone else observing him would have seen only a man who had lived by the sword and was prepared to die by the sword. Zoro shut his eyes, his expression serene, and stood tall as the blade swung towards his throat.

* * *

**A/N: **To be continued.

As usual, let me know what you think!


	8. Vengeance on the avenger, Surprise,Kplus

This is the second of a four-parter arc. Please read the previous chapter if you haven't already done so!

******Title:**Vengeance on the avenger  
******Theme:**Set #3 - Surprise  
******Claim:**Zoro  
******Words:**1398  
******Rating:**K+  
******Disclaimers:**I don't own One Piece.  
******Acknowledgments:** Direct continuation of a fic inspired by sybile's Mind Control pic. And thanks to ZeldaAddict42 for beta-ing this!

* * *

Zoro's eyes snapped back open when he heard the clash of metal against metal, and he watched as Wado Ichimonji went spiralling away, piercing through the deck and embedding itself up to the hilt, and sighed.

"I ___told _you you were holding it wrong." Then he looked towards his saviour. "Thanks, Brook."

"I am deeply honoured to have been of service, Zoro-san!" the Strawhats' musician and second swordsman bowed.

"Better take care of him before he gets you too," Zoro advised, a hint of urgency in his voice, as he looked across at Silvertongue, who was gibbering as he gawked at the skeleton.

"What the hell are you?" he stammered, as Brook advanced on him, sword at the ready. He made a desperate grasping motion with his fingers. "Stop! Just stop!"

Still Brook kept walking towards him.

"No! Why don't my powers work on you? Why can't I control your brain?" Silvertongue shrieked.

Brook paused, looking thoughtful, then he grasped his afro and pulled it to the side, revealing his empty skull. "Ah, that might be because I don't have a brain. Yohohoho!"

Silvertongue crumpled into a heap, gazing up at the towering skeleton despairingly. "No...this can't be...there's no way anyone in this world can withstand my..." Then he swallowed, and seemed to collect himself. "All of you, get him!"

"Behind you!" Zoro warned, seeing the rest of his nakama accelerate towards Brook.

"Leave it to me, Zoro-san!" Brook leapt lightly behind Silvertongue, grabbing him by the collar, skipping out from under Robin's many-handed grasp, over to the hatch that led to the aquarium below, flipping it open and dunking Silvertongue inside. Immediately the others sank to the deck, as if the spark that animated them had gone out.

Zoro blinked, as Silvertongue burst out of the hatch, gasping for air, and Brook flipped the trapdoor shut, pinning the man's head to the deck while his body remained trapped underwater.

Zoro gaped for a moment at the speed of the operation. Less than a minute ago he'd been staring death in the face, and now the tables were completely turned. He made a mental apology to Brook, for having argued once that a walking skeleton did not belong on their crew, and to Luffy, for doubting his judgment. How Luffy could have predicted the utility of such a crewmate, he didn't know, but he was glad now for his captain's instincts.

"Brook, do me a favour, will you?"

"Yoho! Of course, Zoro-san!" Brook agreed readily.

"Don't tell Sanji or the others about the whole...killing me thing."

"Ah," Brook said, looking thoughtful. Zoro-san certainly was a man with many secrets. "Very well, it will be a secret just between the two of us."

Zoro's face cleared. "Great. Now, if you could get the key to the handcuffs..."

"Handcuffs, of course!" Brook began diving into Silvertongue's pockets. "Not in this one! Hmm, not in this one either! What about here?"

"Quickly!" Zoro hissed, but it was already too late. The others were already coming to, and as their heads cleared, their eyes immediately swung to the injured swordsman in their midst.

"Ahhhhh! Zoro, how did you get hurt?" Chopper wailed, rushing over to examine him.

"And why the hell are you half-naked and in handcuffs?" Sanji asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Chopper, I'm fine. Just get me out of these..."

"Who's that?" Nami interrupted, having spotted Brook's prisoner.

"Allow me to explain, Nami-san! This man apparently has a Devil's Fruit that allows him to control minds. You were all under his spell for a while."

"A Devil's Fruit that can control minds? Wow!" Luffy exclaimed, fascinated.

"We were under...you mean we did this?" Usopp asked, pointing at Zoro in horror.

"It's okay, Usopp," Chopper said, breathing a sigh of relief as he finished checking over Zoro. "He's not hurt. Not by Zoro's standards, anyway."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you! Now take off these..."

"He also made you tell Zoro-san your most negative thoughts about him, to psychologically hurt Zoro-san," Brook reported.

Zoro's jaw dropped. "Just how long were you watching, anyway?" he demanded. Damn it, if he'd known Brook had seen that too, he'd have included it in the promise...

"Ah, I apologise, Zoro-san! I was waiting for the right moment to intervene, you see!"

Brook was narrowly spared Zoro's wrath by Chopper's indignant interruption. "You mean, we hurt Zoro's feelings?"

Sanji snorted. "That's the dumbest plan I've ever heard. It's not like the marimo ___has_any feelings for us to hurt."

"Oi."

"You're calling my plan dumb?" Silvertongue bristled. "It's worked plenty of times before, and it almost worked this time too! I was so close to having him killed!"

Sanji's eyebrow coiled into a tight spiral. "What's he talking about, marimo?"

"Nothing," Zoro replied curtly, carefully avoiding Sanji's eyes.

"Of course it was a dumb plan! Why would we say anything bad about Zoro? We don't think badly of him," Chopper said loyally.

"I dunno, some of you were pretty mean," Zoro said with a mock pout.

"We were? Oh no! What did I say?"

"That I was a really bad patient, always taking off my bandages."

"Well, that's true enough!"

"Ow, Chopper..."

"The effective course of action would have been to hurt one of us while Swordsman-san couldn't help us. That would have psychologically hurt Swordsman-san the most," Robin suggested.

There was a stunned silence. "Wow, Robin, that's really evil," Nami said, sounding impressed. "But you're right! That's what he should've done!" Everyone nodded solemnly.

"Robin's scary," Chopper squeaked, hiding the wrong way behind a furiously blushing swordsman.

"Will you just take off these handcuffs already!" Zoro demanded, desperate for a change of subject.

Nami produced a key from her pocket, and Zoro wondered just when she'd managed to filch it off Silvertongue. "For 10,000 beli, I'll remove them for you," she grinned impishly at Zoro.

"Witch!"

"Watch your tongue around Nami-san, shitty marimo!" Sanji lashed out with a kick.

"Bastard, just wait till I get these handcuffs off!"

Silvertongue was staring at the crew as if he'd just realised that yes, he'd chosen the wrong strategy, and his best revenge against Zoro would have been to leave him to the tender mercies of his own nakama.

Finally he found his tongue. "You mean...you all genuinely love this man?"

"I wouldn't go so far..." Sanji began, before being interrupted by an enthusiastic "Yep!" from Luffy.

"But he's a demon! A monster!"

"So what? I used to be called a monster, too," Chopper pointed out.

"So was I," Nami said, remembering the villagers' shock when she joined Arlong's gang after Bellemere-san's death.

"My bounty poster still calls me the Demon of Ohara," Robin added.

"See? In this crew, it's okay to be a demon or a monster," Luffy grinned.

"Don't call the ladies monsters, Luffy!"

"Ow...Sanji...you're mean..."

Everyone looked around as Zoro's handcuffs clattered noisily to the deck, and Zoro stood up, massaging the feeling back into his wrists. "Luffy's right, though," he interjected. "On this crew, it doesn't matter what your past is, so long as you're nakama."

Sanji lit a cigarette and took a long drag on it. "You're going soft on us, marimo," he said, but he was smiling in agreement.

"Waaaaaah! I love you guys so much!" Franky bawled. "GROUP HUG!"

"Franky, no! Argh!" Zoro groaned, as he and Sanji were enveloped in Franky's huge arms. "Leggo, dammit!"

Silvertongue just stared in disbelief as Zoro extricated himself from Franky's embrace, his brain working overtime as he tried to reconcile this Zoro with the Demon of East Blue. Finally he came to the only possible conclusion. "This was all a mistake. I must have gotten the wrong person. There's no way you could be Roronoa Zoro."

Zoro walked up to Silvertongue, cracking his knuckles as a feral grin spread across his face. "Unfortunately for you, I most definitely am."

* * *

**A/N:** More to come, but at least it's not an evil cliffhanger anymore, eh? Thanks for all your reviews so far, everyone! And as usual, I'm eager to hear what you think :-)


	9. Aftermath of it all, Theme:Steel, T

This continues from the two previous fics, so please read those if you haven't already!

******Title: **Aftermath of it all  
******Theme: **Set #3 - Steel  
******Claim: **Zoro  
******Words: **1509  
******Rating: **T  
******Warnings: **Language, Sanji, language!  
******Disclaimers: **I don't own One Piece.  
******Acknowledgments: **Major thanks to ZeldaAddict42 for beta-ing this for me again!

* * *

Sanji left the rest of the crew to mop up whatever was left of Silvertongue and headed into the galley, knowing his gannet of a captain would be demanding dinner as soon as the excitement wore off. He got some rice going, then took out the fresh fish he'd bought in town, washed it, laid it out on the chopping board, picked up his best filleting knife - and hesitated.

Something felt wrong.

He was holding his knife wrong.

Ridiculous, he told himself. He'd done this so many times, day after day for years now. He could wield knives simultaneously in both hands. He could cut as thin and as fast as anyone in the four Blues and still have every slice come out perfectly regular. How could he be doing this wrong?

And yet a niggling doubt still remained.

_Dammit, cook, at least hold it like a katana... _The line replayed through his head like the recording of a Tone Dial.

That had to be it. But why would the marimo be telling him how to hold his katana? Zoro never let anyone near the non-business end of those pointy sticks of his if he could help it. He was so protective of those swords, they never left his side. He talked to them, he showered with them, he cuddled up to them like he was making love to them. The closest Sanji had ever gotten to those blades was the sole of a shoe.

So why did he have this dim memory of having Zoro's most precious katana in his hands?

_I was so close to having him killed!_

_What's he talking about, marimo?_

_Nothing. _And then that evasive look.

Sanji's jaw tightened. When Zoro claimed that nothing had happened, it always meant the opposite.

Fucking _bastard_, always so ready to get himself _killed_...

Disregarding the waiting fish, he stamped over to the galley door and flung it open. "Oi! Marimo! Get your idiot ass in here right now!"

Zoro looked up from where he was being tended to by Chopper. "Go order someone else around," he responded lazily. "I'm busy."

"Actually, Zoro, I'm done." Chopper cast a nervous look over at where Sanji was slowly beginning to smoulder. "You'd better get over there."

"Tch. This'd better be important, shit cook," Zoro said, but he looked vaguely discomfited by the summons, especially when Sanji slammed the galley door shut with one foot and glared at him confrontationally.

"What?" Zoro barked, thrusting his hands into his pockets, carefully avoiding Sanji's eye.

"Give me that sword." Sanji reached for the hilt of the white katana.

"What? No! Why?" Zoro said, reflexively shielding Wado from the cook's grasp.

"So I can kill you properly this time," Sanji snarled.

Zoro grimaced. "You remember?"

"I know that I almost killed you."

"So what? It's not like we don't already half-kill each other everyday, anyway..."

"I've had enough fucking guilt to last me a lifetime, without having to be the guy who murdered his nakama as well!" Sanji hissed.

"But you didn't kill me. Besides, who else was I supposed to choose? One of them?" Zoro gestured to the ship beyond the door. "Can you imagine how they'd react, if they found out what they'd done?"

Sanji's jaw dropped. "You mean _you_ chose _me_ to do that?" he said slowly.

"Damn, I thought you'd already figured out that part."

"Why choose me? Why would how I feel be any different from how any of them would feel?" Sanji demanded, gesturing towards the door.

"I chose you because I trusted you to realise that it was necessary. It had to be one of you. Even if you were conscious, if you'd been given the choice instead of me, would you have let Luffy do it? Chopper? Nami?"

Sanji stared at Zoro for a moment, then turned away. "Fine, I would've done it," he admitted grudgingly. "But it should never have come down to that in the first place!"

"What was I supposed to do? The man could control minds!" Zoro asked in frustration.

"You could've, I don't know, begged or something!" Sanji invented on the spot, instantly realising how Zoro would take the idea.

Zoro turned an incredulous look on Sanji. "_Begged_?" His tone was one of pure disgust.

"What, you're willing to beg on your knees for your captain's life, but not your own?"

"Back then was different!"

"So you were just going to give up and let me kill you? Let all your promises go to waste?" Sanji asked cuttingly, knowing that was the one thing he could say that could actually hurt Zoro.

Sure enough, he was rewarded with a reflexive wince. "I ___didn't _give up, I...had a back-up plan," Zoro said defensively.

"A back-up plan?" Sanji didn't look at all mollified. "What kind of shitty plan did you come up with this time? 'I'll let him chop off my head, so when my brain's gone and Silvertongue can't control me anymore, I can fight back'?"

"No, it was a much better plan than _that_."

Sanji pinched the bridge of his nose to stem the rising migraine. "What, then?"

"You've seen me cut through steel, right?" Zoro pulled Wado Ichimonji out of its sheath.

"Yeah, so what?"

"Ever since I learned to do that, I could cut through nothing, too."

"Oi! Watch where you're pointing that...thing," Sanji calmed down as he realised that apart from exerting a dull pressure on his sternum, the blade digging into his chest was doing nothing at all. "Interesting. But does that work if someone else is wielding the blade?"

"I think so, so long as my swordsman's spirit is greater than theirs."

"You ___think _so? What kind of half-assed plan is that, if you didn't know whether it would work? What was Plan B?" Sanji demanded.

"That _was _Plan B," Zoro admitted. "But I'm sure it would've worked. Here, try it." He flipped Wado Ichimonji, catching it by its blade - ___show-off_, Sanji thought - and handed it over.

"You sure about this?" Sanji asked hesitantly, grasping the hilt. Beating Zoro up as part of their usual fights was one thing, but actually poking the marimo with a sword so sharp he'd seen it cut through whole ships was another.

"'Course I'm sure. Go on, try it. No, don't hold it like that, like this." Zoro adjusted Sanji's grip. "See?" Zoro said proudly, as the point of the blade stopped at his flesh, unable to cut through despite the thrust Sanji was putting behind it.

"That's pretty impressive," Sanji conceded. "What about if I try this then?" he asked, changing his stance, just as the door to the galley swung open.

"Sanji, I was wondering...what on earth are you two DOING?" Chopper shouted, as the two of them gave a start at the doctor's sudden entrance, causing the blade to slide along Zoro's arm, leaving a trail of blood behind it.

"Whoops," Zoro said, frowning at his bleeding arm.

"What the hell? You told me this wouldn't hurt you!" Sanji yelled.

"It ___wouldn't _have hurt me, if I hadn't been distracted!" Zoro explained, gritting his teeth against the sharp pain.

"What were you two thinking? Do you have some kind of blood fetish or something?" Chopper squawked indignantly, brandishing a roll of bandages.

"It was just an experiment! Chopper, no! Ow..."

**.**

Chopper sighed as he unpacked his herbs once more. Sanji had grumpily declared since (a) there was marimo blood all over his _formerly _spotlessly clean counter, and (b) the kitchen staff had suffered a _vicious assault _from the emergency food supply, dinner would be a bit late, so Chopper now had the time to finish off the herb-grinding he'd been working on earlier.

_Swish. Swoop. _On the other side of the deck, Zoro was back at his katas again, this time sporting a fresh bandage around his arm and an equally fresh lump on his head. Chopper had tried to stop him, given the wound and his earlier sufferings, but Zoro just shook his head stubbornly and said the injury proved he needed more training. The cut was too shallow for Chopper to argue otherwise, so he'd given up protesting.

Chopper watched Zoro for a few moments, then returned to his herbs with a will. He was going to work hard, he decided, as hard as Zoro worked to become stronger, as hard as Sanji worked to keep them all fed. He would become a better doctor - no, the best doctor in the world, one capable of curing any injury and any illness. But even then, he wasn't sure if he'd ever find a cure for the idiocy of two hopelessly idiotic idiots named Zoro and Sanji.

* * *

**A/N:** I love Zoro's ability to cut through nothing way too much :-P

So, a couple of reviewers were wondering about the structure of this four-parter, given that everything seemed to be over already last chapter. Originally, this was the epilogue and conclusion to this series (although these events are mentioned in a couple of fics down the line). But, the people commenting on this on LJ gave me the idea for an omake, so that's what's coming up next. (I was just lazy to mention it earlier.)

As always, I'm eager to hear what you thought!


	10. Aftermath of the aftermath, Student, T

******Title:**Aftermath of the aftermath  
******Theme:**Set #3 - Student  
******Claim:**Zoro  
******Words:**646  
******Rating:**T  
******Warnings: **Some swearing.  
******Disclaimers:**I don't own One Piece.

* * *

Zoro's eyebrow twitched violently as the knife in his hand suddenly refused to cut any further into the carrot he was slicing. He glanced furtively to his right where Sanji was whistling as he placed a generous chunk of sea king in the oven, and pressed down with all his might. ___Still _the carrot didn't budge. Zoro glared at it malevolently. He was going to be the greatest swordsman in the world, dammit, he couldn't be defeated by a garden vegetable! He deeply regretted ever mentioning his ability to cut through nothing to the cook now. No wonder Sanji'd holed himself up in his galley for the last few days. Come to think of it, that explained why all their meals recently had been served in small bite-sized chunks, too. ___Insecure bastard__.  
_  
"All right, what am I doing wrong ___now_?" he barked, tossing the knife down in disgust.

Sanji straightened up and looked over the most recent products of Zoro's knifework. "Too thick. Slice 'em thinner," he directed.

___Picky_, insecure bastard. He wasn't even trying to hide that smug smirk on his face, for fuck's sake. Shit cook was enjoying this cooking lesson a little _too_ much.

Zoro sighed, eyeing the mountain of carrots he'd been assigned to chop up with something approaching despair. Why they even needed so many carrots he didn't know - Luffy sure as hell wasn't going to eat them. ___Sadistic_, picky, insecure bastard.

He waited for Sanji to turn away again before picking up the knife once more, surreptitiously changing his grip to one he was more accustomed to. To hell with proper cutting technique, he was gonna do this ___his _way.

A moment later, he was swearing like a sailor when the knife slid along the length of the carrot, stubbornly refusing to slice through despite all the pressure he was exerting on it.

"What's the matter, marimo? Your swordsman's spirit not up to my cook's spirit?" Sanji teased.

"Leave me alone! You wanna get these carrots cut or not?" Zoro demanded.

"The way you're holding that knife, you're not going to have enough control for a fine cut," Sanji lectured. Zoro gave a start as Sanji wrapped his slender fingers around Zoro's and the knife handle, rapidly chopping up the rest of the carrot, holding up a disgustingly paper-thin slice for them both to examine when he was done. "See?"

___Show-off! _Zoro's fingers twitched towards his swords. So the shit cook thought he was a real ace with his knives, huh? He'd show him a thing or two about fancy bladework...

"Don't even think about it, marimo. I'm not gonna let you contaminate food with oil and powder and blood and whatever other shit you get on those swords. It's unsanitary."

"Who says I was gonna use my katana on the _carrots_, curly?" Zoro retorted, flicking Sandai Kitetsu a couple inches out of its hilt.

Sanji's grin stretched still wider as he shifted his weight onto one leg, in preparation for a block. "Bring it on, marimo."

"A-___hem_."

They glanced around guiltily to see two beady reindeer eyes fixed on them in a warning glare.

"Er...on second thoughts, I do have a lot of carrots to slice."

"Yeah, I guess I'll give you a hand with those."

"This the right way to hold the knife?"

"Yeah, that looks pretty good."

Zoro and Sanji gave each other a look of mutual commiseration and returned to work, exhaling a breath they didn't know they'd been holding when the rustle of a page told them Chopper had gone back to his book. The crew doctor's decree that neither of them was to be allowed near a bare blade without adult supervision couldn't be lifted soon enough.

* * *

******A/N: **And, Chopper wins again! Honestly, this fic totally wasn't in the plan in the beginning but people liking Zoro's ability to cut through nothing made me wonder if _Sanji_ could develop that same ability with his kitchen knives, hence this fic. And then Chopper popped out from nowhere at the end. XP

Although this is the end of the four-parter, the events of this "arc" will be mentioned again in future fics...and as always, I'm eager to hear what you think!


	11. Davy Back Fight Cultural Edition, Kplus

******Title:**Davy Back Fight, Cultural Edition  
******Theme: **Set #3 - Dance  
******Claim:**Zoro  
******Words:**3190  
******Rating:** K+  
******Warnings:**I did a fair amount of research for this one but I'm sure there are still inaccuracies. Also, contains an opponent!OC. I was thinking of using Foxy but it didn't really work...  
******Disclaimers:**I don't own One Piece.

* * *

The nightmare began with the twin gunshots going off, one after the other, the signal for a new Davy Back fight.

"You don't think..."

"It can't be..."

"I'm afraid so."

"Not ___again_," everyone sighed.

But it was true. Luffy came bouncing back to them a short while later, accompanied by the other captain and his crew, who could not have been more different from Luffy and the Strawhats. Where Luffy wore a simple red vest and scruffy blue shorts, the man was clad in a dignified kimono. While Luffy's hair was dishevelled as ever, the man's was pulled back in a neat topknot. Luffy had his usual grin plastered across his face, while the man looked solemn, giving each of them a stiff nod of the head. His crew of about twenty were similarly attired in various states of elegance, and they looked disdainfully at the Strawhats' general scruffiness. Aside from the girls, Sanji was probably the only one who came remotely near their idea of being well-dressed.

Not that Luffy seemed to have even noticed these differences, as he poked his thumb into the man's chest and said, "Hey everyone! Check out this guy! He's really funny!"

The kimono-clad man introduced himself as Shirahama, captain of the Culture-Loving Shirahama Pirates. "Culture-Loving" was the first indication that they were in deep trouble, though they managed to win the first round, Robin deploying her Hana Hana no Mi abilities to create a fleeting ikebana whose ethereal beauty enchanted the culture-loving captain/judge despite lasting only a few seconds.

The second round, on the other hand, was an utter disaster. The "drawing" task turned out to be calligraphy, and though Usopp's handwriting was neat, that didn't make up for the fact that he didn't know any kanji, only the standard alphabet, and had no idea of calligraphic style. Even they had to concede that Shirahama's calligrapher - a novel position on a pirate crew if ever they'd heard one - had done a much better job.

They stood waiting tensely for Shirahama's decision on which of their nakama he would claim, wishing that (a) Luffy wouldn't ___always _let the other side dictate the tasks, and (b) he had chosen some important member of Shirahama's crew rather than their pet Atlas beetle after winning round one. Chopper's look was resigned. He usually bore the emotional brunt of these Davy Back challenges, since every crew they'd competed with so far had been enchanted by the idea of a cute, furry, talking reindeer-doctor who could transform at will. But he knew Zoro and Sanji, who'd been fielded for the third and final task, would win him back, no matter what.

And then Shirahama chose ___Sanji_.

Sanji was ___not _amused, and made his views on the matter known, pointing out the crucial lack of women on Shirahama's crew, particularly Nami-swan and Robin-chwan, not to mention the fact that they were hardly real pirates, if all they did was hang out on this island and wait for other crews to fall victim to their cultural version of the Davy Back Fight, and therefore wouldn't ever get to within a hundred miles of All Blue.

"Don't be such a wuss and just accept it, curly-brow," Zoro interrupted. "There's no use complaining about it when you belong to his crew now."

That was when Sanji realised that whatever hope he had of getting back on the Strawhat crew now lay solely in Zoro's hands as the only eligible crew member signed up for the third task.

To say he freaked out was an understatement.

"Don't worry, Sanji-kun, it's a drinking contest, remember? Zoro will definitely be able to handle it," Nami assured him.

"Drinking contest?" Shirahama smirked. "What makes you think this will be a drinking contest?"

Nami looked down at the sign-up sheet. "But it says here the third task is 'drinking'," she pointed out.

"Only one person will be doing any drinking. The third round will be the traditional tea ceremony. One contestant will act as the host, the other as the guest. Whoever makes more mistakes, loses the round."

"Tea ceremony? What's that?"

"It is a very old cultural tradition dating back hundreds of years, in which tea is served to one's guests in a prescribed, ritualistic manner. It takes years of practice to master the art," Robin explained.

"How the hell is the marimo gonna do that without making any mistakes?" Sanji howled.

"Oi," Zoro growled. "As if ___you _know anything about it."

"At least I know how to serve ordinary tea, you barbarian!"

"Ahhhhhh! We're gonna lose Sanji!" Chopper squealed.

"Shishishi! Don't worry, Chopper, Zoro won't let us lose Sanji," Luffy declared confidently.

"Um, Luffy, I wouldn't be so sure about that," Nami said, glancing at the swordsman and the cook, who were currently glaring daggers at each other across the clearing separating the two pirate crews.

"I'm sure," Luffy grinned. "Right, Zoro?"

"Huh? What?" Zoro asked, pulling away reluctantly from the staring contest.

"You'll get Sanji back, won't you?"

"Do we really have to?" Zoro snarled.

Usopp, Franky and Chopper promptly burst into tears.

Zoro sighed. "Okay! Okay, I'll get the shit cook back." He looked over at Shirahama. "I assume you be providing the tearoom and all the equipment?"

"Naturally."

"So who's going to be the host?"

"We'll toss a coin for that."

"Heads or tails?" Shirahama asked.

"Heads," Zoro answered.

"Tails. That makes you the host. I will be the guest."

Zoro shrugged. "Fine." He turned and headed off.

"Zoro, where are you going?"

"Back to the ship to change."

"The ship's that way!"

"I KNEW THAT!"

"Great," Sanji grumbled. "He can't even find his way to his own ship and he's supposed to fumble his way through this artistic, cultural ceremony?"

"Zoro-san may surprise us yet," Brook offered.

"Yeah, he's full of surprises all right. Like how he can miss that the ship's right there in front of his eyes," Sanji muttered.

They were forced to wait some time for Zoro to return, presumably while he went on an unscheduled exploration of the rest of the island, but when he did, the Strawhats were taken aback. "Zoro, what're you wearing?" Luffy asked, wide-eyed at the lack of the usual white shirt, dark pants and green haramaki.

"Kimono and hakama," Zoro replied shortly.

"Remember when we rented those wedding costumes from the island before Clockwork Island? When the Going Merry got stolen?" Usopp reminded them.

Zoro looked towards Shirahama and asked, "Would you show me the tea room and the utensils?"

"Of course. This way."

"Excuse me, Shirahama-san, but may we also observe the ceremony?" Robin inquired.

Zoro frowned, but Shirahama immediately said, "Of course, dear lady! If we leave the sliding door to the adjoining room open, you should be able to watch to your heart's content."

"I wanna watch too!" Luffy immediately said.

"Me too!" Chopper added, raising a hoof.

It was soon established that all of the Strawhats and all the Shirahama Pirates, now including Sanji, wanted to be spectators, and they trooped off in one mass to view the rather stark tea-room.

Zoro took a quick look around and observed, "The alcove is empty."

"Ah yes, what a pity," Shirahama smirked with exaggerated regret. "I should have explained earlier that you were supposed to use the ikebana arrangement and calligraphy from the first two rounds to decorate it."

"That's not fair! If you'd told me it was meant for this, I would have done the calligraphy in a completely different style!" Usopp objected.

"And we'd have made our flower arrangement last! Here, Zoro-bro, I'll make up another one for you. It'll be super!" Franky offered.

"_No_. This is my match." Zoro glowered at them, daring them to suggest giving him any more help, so no one did. "What about the equipment?"

"In here. You may take your pick of any of these." They watched as Zoro browsed the shelves of pottery, finally selecting a bowl and some other equipment, as well as a simple vase to use for the flower arrangement.

"I'll need ten minutes to get ready," he said.

"Of course. Take as much time as you like," Shirahama said with a fake-polite smile. "Would you also like another scroll and ink?"

"Please," Zoro said, with a curt incline of his head, and Shirahama departed.

"Zoro's talking like Brook all of a sudden," Luffy said in wonder.

"Must be killing him to be polite for once," Sanji grumbled. That his fate was in the marimo's hands wasn't doing any favours for his temper. Seeing Zoro stride outside and bend over to grab a handful of grass from the ground and place it in the vase made it even worse.

"Oi! Marimo! You consider that a flower arrangement? It's supposed to be pretty!" he yelled.

"Yeah, Zoro-bro! You gotta make it big and flashy!" Franky added.

"Shut up. Like you two know anything about this," Zoro replied.

"Actually, Franky, flower arrangements in the tea ceremony tradition are meant to be extremely simple. Even a single flower stalk will do," Robin corrected.

"But this is grass!"

"It's flowering grass, dumbass," Zoro said, "and that's good enough."

Sanji looked to Robin for confirmation, and she nodded. "On summer islands, flowering grasses are often used in ikebana."

Shirahama returned with a scroll and calligraphy set like the one Usopp had used earlier. Zoro sat at the table Usopp had used in the second round and laid out the equipment methodically, then picked up a piece of practice paper and dipped the brush in ink and tested it with various strokes. Nami shushed the rest of the Strawhats into silence as Zoro set aside the practice paper and laid out the scroll in front of him. His brush hovered contemplatively over the scroll for a moment, then he began to write, his hand moving fluidly down the scroll.

"What the hell is that, I can't even read the marimo's handwriting," Sanji muttered, trying to figure out the six scrawled kanji. Something about tigers...?

"The tiger roars, and far away the wind blows," Robin read for them. "Excellent calligraphy, Swordsman-san."

"_That_'s considered good?" Sanji exclaimed, moderating the level of disbelief in his voice in deference to Robin's judgment.

"It's very artistic, yes," Robin said, again with that enigmatic smile, and judging by the amazed look on the face of the Shirahama crew's resident calligrapher, they knew she was speaking the truth - it _was _good calligraphy.

"But what does it ___mean_?" Chopper asked.

"Roughly, when a man of abilities rises to the occasion, he will attain excellent results," Robin explained.

"In other words, 'just shut up and let you get on with it'?" Nami translated into standard Zoro-speak.

"Please," Zoro said sarcastically. He put away the calligraphy equipment and picked up the scroll and "flower" arrangement, disappearing into the little tea-room to decorate it. After a few minutes, he emerged once more and said something in a low voice to Robin. She nodded and went over to Shirahama. "Zoro-san wishes me to inform you that everything is ready, Shirahama-san."

A look of mixed curiosity and pleasure came over Shirahama's face. He nodded and strode into the tea-room via the guest's entrance, while the Strawhats and Shirahama's men crammed themselves into an adjoining room. They peeked inside to see Shirahama sitting patiently in the tea-room, gazing at the scroll hanging in the alcove.

"How dare the marimo keep his guest waiting!" Sanji raged, though careful to keep his voice in a low whisper in unconscious deference to the austere atmosphere.

"Actually, it is customary to allow the guest some time to contemplate his surroundings before beginning the ceremony, Cook-san."

"Er, is that so?" Sanji said, only slightly mollified. At that moment, the door to the preparation room slid open two-thirds of the way, and then fully open. Zoro picked up the bowl between his knees and rose to his feet, entered the room and knelt again, placing it in front of his guest and bowing. "Please have some sweets," he offered, and left again.

"Swordsman-san is doing very well," Robin observed, interrupting their stunned silence at seeing Zoro lower his head to ___anyone_.

"But all he's done is come in the door and put down the bowl of sweets and bow!"

"And yet, there were at least twenty different things he could have got wrong," Robin explained, still watching intently as Zoro entered and exited the room several times, carrying several different types of tea equipment. "For example, have you noticed that he has been very careful to walk into the room starting with his left foot?"

"There's a rule even for ___that_?" Usopp asked, open-mouthed.

"That is why it takes years to master this art."

"Shishishi!" They were interrupted by Luffy's giggling. "Zoro just bowed to a teapot!"

"It's very important to show proper reverence for the items used in the tea ceremony. In some cases, they may be heirlooms dating back hundreds of years."

Robin continued answering their questions for a while, but gradually all the spectators, even Luffy, lapsed into silence as they watched Zoro prepare the tea and serve it to Shirahama, mesmerised by the sights and sounds of the tea ceremony. The satisfying sharp knock of wood against wood as Zoro put down the ladle. The swish of the brush as it scraped the bottom of the bowl. The fluid, elegant gestures of both host and guest, made natural by years of practice. The rare sight of ___Zoro _doing the closest thing to dancing that any of them would ever get to see him do.

But most of all, what entranced them was the growing atmosphere of mutual respect between the two opponents, as Shirahama broke with ceremony to invite Zoro to join him in tasting the bowl of tea. Finally the ritual culminated in a deep bow on both sides. Zoro left the room, and they blinked, as if they'd just woken up from a dream and returned to the present.

Sanji scratched his head, annoyed at finding himself strangely moved by the ceremony. "So, um, what now?"

"As far as I can tell, neither side made a single mistake," Robin said.

"Then who won?" Luffy asked, utterly confused by now. He liked Davy Back games a lot more when they involved more action, even if seeing Zoro do that weird ceremony was cool.

"Perhaps we should discuss it outside with Roronoa-san," was all that Shirahama was willing to say for the moment.

They exited the tea-room to find Zoro waiting there, swords back at his side and arms folded. "Well?" he asked shortly.

"I would say I counted three mistakes on your part, Roronoa-san," Shirahama replied.

Zoro shrugged. "Yeah, I'm kinda out of practice."

"And how many mistakes would you say I made as the guest?" Shirahama asked, with an odd smile on his face.

Zoro looked him squarely in the eye. "I forgot to count."

"WHAT! But you count everything ___else_! How could you forget to count ___this_?" Sanji despaired.

But Shirahama's smile stretched wider. "Apparently I made a strategic mistake. I should have chosen you first and then your cook. I should not have misjudged one with so illustrious a surname. Take back your nakama. You deserve the victory," he said graciously.

"That means we won?" Nami gasped.

"Supa! We got Sanji-bro back!" Franky cheered.

"I knew Zoro could do it!" Usopp sobbed.

"Welcome back, Sanji!" Chopper hurled himself on the bewildered cook.

"Yahoo! Let's have a party, Sanji! With lots of meat and sake!" Luffy began dragging Sanji off towards the ship.

"I don't suppose it would do me any good to offer you a place in my crew," Shirahama said, his voice tinged with regret. "It has been a very long time since I have so enjoyed a bowl of tea."

"___Ichigo, ichie_," Zoro replied. "Treasure every opportunity, for it will never come again."

Shirahama raised his hands in a self-deprecating gesture. "Spoken like a true master of the tea ceremony."

"In any case," Zoro shrugged, watching the retreating backs of his cook and captain, "I'll take sake over tea, anyday."

...

Dissection of the day's events stretched well into the party, much to Zoro's disgruntlement.

"But Robin-san, what did Shirahama-san mean about Zoro-san's surname?" Brook asked.

"The fact that Swordsman-san has a surname at all is somewhat unusual. Though not iron-clad evidence, it is an indication that he descends from a noble family," Robin explained.

"Zoro, NOBLE?"

"Then you must also be descended from a noble family, Robin!"

"Perhaps. I confess I have never looked into the matter," Robin replied vaguely, giving as usual the impression that she knew a lot more than she had revealed.

"So, Zoro, what's your family history?" Nami asked curiously.

"I have no idea and I don't give a shit," Zoro lied.

"But how did you know how to perform the tea ceremony?" Nami was dying to know.

Zoro shrugged, his hand moving down unconsciously to finger the hilts of his katana. "By the time I left the dojo I was Sensei's senior disciple. Naturally, I had to perform the tea ceremony for guests and stuff."

"It is no surprise," Robin said, smiling at Zoro. "After all, Swordsman-san has probably had the most traditional upbringing of any of us."

Zoro frowned a little, wondering if there was some hidden meaning to the archaeologist's words. When Robin met his eyes fearlessly, though, he just shrugged and reached out for a piece of sea king that had miraculously evaded the Luffy-vacuum, only to have his hand slapped away by Nami.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" he demanded.

"No more eating with your bare hands, Zoro. No more talking with food in your mouth, either."

"Huh?" Zoro gaped. "But why? We've always done it! Look, Luffy's eating with his bare hands ___right now_!" Zoro pointed.

"Buh Bowo, ib'f obay bauf I'b we bapbain!"

Nami ignored the muffled interruption. "Yes, Zoro, but now we know you can be civilised if you only ___try_. You should be setting a better example! Like Sanji-kun!"

Zoro groaned and looked up at Sanji. "I ___knew _I was gonna regret trying to get you back, shit cook."

Sanji laid down a fresh plate of sea king in front of Zoro, and leaned over to top up Zoro's mug of sake. "Yeah," he said grudgingly. "Thanks anyway, shitty marimo."

* * *

**A/N:** I feel like Sanji would have come up with a way better ending line, but oh well :-P

As usual, I'm keen to know what you think! Concrit is especially welcome!


	12. Adventures of young Zoro part 1, Kplus

As some people have asked (and happened to be already written), I present the first of I think four pieces speculating on Zoro's past. I probably wouldn't have written it if not for the themes supplied by 30 Pieces, but it was fun and I gradually began to convince myself that it might be true, haha. It could have been a lot better fleshed out but that was all the time I had for it back then, and I'm not so invested in it that I wanted to rework this completely, so, sorry about that!

******Title:**The adventures of young Roronoa Zoro (Part 1)  
******Theme: **Set #3 - Kingdom  
******Claim: **Zoro  
******Words:**2584  
******Rating:** K+  
******Warnings: **Pre-canon Zoro, rampant undeveloped OCs, random speculation about Zoro's past.  
******Disclaimers:**I don't own One Piece.

___

* * *

Ten years ago, in a kingdom in East Blue

* * *

_

"OWWWWWW!"

"Ha! I got you!" a green-haired boy grinned triumphantly, brandishing his makeshift "sword", which was really nothing more than a branch snapped off a tree.

"Yeah, you've got me," his stick-fighting opponent admitted. "But what else is new, huh? Once more!"

"Okay!" The boys took up ready stances once more, only to have their mates interrupt their "duel".

"Look out, it's Ryo's mother!"

"Boys! Come back! It's time for supper!" Ryo's mother called.

"Already?" came a chorus of groans, despite the very obvious evidence of the sun setting in the distance. "We were just getting started!"

"You've already been playing for three whole hours," she said with a smile. "Look at you all! What filthy little ruffians! You'd better go wash up before supper. Go on with you now!" She shooed the reluctant boys back to their respective homes, then turned a kindly look on the only boy remaining besides her own son. "You don't live around here, Zoro, so you'd better get going before your mother misses you."

"Yes, ma'am." He began running off.

"Don't get lost, Zoro!" Ryo called after him, a mischievous grin on his face.

Zoro turned around enough to stick his tongue out at his friend. "I won't!" He looked back at the castle in the distance, overlooking the city. It was hard to get lost, when home was within sight wherever you were.

**.**

Once he was within the castle walls, Zoro looked about him cautiously, wondering what to do next. As Ryo's mother had said, it really wouldn't do to present himself at dinner looking this dirty. Best to just go up the walls, then.

Hand over hand, he pulled himself up the ancient creeper with an ease born of plenty of illicit experience, glancing around every once in a while, hoping that none of the guards would take it into their heads to make a round of the grounds just then. But the coast remained clear. Just a little bit further...

"It's a bad situation." Zoro froze as he heard his father's voice from within the walls. Since when had the throne room been moved over to ___this _wing of the castle? "The World Government's claiming suzerainty over us."

"I don't understand." ___Mother's voice..._"The Treaty of Renades clearly states that we are an independent kingdom, free to do as we please so long as we do not interfere with World Government affairs."

"That was signed centuries ago, when what presence the World Government had in East Blue was too new and too weak to challenge us." King Jiro sounded weary. "They have more than two hundred member countries by now, fleets of Marines in every Blue...more than enough ___authority _to tear up a treaty and rewrite history so that it never existed. We did nothing to stop them in all the generations that came in between. Now we have to bear the consequences of our foolish inaction."

"But why us? Why now?"

"They're doing it to every independent kingdom in the east. Goa has already ceded to them. The Tenryuubito are on their way there as we speak, under the guise of an 'inspectional tour'. Apparently Mariejois and Sabaody aren't enough to satisfy their greedy appetites any longer."

"Will they occupy Goa, then?"

"Better Goa than us. Goa has been rotting from the inside for years now, what with all their ridiculous ideas about societal purity. They were practically falling over themselves clamouring for the ___honour _of having the Tenryuubito in their midst." Zoro could hear the disdain in his father's voice, and decided he was very glad he wasn't its target this time. He decided to risk hitching himself up a few more inches so he could see over the sill of the window.

"Better Goa than us?" Zoro's mother echoed, a note of question in her voice. "Are you saying that we concede as well?"

Jiro sighed. "If gold and jewels were the only tribute they desire, that would be fine. But..." Zoro watched as his father crossed over to his mother and wrapped his arms around her. "They want a 'guest', to seal the pact."

"No!" the queen gasped. "You don't mean..._Zoro_?"

Zoro's heart plummeted to his stomach, and he made an involuntary noise. He ducked down beneath the window as his father cast a suspicious look in his direction, so he could only hear rather than see his mother's sobs.

"Who else could I mean?" Jiro's voice was hard and bitter. "We have but one child. They know that much. That's why they're asking for him. He's the last of our line, and if he goes who will carry on our line when I'm gone? He's the only heir, even if -" and here his voice rose rapidly in volume – "he ___happens _to be eavesdropping on us at this very moment."

"Oh, shit!" Zoro desperately looked around for a quick exit, but short of leaping the height of a few floors...it was too late, anyway, as an iron grip encircled his wrist and he was pulled into the room.

"Zoro! What are you doing out there? And...in those clothes?" his mother looked wide-eyed as his dirty, dishevelled appearance.

"More importantly," the king cut in, "Why were you listening to a confidential conversation between your mother and me?"

"I didn't mean to!" Zoro protested. "I was trying to get back to my room!"

"Oh? And what were you doing before that? Did you sneak outside the castle grounds again?"

Zoro hung his head.

The king sighed. "And how much did you hear?"

"Enough," Zoro admitted in a small voice. He hated that disappointed tone of his father's. But when no further rebuke came, he risked an upwards glance. His father was gazing down at him, not angrily, but sorrowfully. Emboldened by the lack of censure, he ventured, "But Father, can't we fight instead?"

"Fight?"

"Yes! Why don't we fight? We're strong! ___I'm _strong! I can beat all the boys in town when we play at stickfighting!"

"So that's what you've been doing in town? Fighting with the boys there? Hardly becoming for the crown prince. Perhaps that explains where you picked up such language."

Zoro squirmed. "Well...I have to fit in, don't I? They don't know I'm a prince, truly they don't. There are plenty of Zoros around."

"All named after ___you_," the king pointed out dryly.

Zoro shuffled uneasily, finding it hard to read his father's current mood. "I guess. Anyway, our soldiers are really strong too, aren't they? We can beat them! All we have to do is fight!"

"You would choose to fight the greatest naval force on earth, then?"

"Yeah!"

The withering look his father gave in response to his enthusiastic assertion crushed him more than any physical blow could have.

"You mean...you're not going to fight? You're going to give up? Give ___me _up? Just like that?" he asked, feeling the knot in his stomach from when he'd first heard the anguish with which his mother cried his name harden and expand. His fists clenched and he began to tremble despite himself.

The king walked to the throne and sat down heavily. "What would you choose, Zoro? Your life? Or the lives of your people? The lives of countless soldiers who would fight and die in this war? The lives of those friends you play with in town?"

Zoro stared wordlessly at his father.

"Because if we choose to defy the World Government, that is what will happen. Our soldiers _will_ die. We _will_ lose the war. And do you know what will happen to the rest of our people?"

Zoro shook his head.

"Not far away from here, in East Blue itself, there is a bridge being built on the backs of slaves whose crime was nothing more than to be born of ancestors who dared to oppose the World Government. That is what will happen to our people, if we choose to fight."

There was a terrible silence.

"Tell me Zoro, what ___do _you choose?" Jiro said softly.

Zoro stared at his father's face for an eternity. Then his lower lip began to wobble and he flung himself into his father's lap. "It's heavy," he sobbed.

"Hush," the king said soothingly, gathering Zoro into his arms. "That's what it means to be a prince."

"Then I don't ___want _to be a prince!"

"It's what you were born to be."

"But what good is it being a prince if it means becoming a slave to the Ten - Tenryuubito?" Zoro wept.

"You won't be a slave," his father said firmly. "You are a prince. You bow down to no one. Now, go wash up and make yourself look like a proper prince again. The Tenryuubito will never accept a street urchin like you for a hostage."

___

* * *

One month later_

* * *

Zoro watched glumly as his freedom was signed away for his kingdom's sake. One sheet of parchment. That was all it took.

He eyed the grand ship waiting in the harbour, dwarfing every ship in the kingdom's fleet, so huge it couldn't even pull up to their docks. So that was the power of the World Government. Or, perhaps, the power of the Tenryuubito.

He glanced at the man sitting across from his father at the table where they were signing the new treaty. He looked utterly and completely ordinary. What was so great about the Tenryuubito anyway? Just because they were the descendants of the founders of the world? What made them so different from everyone else?

The same thing that made his life somehow worth so much more than his friends' lives, he supposed. Even though he would give anything, anything to be able to trade places with them now. He'd seen a few of them - Ryo, Kenta, Minoru - darting in and out among the crowd. He wondered whether they recognised him. Probably not. He looked the furthest thing in the world from a street urchin right now. He'd miss their stickfights. He hadn't even been allowed to go out and play with them for this last month, subjected instead to interminable lectures on history and etiquette that had gone in one ear and out the other. Which meant that that victory over Ryo had been his last. He highly doubted he would be allowed to train as a swordsman when he was in the "care" of the World Government. They would hardly let a hostage become dangerous to them, even if they persisted in the pretence that he was an "honoured guest".

"Your Royal Highness." He was jolted out of his musings when the Tenryuubito spoke. "Come. The ship awaits us."

Zoro swallowed. So this was it, then. He glanced at his father and mother. His father looked stonily calm, as always, but his mother's sadness was written all over her face. Zoro said nothing, made no gesture. Their goodbyes had already been said within the privacy of the castle, and his father had instructed him to show no weakness in front of the Tenryuubito.

Well, he certainly wasn't ___weak_! He'd show them! That thought, and that thought alone, was all that prevented him from bursting into tears as he walked up the gangplank to the smaller ship that would carry them out to the flagship.

"Hey, isn't that Zoro?" He stiffened as he heard a familiar voice shout out.

_Ryo!_

"That's not the prince! That's our friend!"

"Your Royal Highness?" the man accompanying him asked, giving him a quizzical look, as those around the boys shushed them into silence.

"It's nothing. They've mistaken me for someone else," Zoro replied, and walked on.

He was telling the truth, he told himself. They had. They truly had.

**.**

He stayed on the stern of the Tenryuubito ship for a while, watching his kingdom, the town, and all the people in it, shrink into a tiny speck on the horizon. He'd never felt so thoroughly alone. Though he'd always been on uneasy terms with the royal guard, what with all his breaking into and out of the castle, he desperately wished that he had one of them at least to accompany him, a face from home. But that request had been abruptly denied. They would take him, and only him.

"Your Royal Highness." He turned to see that it was the man from earlier. "Saint Purliss will see you now."

"Saint Purliss?" Zoro's brow furrowed. "I thought ___you _were Saint Purliss." Maybe he should have paid better attention just now...

The man looked horrified. "Me, Your Royal Highness? I could never presume to such heights! I am but a mere servant. My name is Kilnore." Zoro frowned. A mere servant, sitting at an equal place with his father, a king?

"You had better cleanse yourself before going to see Saint Purliss," Kilnore decided, giving Zoro a critical look.

"But I already had a bath before the ceremony," Zoro objected.

"Yes, but you are going to meet a World Noble," Kilnore said, as if that explained everything. "Come."

"No. Have him come to see ___me_. I'll be in my room."

"I'm sorry, Your Royal Highness, I don't think you understand." Kilnore was trying to look amused, and failing utterly. "He's a ___World Noble_. Now, when you enter the room, you will bow, and..."

"I won't. I'm a prince. I bow down to no one. My father said so."

"Yes, yes, but clearly he meant, to no one ___but _a World Noble." Kilnore was starting to look impatient, but also a mite fearful.

"Are you saying my father lied?" Zoro demanded, summoning every ounce of princely indignation he could muster.

"I am saying that since he's been holed up in the backwaters of East Blue, he probably isn't sensible to the prevailing etiquette in the centre of civilisation," Kilnore snapped. "___Everyone _bows to the Tenryuubito. If even the Fleet Admiral himself were here, he'd have to bow too."

"Now, now, what's all this racket?" They were interrupted by a third voice, that carried all the commanding assurance of Zoro's father's voice, but was reedy where Jiro's was strident, self-satisfied where Jiro was neither overbearing nor humble. "Kilnore! Are we away from that horrible country yet? All those ghastly commoners, actually daring to come within twenty yards of their king. It's an outrage! I'm devilish glad I didn't go ashore! Hmm?"

Saint Purliss halted and blinked out of two beady little eyes, weirdly distorted by the glass bubble that surrounded his features, not helped by the folds of fat that padded his cheeks. He gaped at Zoro, who gaped in turn at the Tenryuubito's means of locomotion - a chained and utterly miserable-looking slave. Zoro roused himself from his stupor when he caught a kneeling Kilnore making frantic gestures at him to bow, and looked around to find himself the only person standing.

Yes, he decided as he wondered what to do next, maybe he really ___should _have paid more attention in etiquette class.

**

* * *

A/N:** Brownie points to people who get references to lines spoken in the actual manga...as always, I very much enjoy hearing your thoughts, whether positive or otherwise, either on the writing or on my version of Zoro's past. Thank you for all the kind reviews and feedback you've already sent my way!


	13. Adventures of young Zoro part 2, T

**The second in a four-parter, and it follows directly from the preceding fic, so please read that first if you haven't already.**

******Title: **The Adventures of young Roronoa Zoro (Part 2)  
******Theme: **Prince  
******Claim: **Zoro  
******Words:** 3419  
******Rating:** T  
******Warnings: **Pre-canon Zoro, ill treatment of a young child, deus ex machina, blah blah blah.  
******Disclaimers: **I don't own One Piece.

* * *

Saint Purliss' shock soon morphed into what Zoro supposed was the Tenryuubito version of princely indignation, his piggy little eyes narrowing dangerously at Zoro. "What is the meaning of this insolence? You dare to keep your head raised before a World Noble?"

"I deeply apologise on the boy's behalf, Saint Purliss!" Kilnore said frantically. He crawled over to Zoro, grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and tried to force him into a bow, but Zoro would have none of it.

"I ___won't_!" He scrambled beyond Kilnore's reach and glared at the Tenryuubito, arms crossed in defiance. "Father said I wouldn't ever have to bow down to anyone. Not even you."

"I apologise on the child's behalf, Saint Purliss! He is merely ill-instructed..."

"Don't apologise for me! I haven't done anything wrong!" Zoro cut Kilnore off.

"Don't you realise what you're doing, Your Royal Highness? To go against the blood of this world's creators is to condemn yourself to death! Please, just bow!"

"This is your last chance, boy," Saint Purliss snarled.

This time, Zoro didn't even bother to think. "I'd rather ___die_."

The gasps that greeted his declaration were followed by an uneasy silence, broken when Saint Purliss snapped the order: "What are you lot are waiting for? I want him down on his knees!"

"Yes, sir!" his men responded obediently, and promptly swarmed around Zoro.

"Leggo of me! Ow! You ___brutes_! Pick on someone your own size, you bullies!" Despite his struggles, Zoro was inevitably overwhelmed, and he soon found himself kneeling before the Tenryuubito. "Dammit! Let me go!" he tried again, but with one man pinning down each limb, he was completely helpless.

Saint Purliss gazed at Zoro with malicious satisfaction. "What do you think, Kilnore?"

"My lord?" Kilnore sounded shaken.

"What should I do with this young whippersnapper? Have him strung up and hanged?"

"Oh, but, my lord, the treaty..." Kilnore stammered.

"What about the treaty?" Saint Purliss said, a touch of menace lacing his words.

"I mean, if that is your desire, you are perfectly within your rights to order his death, my lord..." Kilnore backtracked rapidly.

"Perhaps I will do that," Saint Purliss pondered. "Or perhaps I will make him a slave. How much do you think he will fetch at the Auction House on Sabaody?"

"The minimum bid would be 500,000 beli, my lord, but being of royal blood himself, he would certainly fetch many times that..."

"Yes, I can definitely think of several people who would enjoy having a little princeling pet to play with," Saint Purliss smiled toothily at Zoro. "Or perhaps I myself..."

"You can't do that to people! Let me go! My father will hear of this!" Zoro yelled, using for the first time in his life the worst threat in his arsenal.

"Purhahahaha!" Saint Purliss chortled. "Your father? He is a mere vassal of the World Government, far beneath me in rank. Nothing he can say will have ___any _bearing on my actions."

"What gives you the right...!"

"The same thing that gives you the right to lord it over your own people - the blood running through your veins."

"We don't lord it over our people! Would I even be here if I was allowed to?" Zoro raged, all his resentment at having to become a hostage for his kingdom in the first place finally bursting its dam and rising to the surface.

"Lower your voice! Speak respectfully to Saint Purliss!" The man holding his right arm gave him a cuff on the ear.

"Ow! Leave me alone!" Zoro said sulkily. He looked up and met the Tenryuubito's eyes once more, only to find them boring into him calculatingly, almost suspiciously. "What's your problem?" he spat, knowing he was just inviting more blows to his head but unable to help himself.

Any intended reprimand was cut off by Saint Purliss saying thoughtfully, "That's true. If you really were a royal prince, and the only heir to your kingdom's throne, would your parents ever allow you to come as a hostage?"

"Huh?"

"There was some commotion on the docks before you left, so I hear. Kilnore, what was it all about?"

"There was a boy in the crowd, sir, who said he wasn't the prince, but his friend."

"A commoner, then?" Saint Purliss looked disgusted.

"So what? Yes, I played with the other boys. Yes, I actually breathed the same air as my people. You have a problem with that?"

Saint Purliss ignored Zoro's outburst, instead nudging his slave forward and instructing the two men holding Zoro by the arms: "Let me see his hands." Zoro suppressed a hiss of pain as they twisted his wrists roughly to bare his palms for the World Noble's inspection. "As I thought," he said grimly. "These are not the hands of a prince."

Zoro looked down at his hands, callused and scratched from the rough-and-tumble activities he'd participated in with his friends. Even the past month of forced inactivity hadn't been enough to erase the evidence. "Just because I actually ___played_...?"

"And this...___moss _growing on his head."

"It's ___hair_!"

"King Jiro, what colour is his hair?"

"Black, my lord," Kilnore replied.

"And the boy's ___supposed _mother?"

"What d'you mean, s_upposed_?" Zoro asked indignantly.

"Blond, my lord. Do you mean to say...?"

"Yes," Saint Purliss said grimly. "You've allowed yourself to be tricked, Kilnore. You've let yourself be taken in by a substitute, while the ___real _prince stays safe within his own country."

This was so preposterous Zoro could only splutter incoherently for a few moments before managing a weak "that's not true!"

"Where's that treaty?" Saint Purliss asked, completely ignoring Zoro's objection.

"I'll fetch it, my lord," Kilnore stammered, and hurried off. He was back within a few moments, offering up the piece of parchment with two trembling hands.

The World Noble didn't even bother to read it. "Tear it up," he ordered.

"But...my lord..." Kilnore began, but the Tenryuubito fixed with a sharp glare.

"A treaty entered into in bad faith isn't worth the parchment it's written on, is it, Kilnore?"

"But...my mission was to get the treaty signed and the prince delivered to Goa. If I fail..."

"You have already failed, Kilnore. You brought an impostor on board instead of the prince."

"I'm not an impostor!"

"Tear - it - up."

Kilnore hung his head. "Yes, my lord."

"DON'T!" Zoro yelled, appalled, as he watched the document he'd traded his life for was shredded away.

"Now, bring me a Den-Den Mushi. We can't let them get away with this trickery." A Den-Den Mushi was duly brought. "Get me the nearest Marine fleet."

As Kilnore hastened to make the connection, Zoro asked warily, "Why are you calling them?"

"I'm going to have a fleet sent to your country to teach your king how not to deal with a World Noble."

"You mean...attack us?" Zoro processed the implications of the Tenryuubito's threat. ___But that was the whole point of signing the treaty!__  
_  
"My lord, Marine Base E7 on the line." Kilnore held up the receiver.

___That's why I'm in this mess in the first place!__  
_  
"Marine Base E7? This is Saint Purliss speaking!" the World Noble barked in his most self-important tone.

___I can't let this happen! _With a strength born of sheer desperation, Zoro wrenched his right hand free of the guard's grip and grabbed his sword out of the hilt at the man's waist, swinging it around in a wide arc that left the four around him scrambling for cover.

His hands closed around the hilt, the feeling somehow disturbingly foreign yet comfortingly familiar. A rush of power coursed through him. ___I know how to use this. _Or perhaps more to the point, he knew how to make it look like he knew how to use it.

"Get him!" Saint Purliss roared, pulling out a gun, as Zoro darted towards him, sword at the ready. Just as Zoro had anticipated, everyone dropped _everything_to come to their master's aid, including the Den-Den Mushi.

He abandoned the feint and dove for it as it fell from Kilnore's hands, narrowly avoiding the point-blank shot from the World Noble's gun as he did so. He heard a shrill cry of pain behind him, but he didn't care.

"Hello? Hello? My lord, there appears to be some kind of disturbance on your end - " The transmission was abruptly cut off as Zoro yanked the receiver off the telephonic snail. Goal met, he reached once more for the sword, only to see a heavy boot smash down against the blade. He launched himself backwards before the guard's other boot could stamp down on his hand, and found himself back-to-back with the Tenryuubito and his slave. The guard's eyes widened at his proximity to their master and grabbed a handful of his tunic to wrench him away. Zoro scrambled for something, anything to hold onto. His hand found the tube that connected the breathing apparatus on the Tenryuubito's back to the bubble on his head.

They heard a snap, and then a faint hiss of escaping air.

Pandemonium broke out.

Zoro was roughly thrown aside, pinned down and his hands cuffed in front of himself. He watched with a sort of detached fascination as Saint Purliss discovered the curious fact that the air everyone else breathed was not in any way toxic to him.

Nevertheless, Saint Purliss was shaking with anger when everything had calmed down and Zoro was hauled to his feet once more to face him. "How dare you. How _dare_ you! What have you got to say for yourself?"

Zoro looked at the length of tube still in his hand. "Whoops?" he offered.

"String him up! I want him flogged till he begs for mercy!" the World Noble ordered.

"Yes, my lord!" his men barked, bending to their task with alacrity, eager to divert Saint Purliss' wrath onto someone else, slipping a rope through Zoro's handcuffs and looping it over a yardarm.

Zoro made no protest. He felt suddenly exhausted and overwhelmed, the reckless euphoria fading fast against his disappointment at not having even gotten a single sword attack in on the Tenryuubito. ___Then again, stabbing him from the back would have been pretty cowardly...__  
_  
"Done, sir!" the men reported.

"Bring me another Den-Den Mushi! You can wriggle up there while you listen to me give the order for your kingdom to be destroyed, boy."

"Er, my lord?" A Marine shuffled forward with obvious reluctance, his head cautiously bowed now that he'd seen the consequences of not doing so.

"Who are you?" Saint Purliss snapped.

"The communications officer, sir. That was the only Den-Den Mushi we had capable of transmitting at a distance that will reach any other Marine base, and it will take at least a few days to reattach the transmitter to the Den-Den Mushi. They're sensitive creatures, sir." The Marine was visibly trembling as he explained the situation.

"Imbeciles! I'm served by a load of imbeciles!" Saint Purliss raised his gun once more and, before everyone's horrified eyes, shot the man in the chest.

"My lord! That's one of my men!" The ship's captain, who had let the Tenryuubito's men run the show until now, stepped forward. "I cannot...allow..." he gulped as Saint Purliss's face darkened with anger.

"Do you want to be strung up next to that boy?"

"N-no, my lord," the captain swallowed hard, but gathered his courage and pressed on. "But still, I cannot allow you to harm my men..." Another shot pierced the air, and this time it was the captain's turn to hit the deck, red spreading across his dress whites.

"Who else wishes to interfere with the descendants of this world's creators?"

Everyone glanced nervously at the gun Saint Purliss was waving around, and at the captain's twitching body, and said nothing.

"You know," Zoro contributed from his vantage point, "that was probably a bad idea."

"You still dare to speak, boy?"

"You'll probably need him now that you're gonna be attacked by pirates." He nodded towards the distant ship flying its Jolly Roger, which had gone unreported in all the commotion.

"It's the Red-Haired Pirates!" someone shouted, recognising the symbol. "They're the worst pirates in East Blue!"

Saint Purliss turned a glare on Zoro. "I suppose your kingdom is now in league with pirates! You planned all this!"

"We didn't! Pirates are ___scum _who attack our villages! Why would we do a thing like that!"

Saint Purliss snorted disbelievingly, then took charge of the situation, ordering, "Capture the pirates! I want them them strung up to be whipped next to this boy! Fire your cannons at them!"

"But sir, they're not yet within firing range!"

"Fire them anyway!"

"Y-Y-Y-Yes, sir!"

Apart from the chafing in his wrists, Zoro was glad to have such a good view of the proceedings. He watched, highly entertained, as the cannonballs arced through the air and fell well short of the pirate ship.

"Saint Purliss, please leave this to the Marines," Kilnore pleaded. "Please go back to your cabin, where you will be safe!"

"Nonsense, Kilnore!" Saint Purliss dismissed his concerns. "I can direct this battle as well as this incompetent imbecile can!" Zoro winced as the Tenryuubito kicked the downed captain in the stomach. "Fire another volley!"

Zoro watched the Marines exchange nervous, hesitant glances, then proceed to obey the foolish instructions. They loaded and discharged several rounds uselessly, but now the pirate ship was getting close to where the cannonballs were splashing into the sea. The next barrage of cannonfire was aimed squarely at the ship.

"Purhahaha! Take that, pirates!" Saint Purliss rejoiced.

But instead of exploding, the cannonballs seemed to disintegrate in mid-air, leaving the pirate ship intact.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa - " the Tenryuubito's eyes bugged out at the sight.

"It didn't work!" Zoro heard the cries of consternation from the crew.

"What happened?" Saint Purliss demanded. "You imbeciles! You did something to the cannonballs, didn't you!"

"It wasn't them! It's a ___swordsman_!" Zoro squirmed in excitement. "There's a swordsman standing on the prow and he just ___sliced_through all of them!"

"Fire another round!" Saint Purliss ordered, but it met the same fate of the one before.

"___Awesome_," Zoro breathed, but he seemed to be the only one who felt that way. All around him, Marines and Tenryuubito alike were panicking.

"It's the work of the devil!" someone yelled.

"Captain! Please! What do we do now?" A Marine was bent over the body of the captain, begging for help.

Saint Purliss stared at the seemingly invincible pirate ship in disbelief, then tugged on the reins of his slave and turned him towards the inner quarters of the ship. "We're taking cover," he announced to his entourage. He raised his voice and addressed the crew. "Fire on the pirate ship until it's destroyed! If the pirates board, cut them down! Protect my life at all costs!" He urged his slave on, and his men all disappeared below deck with him, leaving the Marines standing on deck, slack-jawed and leaderless, even as the pirate ship advanced perilously close. Zoro licked his lips in anticipation of seeing a real swordfight up close.

Suddenly he felt a sawing at his bonds, and he fell to the deck. He looked around to see Kilnore and two of the guards. "Hey, what are you doing?" he asked, as they picked him up and held him firmly.

"Saint Purliss' orders," Kilnore replied tersely. "Carry him below decks, to the brig."

"What? But I wanted to watch the battle!" Zoro protested.

"You're going to be put to death along with all the slaves. Saint Purliss doesn't want to risk you getting freed by the pirates," Kilnore said sadly.

"That's not _fair_!"

"Be quiet, boy!" Kilnore snapped. "None of this would have happened if you'd just bowed!"

"None of this would have happened if that Tenryuubito guy wasn't such a stuck-up ass! Ow!" Zoro was given another cuff on the ear. He wriggled and struggled but he was no more successful in freeing himself this time than the last. They carried him into the depths of the ship and threw him into the brig. He was horrified to see that it was already fully occupied, with row upon row of miserable-looking collared slaves. He was tossed into their midst, somebody's lap breaking his fall.

"Use the gas. Saint Purliss's orders," Kilnore added, when the two men gave him a surprised look. "It's retaliation for the breathing tube incident." They nodded in understanding and turned away to prepare something.

"Hey! Wait a minute! You're going to get captured anyway! You don't have to follow his orders!" Zoro pointed out. A bump rocked the ship, confirming that the pirates had pulled up alongside and were preparing to board.

"I'm going to go back and talk to the pirates, make sure they know just who they're attacking. Once they find out it's a Tenryuubito, they'll turn tail and flee," Kilnore explained. "And even if they don't, I am a servant of the Tenryuubito. I must obey their orders."

"Even if they're idiotic?" Zoro had seen enough of those today.

"Even if they're idiotic," Kilnore confirmed. "Goodbye, Your Royal Highness. I am sorry it came to this." He walked away. The two guards behind him tossed two small objects into the room, then slammed the door shut and turned the key in the lock. The brig plunged back into darkness.

"What're those things they just threw inside?" Zoro asked.

"Must be gas grenades," the man whose lap he happened to be sprawled across replied. "We'll suffocate to death." On cue, the people closest to the grenades began to cough. Zoro smelt a horrible smell, felt his lungs constrict, and realised deep inside that they were all going to die.

___This is all my fault! _He picked himself up and ran to the door, throwing himself against it in an effort to break it open.

"Forget it, kid. It would take ten men to bash that door down," a man sitting by the door said.

"But there are more than ten men in here! Why don't you all help?"

"What's the point?" the man shrugged. "We were doomed the moment we became slaves. Might as well die here rather than continue to live in slavery."

"But there are pirates up there, there's a swordsman too! They'll free you, but you need to survive first!"

"You heard what that guy said. The pirates will turn tail once they know what they're up against."

"They won't! I'm sure they won't!" Zoro clung to the one shred of hope he had left. "Listen!" It was hard to, over the growing coughing, but the sounds of battle could be distantly heard above them. "They're fighting! They didn't run! Let's fight too!" But by now everyone was coughing and wheezing, and made no reply.

"Fine! If you won't fight, I will!" Zoro bashed his shoulder against the door a few more times. ___If only I were stronger! _He yelled at the top of his aching lungs. ___Please! I don't want to be the one who killed them! _Damn handcuffs...maybe if he didn't have them on, he could hammer on the doors that much louder. ___If only I had a sword... _He tried to pull his wrists out of the handcuffs, wondering how they would fit on an adult if they were small even for a boy's hands. ___If only my hands weren't there... _Well, there was a plan.

"What the hell d'you think you're doing, kid?" the man next to him wheezed, hearing his tiny whimpers of pain.

"I'm gonna get out of these things and get everyone out of here." Zoro grit his teeth against his wrists' protests and began to saw harder.

"Ha...haha...that's a good one, kid. Just...spend your last moments in peace, will ya?"

"Shut up! I won't give up!" But Zoro did have to give up on Plan A eventually with his discovery that bone was far more durable than he thought. He slammed both fists against the door, screaming for help between his coughs. Gradually, though, his fists and voice lost their volume, and he felt the fight seep out of his body along with the oxygen.

___We're really going to die.  
__  
____I was weak._

___I killed them with my pride._

"I'm sorry..."

Zoro slumped against the door, all energy gone.

A key rattled in the lock, and the door swung open. Zoro fell against the legs of a tall figure, and in the last seconds of consciousness he dimly registered a mysterious figure wrapped in a black cloak. "Please...I killed them..."

"Easy, boy. I heard you," the cloaked man said, scooping him up in his arms.

But by then Zoro was no longer awake to hear.

* * *

**A/N:** I realise this chapter may be a bit boring, but it's necessary set-up, I promise...uh, anyway, let me know what you think of it! I am also open to concrit! Thank you for reading.

ETA: Edited slightly, thanks to Velkyn Karma's pointing out a punctuation error. Thank you!


	14. Adventures of young Zoro part 3, Kplus

******Title:**The Adventures of young Roronoa Zoro (Part 3)  
******Theme:**Prince  
******Claim:**Zoro  
******Words: **2276  
******Rating:** K+  
******Warnings:**Pre-canon Zoro, non-canonical randomness. Spoilers for Chapter ~589, possibly. Third in a series.  
******Disclaimers:**I don't own One Piece.

* * *

___After the battle_

* * *

"Oi!" the captain of the Red-Haired Pirates called out as a man clad in a long hooded cloak strode by him. "Stop stomping around and brooding and have something to drink!"

"I wish I could have your sense of irresponsibility," the man replied, "but I have to see to the slaves."

"Doc'll take care of them!" Shanks replied cheerfully. "Besides, the Tenryuubito drink uncommonly good wine. Here."

Reluctantly, the man took the bottle offered. "What will you do with this ship?"

"You can have it, with our compliments. I'll be glad to get rid of you freeloaders," Shanks replied airily. "Besides, it has a dragon for a figurehead. Fitting."

The man inclined his head. "You have our thanks for your valuable contribution to our cause."

"You're more than welcome. What would I do with a ship that big, anyway?"

"True."

There was a pause, before Shanks inquired, "What do you plan to do with your captives?"

"Some of them will doubtless have to be killed," the man said dispassionately. "The Tenryuubito is already dead, which removes one obstacle. There's also the man named Kilnore - the World Government negotiator - whom we'll be interrogating. He probably knows a lot of interesting information. The Marines can choose to be executed or to join us - we need some to man the ship. The slaves, of course, will be given a choice of joining us or being relocated."

"You sound quite bloodthirsty, my friend. But I know you will be fair."

"And what will ___you _do, with your princely charge?" The cloaked head nodded in the direction of Shanks' cabin on the adjacent ship.

"My charge, hmm? I'm surprised you didn't want him."

"I have no love for the royalty or nobility of this world, but his kingdom happens to be one of the few that actually possesses a just king. And from what I have heard, it is clear he has taken after his father."

"Will his kingdom possess a king much longer?"

"Probably not, but that isn't something you or I can do anything about at this moment."

Shanks nodded. "Well! We'll drop him off where he chooses, I suppose. He's too young for a life of piracy. Especially not on the Grand Line."

"Of course. You plan to head there immediately?"

"The Marines will be after our heads once they find out about the Tenryuubito. We'll have to make a run for it. For that matter, what about you and this ship? It's a bit big to hide in East Blue," Shanks waved his hand at the Marine vessel, so many times the size of his own.

"I plan to take it to the one place they won't expect. Goa."

"Goa? Into the _dragons' den_? Oh, well, since it's you, why not?"

"Why not, indeed? I suspect we will find many more recruits to our cause there."

"This is where we part ways, then."

"Good luck on the Grand Line."

"Good luck in Goa. You'll need it more than me," Shanks laughed. He held out his bottle. "To freedom," he toasted.

A faint smile appeared on the man's tattooed face. "To freedom," he echoed, and drank.

"Cap'n!" The call came from Shanks' own ship.

"Yeah, Yasopp?"

"The boy's awake. Not being very cooperative, but he seems lively enough. I told him a bit about what happened."

"What did he say?"

"He didn't actually ___say _anything. Apparently doesn't like the look of us pirates. But I could tell he was disappointed at not getting a crack at the Tenryuubito himself. Bloodthirsty little devil. But he seemed really glad to know the slaves were all right."

"All right, I'll talk to him. Coming?" Shanks looked towards Dragon.

"I'll be outside."

"Suit yourself. Come on, Benn." Shanks and Benn jumped across, and entered the captain's cabin.

"Hello there," Shanks greeted Zoro cheerily. "My name's Shanks, I'm the captain of the pirate crew that attacked your ship."

When Zoro only pouted in response, Shanks raised an eyebrow. "Hey, the way I heard it, we came in the nick of time to save your hide from a real tanning. Least you could do is be friendly."

"But you're ___pirates_," Zoro said reluctantly.

"So what if we're pirates? Pirates are some of the friendliest people around."

"Pirates are _s____cum_. Father says so."

"Why's that?"

"Pirates come and attack our coastline every few months. They steal from our people and hurt them. They're bad guys."

"Ah. Well, there's pirates, and then there's pirates," Shanks said wisely. "And you're lucky _these_ pirates happened to be delayed in East Blue long enough to rescue you from that mess you'd gotten yourself into."

"I guess," Zoro admitted. He glanced at Shanks' sword, his enthusiasm overcoming his reservations. "You're the swordsman, right? The one who sliced through all those cannonballs? You know, you're really strong! Even though...you have only one arm," he noticed, slightly belatedly.

"So I've been told," Shanks chuckled. "And ___you're _one to talk. You almost sawed your own hands off, trying to get out of those handcuffs! Only thing _I_ can't do is use two-handed styles. If you'd persisted, you wouldn't be able to use any sword style at all."

Zoro scowled, but his curiosity was piqued. "There are two-handed sword styles?"

"That's right."

"Wow! Can I learn them?"

Shanks chuckled. "Is that your dream, then? To become a swordsman?"

"Not just any swordsman. The world's greatest swordsman! I'll become so strong, I'll be able to protect my country even from bullies like the Tenryuubito!" Zoro resolved on the spot.

"World's greatest swordsman, eh?" Shanks laughed. "Wonder what Mihawk will make of this one. Eh, Benn?"

Zoro turned to look at the tall, imposing figure of the Red-Haired Pirates' first mate, who had been listening quietly all this while. "I think he would say that's quite an ambition," Benn said. "But you do realise that means never returning home again?"

Zoro's jaw dropped at Benn's pronouncement. "Huh? How come?"

"The world currently thinks young Prince Zoro is dead, killed by pirates. If you suddenly turn up alive, you'll have a lot to answer for everything that's happened," Benn explained. "They ___may _let you off if you give them a good enough story, but you will almost certainly be taken hostage again, and never be trained as a swordsman. The alternative is to take advantage of the situation, let the world continue thinking you're dead, and free yourself to pursue your dream."

Zoro looked down at his injured wrists. "Father gave me a choice once, between my country and my future. I chose my country back then. Maybe I should try going the other way this time...?" He ended off on a tentative note and looked appealingly at the pirates, as if begging for guidance.

They regarded the nine-year-old with sympathy. "It's your life, and your own choice to make. But in all honesty, I cannot say it's a bad one," Benn offered, and Shanks nodded in agreement. Zoro's shoulders slumped in relief.

"Do you...do you think I should let my parents know?"

"That's hard to say. Any communication we send will almost certainly be intercepted," was Benn's opinion. "And will be far more trouble than it's worth."

"If you truly wish to pursue your dream, you will have to leave your entire life behind. The path to becoming world's greatest swordsman is hard enough without the World Government constantly on your tail," Shanks advised.

A look of sadness crossed Zoro's face, but then his expression hardened and he squared his shoulders. "Okay. I understand."

"Good. Now, for what will happen next. We can drop you off at a dojo that happens to be on the way."

"Huh?" Zoro's jaw dropped. "You mean you won't train me yourself?"

"A pirate ship's no place for a kid, kid. Besides, didn't you say you wanted to learn two-handed sword styles?"

"Not to mention the Marines are going to come after us soon, for killing a Tenryuubito. Which means we'll have to head off to the Grand Line, which is even less a place for a kid," Benn added.

"I know the master of this dojo personally," Shanks reassured Zoro, seeing the boy's lost look. "I challenged him myself, but it came to a draw. That was back when I had two arms, too. Besides, Koshiro knows far better than me how to train someone else to be a great swordsman."

"Oh. Okay, I guess," Zoro said, but he still looked slightly forlorn.

"Hey, we're pirate scum, remember?" Shanks said lightly, clapping the boy on the back. "And Koshiro's a good man. He'll take good care of you, if you're willing to work hard."

"Of course I'll work hard!" Zoro looked a bit happier at the reassurance.

"Then you should be fine. Now...we'd better see about getting you a change of clothes. You can't go parading around in those princely robes. And you should choose a different name, too."

"A different name?" Zoro blinked. But he was Zoro. Always had been. Always would be.

"He can probably keep the 'Zoro'. It's a common enough name," Benn said. "D'you have a surname, back home?"

"Surname?" Zoro scratched his head.

"Yes. Like my name, Benn Beckman."

"All anyone's ever called me is 'Zoro'. Or 'Prince Zoro'. 'Your Highness' sometimes." Zoro still looked puzzled.

"'Mr. Prince'? That's quite the name." Shanks guffawed. "Not to mention it would give you away instantly. Maybe you should try a different surname."

"In that case...how about the name of a great swordsman?" Zoro asked eagerly.

"A great swordsman, huh? Let me think about it." Shanks mused for a moment. "What about 'Roronoa', after Roronoa Francesco? He was one of the greatest of all swordsmen."

"Roronoa...Zoro." Zoro rolled it around his tongue as if tasting it. He grinned. "I like it!"

"Good. Well then, Roronoa Zoro, why don't you go to bed? It'll take a few days for us to reach your dojo. If you see Yasopp – the curly-haired sniper dude from before – let him know to make a new set of clothes for you, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks!" Zoro said eagerly. He jumped off the chair and went to the door, then paused. "You know, for pirate scum, you guys are pretty nice!" He flashed them a grin and ran away, his noisy exit contrasting with the noiseless entry of their eavesdropper.

"So, we're headed the same way after all," he commented.

"Looks like it. It _is_ on the way," Shanks shrugged.

"Roronoa Zoro, hmm?" The man's hooded, thoughtful gaze swung towards the door. "You gave him good advice. Koshiro will bring him up well."

The surprised look on Shanks' face was quickly erased. "'Course he will. Like the name?"

"Mm," came a non-committal murmur.

"Think he'll be pissed when he finds out that Roronoa Francesco was a great pirate as well as a great swordsman?" Shanks asked.

"___Yep_," Benn replied.

A flicker of a smile lit up the face beneath the cloak, and vanished.

**.**

They landed at the small port town three days later. Shanks and his crew went ashore to restock their supplies for a run to the Grand Line, and bade Zoro farewell at the edge of the village. "Okay, kid, this is as far as we go," Shanks said. "The dojo's just over that hill, an hour away. Think you can find it on your own?"

"Of course I can!" Zoro bristled.

"You have the letter of introduction I gave you?"

Zoro patted his pocket. "Yep."

"Good." Shanks stood back and looked at his erstwhile charge, and burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Zoro asked indignantly.

"Nothing, just that in that get-up you look like a real country boy."

Zoro looked down at the simple white shirt and the blue pants held up by little more than a piece of rope. "Yeah, I guess so," he admitted. "I prefer these clothes to those princely ones I used to have to wear, though. Mrrrmmmfff!" He spluttered as Shanks shoved a leafstalk into his mouth. "What's this for?"

"To complete the look," Shanks chortled. "_And _to shut you up." Zoro frowned questioningly, and Shanks reminded him, "From now on, Zoro, you were never a prince. You never met us, you never saw our ships, you know nothing about the Tenryuubito."

Zoro nodded solemnly. "I understand."

"Okay. Off with you now. Go become the greatest swordsman in the world."

"Thanks for everything!" Zoro waved and ran off, as the rest of the men yelled various goodbyes and encouragements.

Benn caught Zoro before he could go ___too _far in the wrong direction.

"Other way, Zoro. Hill. Up."

"Oh, right." Zoro reversed his course and jogged off.

"You sure he'll ever find it?" Benn asked, brow furrowing.

"A week's delay won't hurt him," Shanks chuckled. "Come on, we're off! To the Grand Line!"

"Yeah!"

**.**

It did take a lot longer than an hour, but Zoro finally arrived at the dojo - fortunately the only one in Shimotsuki Village - to hear the sounds of sword practice in progress. He took a cautious peek into the dojo and saw thirty boys practising katas, each was holding a bamboo shinai, more sophisticated-looking than the "swords" he and his friends had improvised, but still...that was kind of like stick-fighting, wasn't it?

He balled up the letter of introduction in his pocket, and declared his challenge.

Two minutes later, he found himself on his back, a bright red shinai mark gracing his forehead, and realised two things. One, that he'd just come face-to-face with the next big challenge of his life. Two, that the road to becoming world's greatest swordsman would be a very, very long one indeed.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This was rewritten after Chapter 589 came out, to make it sync up a little better with canon. I hope it makes sense! Bonus points for spotting references to canonical lines and events :-) One more left to go in this "arc", so let me know what you think! Concrit is always welcome.


	15. Adventures of young Zoro part 4, Kplus

**Fourth of a series.**

**Title:** The Adventures of young Roronoa Zoro (Part 4)  
**Theme:** Rebel  
**Claim:** Zoro  
**Words:** 1534  
**Rating:** K+  
**Warnings:** Unsubstantiated theories about Zoro's past.  
**Disclaimers:** I don't own One Piece.

* * *

Zoro's fists clenched as he watched the figures in the camp below toil under the threat of the whip. The very fact that they were slaves for the World Government was disturbing enough, but the thought that some of them might actually be his people made his blood boil. And the knowledge that it was all his fault made the path ahead clear.

He laid a hand on his katana and backed away from the edge of the cliff, stiffening when he sensed a presence behind him. He glanced backwards and found himself face-to-face with the head of a bear. He blinked.

It took only a moment for him to realise that it was only a piece of headgear, but one moment of surprise was enough advantage for two high-ranking members of the Revolutionary Army. They emerged triumphant from the short but fierce scuffle, and carried off their captive to see their leader.

**.**

"Dragon. We caught this man skulking around the camp," Bear-head said, tossing Zoro unceremoniously onto the ground in front of the leader of the Revolutionary Army, arms and legs tightly pinioned to prevent him from escaping. And looking at his two best men, Dragon could understand why - they looked decidedly worse for wear after their efforts at subduing the man.

"Roronoa Zoro," Bear-head reported. "Eighteen years old. Self-styled 'Pirate Hunter'..."

"I've never called myself that," Zoro immediately objected.

"Fine. _Bounty_ hunter and swordsman, practitioner of the Santoryuu style. His swords." Bear-head handed them over to Dragon, who glanced at them briefly and placed them on the table next to him.

"Give those back!" Zoro protested.

"Usually travels around with two bounty hunters named Johnny and Yosaku," Bear-head continued reporting in his bland voice, ignoring Zoro's demand. "Did you travel here with them?"

"No, I'm alone," Zoro replied sullenly.

"Why is that?" Dragon asked.

"What I'm here to do has nothing to do with them." Zoro tried desperately to wriggle out of his bonds, but he soon realised that these Revolutionaries knew how to tie a knot. Either he would need a blade to slice through the ropes, or the ropes would slice through _him_.

"What you're here to do? Are you here to take my head, perhaps?" Dragon asked, an ominous smile on his lips.

"No," Zoro snapped. "_Yes_," he changed his mind a moment later.

Dragon merely raised an eyebrow. "I should have thought than an exiled prince would have learned to lie with a straight face, to have survived all these years on the run."

There was a moment of silence as Zoro's eyes widened in horror. "How the hell did you..."

"We do keep our eyes and ears open, Roronoa Zoro," Dragon replied to Zoro's unfinished question. "And that green hair _is_ distinctive."

"You're even better-informed than the Marines," Zoro muttered with a grudging respect.

"Tell me, why does a man with a grudge against the World Government turn bounty hunter?"

"Needed the money to survive," Zoro shrugged. "Besides, some crimes are crimes no matter who's in charge."

"Fair enough."

"And someone told me once, becoming World's Greatest Swordsman was hard enough without the World Government on my tail. That was before I found out..." His fists clenched as he remembered his shock at finally finding his way home after all those years, only to find it ruined and empty.

"Which is why you decided to come here, invade the camp and free the slaves. In other words, to get in the way of our mission." Dragon eyed Zoro for a moment, then offered, "Unless you wish to join in our attack. You look like a decent enough fighter."

"I've always fought my battles alone," Zoro muttered rebelliously.

"It's dangerous to ask this man to join you, Dragon," Bear-head interjected. "Remember, this is the man who, when Baroque Works invited him to join their ranks, demanded to be head of the organisation and killed the recruiter when he refused."

"Ah, but he is hardly in any position to make demands at the moment, are you, Roronoa? So, what do you say? Will you join our cause?"

"What if I say no?"

"You _do_ want this sword back, don't you?" Dragon asked, a mocking smile on his face as he picked up the white-hilted sword and held it out to Zoro.

"You're the devil himself!" Zoro exclaimed through clenched teeth.

Dragon laughed, his chuckle ominous, sending shivers up every spine, but then his tattooed face turned serious. "This isn't the only place where your former subjects are being held. Even if you manage to free the people here, there are other slave camps scattered across East Blue and the rest of the world. Would _you_ dedicate your life to freeing them?"

Zoro hesitated, his eyes automatically moving to the white katana in Dragon's hands, the sword that had once been Kuina's. Then he tore his glance away and nodded. "I must. It's my fault they became slaves in the first place. If I hadn't been so selfish all those years ago, this'd never have happened."

Dragon looked at Zoro thoughtfully, and his stare seemed to pierce through to the very depths of Zoro's soul. "That is hard to say," he said finally. "If you had returned, your kingdom may have been in even more trouble for being complicit in the murder of a Tenryuubito."

"What more trouble could they be in than now?" Zoro asked bitterly. "The World Government sacked the country and enslaved our people."

"Better enslaved than dead," Dragon pointed out. "This way, they still have a chance of being freed."

"Then I must be the one to free them," Zoro said, his voice determined.

"No," Dragon said. "Not you." He drew the white katana and cut the bonds binding Zoro's wrists and ankles together.

"What...why not?" Zoro stuttered, his face a picture of confusion as he rose to his feet, massaging the blood back into his limbs.

"Men should be free to pursue their dreams," Dragon replied, resheathing the sword and holding it out to Zoro. "Go, and fulfill the promise you made on this katana."

"But my people!"

"Leave the slaves to us. We will free them on your behalf." When Zoro opened his mouth to protest, Dragon explained, "I am sure your people would not want to see you enslaved yourself to the task of freeing them."

"Then what about you?"

"This is our lives' work. _Our_ dream. It is no slavery."

Zoro looked between Wado Ichimonji and Dragon for a moment. It was odd how he felt as if he was on the verge of collapse, when he should be feeling the exact opposite, now that such a great responsibility had been lifted from his shoulders. He could feel his entire body relaxing, freed of a tension he hadn't even known was there, and as he drew a ragged breath, he realised that a gentle breeze was blowing, carrying the scent of the sea.

He took the katana and bowed his thanks. "From this day forth, my swords are at your service," he vowed.

If Dragon thought to make a comment on Zoro's having finally learned how to bow after all these years, he did not show it. Instead he said, "I thought you might offer. I already have a mission in mind for you, if you will accept it. Come."

Zoro looked curiously at Dragon, but the man had already turned away, staring contemplatively into the distance. He beckoned to Zoro to join him, and they talked for a long while afterwards, with the easterly wind blowing in their faces.

**.**

"I know it's none of my business, Dragon, but are you sure you can trust him to actually do whatever you asked him to do?"

Dragon glanced sideways at his most trusted lieutenant, and back at the boat carrying the young swordsman against the wind towards the east. "Yes."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because he hasn't changed one bit since he was a boy."

"You knew him back then?"

"Ask Kilnore or any of the others who were there from the beginning," Dragon replied as he waved a hand and a tailwind began to blow, carrying Zoro's boat all the faster.

The man wearing the bear-head nodded. Then he looked at Zoro's boat and noted, "It looks like he's...changing direction, Dragon."

Dragon raised an eyebrow, watching as Zoro turned his boat back towards the labour camp, apparently labouring himself under the delusion that "into the wind" meant east. He gave an inward sigh, raised his hand again and returned the wind to normal. If the ex-prince insisted on fighting the winds all the way there, so be it. Dragon couldn't extend his power all the way to Fuschia, but hopefully Zoro would find his way there eventually, before his son turned seventeen.

As history records, Roronoa Zoro made it only as far as Shelltown. And _that_ was the start of a whole new set of adventures.

**

* * *

**

**Author's Note: **I don't really believe Dragon sent Zoro to help Luffy, but I've always been amused by the thought that when Zoro had once met Dragon and, when he called Luffy the son of the devil, meant it. Hence this fic! That's the end of the Zoro flashback but there are more allusions to prince!Zoro in other fics in this 30 Pieces set. I hope you've enjoyed this arc, and do let me know what you thought of this installment! Concrit is always welcome.


	16. A new topography, Theme: Frog, Kplus

Though not part of the "Adventures of young Roronoa Zoro" arc, you'll need to have read the preceding four chapters to get the end. Also, this contains some Zoro/Nami, which might be interpreted as nakama-love or light romance. I personally think it's fairly mild, but then I'm biased, so if you are violently allergic to ZoNa, I would recommend not reading this or the next couple of pieces. Thank you!

******Title:**A New Topography  
******Theme:**Set #3 - Frog  
******Claim:**Zoro  
******Words:**879  
******Rating:** K+  
******Disclaimers:**I don't own One Piece.

* * *

Nami looked up as the door to her workroom opened to reveal a miserable-looking Zoro, raising an eyebrow as he shut the door behind him, pulled up a chair and plonked himself down beside her.

She examined the pout on his face.

"Let me guess. Sore throat getting you down?"

Zoro nodded.

"Chopper refuse to let you train?"

Another nod.

"Can't sleep because your throat's annoying you?"

Vigorous nodding.

"Aww, poor little Zoro." He scowled when she patted his head condescendingly. "So you needed a distraction, which is why you're here," she deduced.

He nodded again.

"I suppose Sanji-kun threw you out of the galley in case you'd get germs all over his food?" she conjectured.

Zoro frowned and shook his head.

"No? Hmm, then I guess you went to Robin but watching her read was too boring? Luffy and the others wanted to play a game but it was too noisy? Brook wanted to play you a lullaby but you're too macho for a lullaby?"

Every guess she hazarded was met with a shake of the head. Finally he opened his mouth and croaked, "You're the first person I came to."

"Geez, don't talk! You sound terrible!" The pout grew ever more pronounced and Zoro rose as if to leave, but Nami tugged him down again. "I didn't say you couldn't stay." She had to admit she was the tiniest bit flattered by the admission. "I guess I won't have to ask you to keep quiet." He shook his head decisively. "But if you infect me with that sore throat, it'll cost you 10,000 beli."

Zoro arched an eyebrow in mock alarm and edged away from Nami. She gave him a quick smile and returned to work.

True to his word, he kept absolutely silent as he watched her work on her map, his attention glued to watching it take shape. It helped that it was just the sort of map he could actually comprehend, since it was a cross-sectional view showing the relative altitudes and positions of Jaya, the Knock-up Stream, the White Sea, the White-White Sea and the component islands of Skypeia. Up, in this case, actually meant "up".

Gradually, though, his attention was drawn towards the mapmaker. Zoro had never really thought about it, but Nami worked really hard on her maps, as hard as he worked when he trained. He could see it in the tiny furrow in her brow under the pair of red glasses she was wearing, in the hint of tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth whenever she worked on a technically difficult section. It made for a rather cute little tableau, and the hours flew by and he forgot all about his sore throat as she worked and he watched.

Finally Nami leaned back with a contented sigh and stretched the kinks out of her neck and shoulders. Zoro took the opportunity to point at a part of a map that had puzzled him, a legend in the corner with four human figures that he recognised as Conis and Pagaya, and that guerrilla Wiper and the female Shandian warrior. It wasn't the sort of detailed rendering Usopp might have made, but a stylised drawing showing the distinctive hairstyles and clothing of the Skypeians. Zoro had never seen anything like that on a map before, only confusing blobs of blue and green and brown.

Nami looked from Zoro's quizzical expression to the area indicated by his finger. "Oh, that? That was something I decided to start doing after hearing what Robin said at Enies Lobby," Nami explained. He still looked confused, so she clarified, "'You can't see people on a map.' Remember?"

Zoro did remember, and he frowned when he recalled the pain in Robin's voice as she spoke those words, his expression mirrored on Nami's face. But then the clouds cleared from her countenance and she grinned. "That's when I decided that you'd be able to see the people on _my_ maps."

Now that Zoro looked more closely, next to the figures were a few statistics, showing the approximate size of the Skypeian population and various key demographic characteristics, and -

"Gross Island Product?"

"A rough measure of the wealth of each island." Zoro rolled his eyes, and was rewarded with a light knock on the head. "Hey, it's an important statistic to know!" Nami waited for him to make a comment, and when he didn't reply, she said impatiently, "Well? What d'you think of my idea?"

Zoro recalled a country that had once been full of people, full of wealth, full of life, now deserted and ruined, and nodded his wholehearted approval.

Nami smiled, and leaned over to give him a peck on the forehead. Zoro blinked. "Whazzat for?" he asked hoarsely.

"For being a good boy and keeping quiet." She studied his face once more, and put on an expression of mock disappointment. "Pity..."

Zoro's eyebrows arched into a question mark, silently asking, _what did I do?_

Nami grinned, and poked Zoro in the forehead. "I was hoping the frog would turn into a handsome prince."

Fortunately for Zoro, Nami completely misinterpreted the deep blush that followed her words.

* * *

******Author's Note:** That was all I could come up with for a prompt like "frog" :-P No originality, I tell you! Anyway, as always, thank you for your reviews and let me know what you think of this one, good or bad. Concrit is always welcome.


	17. A night at the casino, Thm:Casino, Kplus

**Title:** A night at the casino  
**Theme:** Set #3 - Casino  
**Claim:** Zoro  
**Words:** 2245  
**Rating:** K+  
**Warnings:** I'm really bad at writing fight scenes. Light Zoro/Nami.  
**Disclaimers:** I don't own One Piece.

* * *

Zoro tugged impatiently at the bowtie at his throat, trying to find room to breathe. He hated this outfit. Rented, of course - why would he own a tuxedo, of all things - and clearly tailored for someone with a neck much less muscular than his own. He wondered for the thousandth time why he was here instead of the idiotic love-cook. Sanji would be loving every moment of this, he thought sourly, casting a jaundiced eye towards the women sashaying past the table in their low-cut dresses. He could really do with some sleep. Or training. Or both. Anything, anything but this.

His fingers twitched as they strayed down to his belt and found nothing there. She hadn't even allowed him to wear his haramaki, saying the colour didn't go with the tuxedo. And the stupid bouncers at the entrance had taken his swords away, claiming the casino had a no-weapons policy. "No one wants any trouble, isn't that right, honoured sir?"

He wouldn't have minded bashing them up there and then, until an icy glare from Nami stilled his hand and he reluctantly handed his precious swords over. He'd better not see so much as a speck of dust on the blades when he got them back, or else...

"Honestly, Zoro, stop fidgeting!" Nami hissed in a low voice, placing a pile of chips on the table.

"If you didn't want me to fidget, why'd you drag me here in the first place?" Zoro hissed back.

"I need somebody to guard all the money I'm going to get, naturally!" Nami answered, keeping a sharp eye on the spinning roulette wheel.

"Then why not the ero-cook?"

"Because Sanji-kun needs to restock the food supplies," Nami replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Which, on reflection, it really was.

"Then why not Luffy, or Franky, one of the others?" Zoro demanded.

"Franky'd refuse to put on pants so he wouldn't meet the dress code, Chopper's underage, Usopp would be terrified if I asked him to guard this much money _again_, Brook's a skeleton, and were you serious when you suggested bringing Luffy? Honestly?"

"No," Zoro replied grudgingly. Knowing Luffy, he'd probably get over-excited and put every last beli on a single bet. Though you never knew - with Luffy's luck, he just might win anyway.

"So, it came down to you," Nami concluded.

"Seven! Seven wins!" the croupier announced.

"Oh no! I lost again!" Nami wailed loudly.

Zoro sighed. It wasn't like Nami to waste their money - _her_ money, as she called it - at a casino. At the rate they were losing, they'd be returning with even fewer beli than Usopp usually carried in his wallet - not that he really cared, but he didn't particularly want to be anywhere within a mile of Nami if she really lost all their money. Perhaps if he tried to talk some sense into her... "Nami, you _know_ the casino has a house advantage..."

"Shut up, Zoro, I know what I'm doing," Nami snapped, and Zoro could hear the tension in her voice.

Zoro shrugged and closed his eyes. When it came to money, Nami probably did know what she was doing, so he might as well leave her to her "entertainment" and do something useful, but there wasn't anything heavy enough in here to serve as a weight and Nami probably wouldn't like him drawing attention to them by practising his katas in a tuxedo in the middle of a casino.

Meditation, he thought. Inconspicuous enough. He could do that.

Zoro let out a deep breath and let his mind empty itself of all thought and all emotion. He maintained this blank state for a few moments, then stretched his senses outwards. He'd worked hard on this ever since Arabasta, training himself to feel the breath of all things, but it was difficult in a casino, with all the movement and the noise. His brow furrowed a little as he strained to take in all the sensory input, from Nami's clenched fists as she awaited the inevitable, to the spinning of the roulette ball as it coursed around the wheel...

_KE-THUNK._

"Eighteen! Eighteen wins!" the croupier announced.

_Hmm. This could be good training.__  
_  
Nami's wails at having lost yet another pile of chips were interrupted two rounds later by a smartly-dressed man who had been watching the proceedings at their table for some time. "Excuse me, madam," he said, in a voice that could either be characterised as suave or, as it sounded to Zoro, oozing smarminess. "Your friend here doesn't seem to be bringing you much luck. If you would care to join me in the VIP room...alone?" His eyes flicked over to Zoro, taking in the green hair, the ill-fitting suit and the callused hands, and his nose wrinkled in a slight sneer.

"Oh, that would be wonderful!" Nami cooed, sounding genuinely grateful.

"Whaddaya mean, I'm not bringing her any luck?" Zoro growled. Nami shot him an angry, warning glance, but he ignored it. Like he was gonna sit there and let someone take away his - their - navigator!

"Oh, excuse me, sir, it's true that you are bringing her luck - bad luck."

"Oh yeah?" Zoro challenged. He picked up the remaining stacks of chips and placed them down on 24.

"Zoro, what are you doing?" Nami screeched, reaching out a hand to take back the chips.

"No more bets, ladies and gentlemen, no more bets," the croupier announced, and Nami shot Zoro a dirty look.

"Do you really think you can reverse your luck just like that?" the man asked contemptuously.

"I happen to have a strategy," Zoro retorted.

_KE-THUNK._

"Twenty-four, ladies and gentlemen, twenty-four wins!" The croupier pushed a stack of chips over to Zoro. "Your winnings, sir."

Zoro grinned triumphantly, Nami's jaw dropped, and the man's eyes popped out of their sockets. He swallowed and tried to appear nonchalant. "Beginner's luck," he scoffed.

"Is that so," Zoro said confidently. As the croupier set the wheel spinning once more, he placed his chips on 33, ignoring Nami's angry eye signals. She could only watch helplessly as he won another round, and another, soon doubling their original stake. A crowd soon gathered to watch the phenomenon, gasping with each consecutive win until -

"I recognise you now!" Zoro and Nami froze as the smartly-dressed man jabbed an accusatory finger at them. "You're members of the Strawhat Pirates! Roronoa Zoro, 120 million beli! Cat Burglar Nami, 16 million beli!"

"Funny how you didn't remember that while we were _losing_," Zoro growled, reaching for his katana - and finding them absent. "Dammit!"

A sly smile spread across the man's face. "Guards! Seize them!" he ordered, and immediately joined the general exodus stampeding towards the doors, leaving Zoro and Nami in the middle of an empty casino surrounded by ten guards, who each pulled various weapons on them.

"Oi, Zoro, do something!" Nami demanded.

"Why don't _you_ do something! You know how to fight!" Zoro retorted.

"Do you know how expensive this gown is? If I get it ripped fighting, I'm gonna add its cost to your debt!"

"Greedy witch!"

"If you think that's unfair, then you'd better do something to keep that from happening!"

"Yeah, well, it would be a lot easier to do something if you hadn't made me give them my katana!"

Nami gave a long-suffering sigh. "I guess I _should_ have brought Sanji-kun after all, since _he_ at least knows how to fight bare-handed."

"What the hell? I can defend you just as well as that curly-brow can!" Zoro ground out between clenched teeth.

"Give up, pirates! You're outnumbered!" one of the guards called out.

"Hear him, Zoro? You're outnumbered," Nami observed, as the guards began to charge.

"Okay, okay, _enough_ already! No-sword style! Tatsumaki!" Zoro stretched out his arms and spun around, creating a vortex of strong winds that gradually expanded and caught up every one within range, picking them up and flinging them into whatever piece of casino equipment happened to be in the way - Nami included.

"Ow! Zoro! Next time, _warn_ me before..." Nami's eyes turned into beli signs as the jackpot machine she'd landed next to began spewing out coin after coin.

"Nami! Pay attention!" Zoro yelled, as more back-ups began to pour into the room.

Nami snapped back into the present, her eyes widening at the sheer number of enemies now present. She made up her mind quickly. "Zoro! I'll go get your swords! Wait here!" she called, ducking behind the jackpot machines and soon disappearing from sight.

"Oi! Woman! How am I supposed to protect you when..." Zoro began, stopping when a low rumble caught his attention. He looked up and saw a huge black cloud loom over him and his assailants. "Oh, _shit_." He dove for cover under the roulette table as lightning began to strike, only emerging when the storm had passed. He gave one of the smoking bodies a nudge with his foot. No response.

"Get him!" Zoro's head whipped around when he felt a rush of air-conditioned air.

"Oh, _great_," he muttered when yet another host of guards ran in. _Just how many goons does this casino employ anyway? And where the hell is that woman?_ He raised his voice. "Nami! Where the hell are my katana?"

"Zoro! Catch!" Zoro looked around in time to see his katana sail through the air, and he hastily reached out for them.

"Oi! How many times do I have to tell you not to throw my katana around?" he yelled, sticking them into his belt as best he could, then unsheathing them and sticking Wado's hilt between his teeth. He began fighting his way over to her, sweeping more of the men away with each powerful stroke.

"And how many times do I have to ask for a simple thank-you?" she called, pulling out her ClimaTact to dole out whacks on the head in equal measure, working her way over to him.

"Yeah, thanks," he said grudgingly. Their backs collided and each gave a small smile the other couldn't see.

"Ready to get out of here?" Zoro raised his katana.

"_No_."

Zoro started at the unexpected answer. "What? Why not?" He'd been all ready to make a charge out of this place...

"You ruined my entire plan, Zoro, that's why!" Nami berated him, all while fending off a couple of goons with mini-cyclones.

"What are you mad at _me_ for? You were _losing_, and I won all our money back!" Zoro sent a 36-pound cannon over towards the advancing guards.

"I was trying to get into the manager's good books, so I could sneak into his office and break into the safe!"

"Manager? You mean that smarmy guy?" Zoro belatedly realised.

"Yeah, the smarmy guy!"

"Oh. _That_ was the plan? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did tell you on the way here! You weren't listening, were you?"

Zoro thought back to the long list of rules he'd thought Nami was issuing him, which he'd entirely tuned out. "I guess not," he admitted.

"Well, let's get out of here anyway. Just to let you know, I'm adding the money I didn't manage to steal today to your debt!"

"Figures," Zoro muttered. He sheathed Sandai Kitetsu, then bent down and picked Nami up and put her over a shoulder.

"Eeeeek! Zoro, what the hell are you doing?"

Zoro grinned, knowing she wouldn't be able to see it. "Making sure your dress doesn't get added to my debt as well."

"Put me down!" she demanded.

"Once we're outta here."

"Fine. Fog Tempo!"

"Oni Giri!"

"Get them!"

But when the mist cleared, they were gone, and the only evidence they were ever there was one very trashed casino.

**...**

"_Now_ can I put you down?" Zoro asked as he sprinted through the narrow streets ten minutes later, Nami still slung over his shoulder.

"No, on second thoughts, I don't really want to run in my high-heels."

Zoro rolled his eyes but made no protest. She was so light in comparison to his weights this wouldn't even count as training, anyway.

"What's in here?" Nami poked at a lump in his trousers.

"NAMI!"

She fished out a bag of chips, which consisted of Zoro's winnings from the roulette game. Zoro could practically hear her eyes go _ka-ching_! "Mine!" she declared, in a sing-song voice.

"Oi! I won that! I'm sure you got your own stash!"

"Yeah, but you were using _my_ capital, so it's mine. Don't worry, I'll count half of it towards your debt!"

Zoro heaved a sigh. He couldn't ever win against her, could he? _Just like somebody else he could name..._ "Fine. Take it. Anyway, now that I know it's so easy to win at roulette, I can pay off my debt to you in no time."

Sadly, Zoro soon found that from that day forth, he was never allowed to set foot in another casino again.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I'm guessing that Nami sent Sanji to swap the chips for beli the next day, in case anyone was wondering. Whether the casino was actually in operation (or whether Sanji was recognised from his bounty poster) is anybody's guess. :-P

As always, I'm curious to know what you thought of this chapter! Thank you for all the reviews so far.


	18. Birthday Gifts, Theme: Hook, Kplus

Please note the warnings below! Thank you! Also, to semi-anon reviewer ReaperDemon, this is the fic where we find out what Nami would have said to Silvertongue. :-)

**Title:** Birthday Gifts  
**Theme:** Set #3 - Hook  
**Claim:** Zoro  
**Words:** 3543  
**Rating:** K+  
**Disclaimers:** I don't own One Piece.  
**Warnings:** Zoro/Nami, a little more pronounced than in the ones before. Also, sort of assumes you know what happened in the Old Nemesis arc (Chapters 7-10).  
**Acknowledgments:** Major thanks to ZeldaAddict42 for beta-ing this, and suggesting Nami's negative thought about Zoro.

* * *

Things were quiet in the Slogtown Bounty Collection Office, though this hardly constituted news to the residents of Slogtown. Things were _always _quiet at the bounty collection office, and not for the lack of potential bounties either, for Slogtown often saw pirate ships docking in its harbour, and this far into the Grand Line, the pirates who did survive to reach the island invariably had bounties that went through the roof.

The quiet in the Bounty Collection Office was uncharitably but accurately attributed to Bunion and Carbuncle, the two unfortunates employed by Worldwide Bounties to man the office in what was probably the worst hiring decision in the world, after Blackbeard's appointment as a Royal Shichibukai. Not that the townspeople considered them unfortunate, seeing as they were paid to sit around and wait for bounty hunters to show up at their doorstep, and had been doing so for the past ten years.

The problem was that bounty hunters simply didn't come to Slogtown. This was partly an accident of geography - Log Poses set quickly on this island, and pirates usually set off once they'd restocked their supplies and had their fill of liquor, leaving only a tiny window for bounty hunters to act. The other reason was that once, a very long time ago, Bunion and Carbuncle had bungled the transfer of a 100 million beli prisoner, resulting in a very disgruntled Marine crew, a very disgruntled company, and a very disgruntled and unfortunately very talkative bounty hunter. Miraculously, they hadn't been terminated instantly, but had been allowed to keep their positions.

Until now.

"...You have two weeks to correct the situation before the Slogtown branch of Worldwide Bounties is permanently closed down. Signed, etcetera etcetera," Carbuncle read gloomily.

"What do they expect us to do?" Bunion asked bitterly. "We can't help it if there aren't any bounty hunters to bring in a bounty!"

"Go out and catch a bounty ourselves?" Carbuncle suggested.

"My dear Carbuncle, you know as well as I do that it's not our job to actually go after bounties. Bounty hunters are a touchy lot, they'd be damn annoyed if we trespassed in their province. No, our job is to arrange for the transfer of the bounties to the Marines, and for payment to be made to the bounty hunter - with a healthy cut going to the company, of course."

"But you just said, there aren't any bounty hunters here to get touchy with us anyway," Carbuncle pointed out in his lugubrious voice.

"I _suppose_ that's true," Bunion conceded. "Well, I guess we can give your plan a try. Any bounties in town right now?"

"The Strawhat Pirates sailed in an hour ago," Carbuncle said, nodding towards the open window overlooking the harbour.

Bunion jumped to his feet, wincing at the unaccustomed activity. He slammed his hands on the desk. "The Strawhat Pirates? THE Strawhat Pirates? The ones who took down Enies Lobby?"

"Yes, the Strawhat Pirates. Combined bounty - seven hundred million and fifty beli. Their captain alone is worth 300 million," Carbuncle reported, flipping through a file of bounty posters.

"Let me see that," Bunion snapped, snatching the file. "Strawhat Luffy, 300 million... Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro, 120 million... Demon Child Nico Robin, 80 million... they must be impossibly strong! Not a single one under 10 million!"

"Their pet's worth 50 beli," Carbuncle supplied helpfully.

"Oh, great, and I suppose you think the company will grant us a reprieve if we turn in a 50-beli bounty," Bunion said sarcastically. He slammed the file down on the table and slumped into his chair in a posture of despair. "Let's face it, Carbuncle, we're done for."

His statement was punctuated by a timid knock on the door. "Um, excuse me?" an unfamiliar voice said.

"We're closed! Forever!" Bunion declared dramatically.

"Oh? Er, that's too bad. I guess I'll just look for another bounty office then..."

"Wait! You brought a bounty?" Both men bolted upright, and their jaws dropped in unison as they swung to the imposing figure at the front door, carrying a limp figure under its arm. "That's not..."

"It can't be..."

"Pirate Hunter Zoro?" they chorused, their eyes bulging out.

"Dead or alive?" Carbuncle added.

"Alive, just barely." The bounty hunter tossed his green-haired prey onto the floor of the office. "Um, can we get started on the paperwork? I'm in a hurry. I'll be expecting the usual advance, of course."

"Of-of-of course! I'll just lock him up first!" Carbuncle hurried forward.

"Good thing you knocked him unconscious, sir. I hear he's a real tough cookie," Bunion said, rubbing his hands in glee as he watched their prisoner get locked up in the cage in the corner of the office. He couldn't believe their luck. Roronoa Zoro. The infamous, bloodthirsty Pirate Hunter. 120 million beli, of which five percent would go to Worldwide Bounties as a processing fee. The company certainly couldn't complain about _that_!

He went over to a very dusty filing cabinet and rummaged about for the appropriate form. "Now, what name should I put down, sir?" he asked, picking up a pen and looking up expectantly at the pink-hatted bounty hunter.

"Um...you can call me Mr. Prince!"

**...**

"Where the devil have those two got to? I know the marimo's probably lost, but Chopper usually gets back on time," Sanji fretted. "They're late for Nami-san's birthday party!"

"Maybe there's been some super big trouble in town," Franky speculated, looking towards the sleepy rows of houses.

"You don't have to worry, Sanji. Zoro and Chopper know how to take care of themselves," Luffy grinned, clapping his feet together idly.

"I'm not worried about _them_, I'm worried about Nami-san's birthday cake! It's going to start melting if they don't get back in the next half-hour."

"Nami doesn't look too happy about the delay either," Usopp said worriedly, looking around furtively at the black-faced navigator.

Sanji began muttering something about inconsiderate green-haired bastards under his breath.

"I'm sure they have a good reason for being late," Brook said soothingly.

"If Cook-san and Nami-chan let them live long enough to explain it to us," Robin said cheerfully.

**...**

"Zoro, slow down, I need to treat that wound!" Chopper said for the tenth time as he clung for dear life to Zoro's neck.

"It's fine, Chopper," Zoro insisted. "You can treat it when we're back at the ship. Are we still headed the right way?"

Chopper took a peek around. "Yeah, I think so. But don't forget, I have to stop in that navigation equipment shop."

"Where's _that_?"

"Next right. No, Zoro, I said RIGHT!"

Zoro made an abrupt about-face and jogged in the correct direction. "This the shop?"

"Yeah." Chopper breathed a sigh of relief as he was let down. "I won't be a minute, Zoro. I know exactly what I want to get Nami."

"Okay, but hurry up."

Chopper raised an eyebrow at the swordsman's unusual behaviour. Zoro could be intense at times, but about anything other than battles and training he was usually pretty laidback. He certainly wasn't the sort to get antsy over being late for a _party_. Chopper ran into the shop anyway, and completed the transaction as quickly as he could. He came out to find Zoro poking at his wound.

"Argh! What are you doing? You might get that infected!"

"Eh, it's no big deal," Zoro shrugged. "You ready?"

"Whoaaaaaa," Chopper wailed as he got hoisted up again. Usually he enjoyed the piggyback rides he got from Zoro, but not when the ride was _this_ bumpy. "Zoro, you're going to open up that wound if you move around too much!"

"It's just a scratch! Don't make such a fuss, Chopper," the swordsman said impatiently.

"Yeah, but what if it does get infected and you _die_? I'll feel terrible _forever _for messing up the plan!" Chopper said plaintively.

Was Chopper taking lessons from Nami about how to guilt-trip him, now? Zoro slowed to a halt and conceded defeat. "Fine, you can treat it. But it wouldn't be your fault even if something did happen. You didn't know that cage was going to be made of seastone."

"I should've been able to do something when that one guy attacked you, though," Chopper said apologetically, as he dabbed some antiseptic ointment from his backpack on Zoro's stomach wound.

"That's okay, you were busy dealing with the other guy," Zoro said dismissively. He decided it was best to remain vague, rather than remind Chopper that that was the one yelling, "50-beli bounty!" Chopper had made it pretty clear back then that he'd considered that an extremely rude remark.

"It was pretty cool when you just grabbed your guy through the bars and headbutted him, though!" Chopper said. "Although, that _was_ when he managed to stab you..." He frowned at the blood staining his cloth.

"Eh, I've had worse," Zoro said dismissively.

Chopper certainly had to concede _that_. He got out his gauze and began covering up the wound. "They were pretty scared of you when we finally managed to unlock that cage, though," he giggled. "I don't know why, it's not like you're scary at all."

Zoro smiled fondly at the reindeer. "Yeah, I dunno either."

"But the coolest part was when you inspired them to become pirates!"

"I wouldn't really call that 'inspiring'," Zoro muttered. They'd wailed and pleaded for the chance to turn in at least one of them, asking what else two former bounty hunters were supposed to do with their lives - and they'd seized on the example right in front of them, of the world's most famous bounty hunter-turned-pirate. Personally, Zoro didn't think those two blisters on the landscape of bounty hunters would survive a week as pirates on the Grand Line, but Chopper didn't need to know that. He glanced down as Chopper finished taping the gauze to his skin.

"Done now, Chopper?"

"Yup." Chopper stashed his medical supplies away in his backpack, only to be snatched up by an arm and placed on Zoro's back again. "Waaaaaaaaaah! Zorooooooooo! Too faaaaaaaaast!"

Zoro glanced at the setting sun and put on another spurt of speed. He'd have to run like crazy if they were going to be allowed to live long enough to see Nami's birthday party through to its end.

**...**

It was well past midnight when the others wilted from a combination of too much food, too much alcohol, too much singing and too much laughter. Nami surveyed the confetti-littered deck and gave a shiver. "Wow, it's getting pretty cold," she remarked, reaching for another bottle of sake, only to have her hand intercepted by Zoro.

"Drinking contest's over," he said firmly.

"What, too much for you already?" Nami teased.

"Yeah, I'll let you win this time, seeing as it's your birthday," Zoro conceded defeat. Though it was true that anymore and he'd be running the risk of actually getting drunk, and he was too good a swordsman - or perhaps simply too proud a man - to lose control in that way.

Nami stuck out her tongue at him. "You're just making excuses. Pass that bottle over - hey!" she protested, as Zoro moved the crate well beyond her reach. "How am I going to keep warm otherwise?"

"There are _other_ sources of warmth besides alcohol, you know." Her eyes widened as Zoro settled down beside her, only to be obscured a moment later when a heavy cloth draped itself over her head. "Here. Brought you a blanket."

Nami made a face, but she accepted the blanket and wrapped it snugly around herself. "All right. Did you put everyone else to bed?"

"Yeah, except Robin - not sure where she disappeared off to."

"Robin never gets drunk, I'm sure." Nami leaned back against the side of the ship and looked up at the stars. "That was a really great birthday," she sighed. "The best since - since -" she frowned as a dark memory returned to her mind.

Zoro glanced at her, wary of the tears he could hear in her voice. "Your birthday's not over yet," he said gruffly. "I haven't given you my present."

"_You_ got _me_ a present?"

"Yeah. I think you'll like it. Here." He dug out a wad of beli from his pocket and pushed it into her hands. "You said I owed you seven hundred thousand beli, didn't you? Though how it got up to that much I really don't know."

Nami stared for a moment at the stack of beli, her fingers automatically flipping through the bills. "How'd you get this? Is this why you were late back?"

"Earned it," Zoro said shortly.

"Yeah, earned it HOW?" Nami asked testily.

"What does it matter?" Zoro shrugged. "Money's money."

"You didn't _steal_ it, did you?"

"What's with that shocked voice? You're a thief!" Zoro shot back. "And for the record, I didn't _steal_ anything."

"Then..." Nami searched her memory for some evidence of entrepreneurial activity on Zoro's part, and found that she had to go way back to before the crew got together. Not that doing a spot of bounty hunting just to get some cash to feed himself when he was on the verge of starvation really counted as being entrepreneurial, in her opinion.

"Did you turn in a bounty or something?"

"Um...close to that," Zoro admitted.

"And the bounty collection office didn't recognise you as a bounty?" she asked in surprise. She'd always thought the green hair would be an instant giveaway.

"They...kinda did...?" Zoro let out through gritted teeth.

"But they still gave you the money anyway?" Nami pressed.

"Not really..."

"So you _did_ steal it!" Nami deduced.

"Aaaaaaaargh! Stop being so damn inquisitive, woman!" Zoro yelled in frustration.

"I'm not accepting this until you tell me how you got it," Nami said, folding her arms, the bills still tightly clutched in a fist.

"Okay then, just give it back." Zoro reached for the stack of notes, only to have his hand swatted away.

"No!"

"Then you've accepted it!" Zoro argued.

"I'm counting this as a contribution to the crew's funds, not as a birthday present."

"NAMI!"

He half-expected her to punch him into submission, but instead she put on a wide-eyed, puppy-dog expression. "Please, Zoro? It _is_ my birthday," she wheedled.

Zoro sighed at her use of Chopper's look-too-cute-to-be-refused gambit. Apparently the whole crew was trading how-to-coerce-a-swordsman strategies now. "Fine. _I_ was the bounty, okay? I got Chopper to turn me in, then help me escape." Nami's jaw dropped, and she suddenly gave him a cuff on the ear. "Ow!" he protested.

"What kind of an idiot are you? You could've been killed!" she scolded.

"What d'you take me for, some kind of weakling?" Zoro barked back, rubbing his ear. "I could handle those sorry excuses for bounty hunters any day. Besides, we had a plan."

"Well, obviously not everything went to plan, since you managed to get yourself injured," she said, jabbing a finger into the bandage to prove her point, and he sucked in his breath hastily to keep from crying out.

"Oi! Stop that!" he hissed.

"And why Chopper, of all people? What about Sanji-kun?"

"Are you kidding me? The shit cook looks just like his bounty poster, he'd have been recognised immediately."

"And Chopper looks completely different in Heavy Point," Nami conceded. "But still, how could you force poor Chopper to do a thing like that!"

"Ow! Stop poking that! I didn't force him to do _anything_. He wanted to get the money to buy you that book anyway, so he was more than willing. Besides, Chopper's stronger than you think."

"It doesn't matter how strong he is, he shouldn't have had to take so many risks just to get me a birthday present, and neither should you!"

"Oh, now money suddenly isn't so important? Look, I owed you money, so I got you money," Zoro said stubbornly. "I had a debt, and I repaid it."

"The debt wasn't there so you would repay it!"

Zoro stopped short in his retort, confused. "A debt's a debt. What else are you supposed to do with it?"

"The debt is there, so you'll have something tying you back to us, so you don't go getting yourself killed!" Nami snapped.

There was a tense silence, before Nami realised what she'd just blurted out.

"I didn't just say that out loud, did I?" she groaned.

"Er, yeah. Unless it was the alcohol talking."

"Argh." Nami buried her face in her arms, while Zoro's brow furrowed in thought.

"When you say 'tying you back to us', d'you mean..."

"I don't want to hear it!" Nami sang, covering her ears as her cheeks flushed pink.

"What? It's not a big deal that you said it," Zoro shrugged. "It's not the first unexpected revelation you've made recently."

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Long years under Arlong's webbed thumb had taught her to guard her tongue well, and she had to trawl through her memories once more to find a recent time when she had actually ceded that much control of any situation. "Wait, you don't mean - when Silvertongue had us under his spell?"

"Your most negative thought about me was kinda...surprising," Zoro said, choosing his words carefully. "I mean, I figured it would be about how much money I owed you, or how you always need to threaten me with that damned debt to get me to do stuff, unlike the ero-cook, but..."

"Oh no, what did I say?" Nami asked, scrunching her face up like she really didn't want to hear the answer.

"That it was really annoying that I never, um, paid any attention to your, um, feminine charms." Zoro turned a brilliant shade of scarlet, very deliberately averting his eyes from the more obvious manifestations of Nami's femininity.

"Nooooo! I can't believe I actually said that," Nami moaned, collapsing onto the deck. "Stupid Silvertongue and his Devil's Fruit! I almost want to get him back here so I can kick his ass all over again!"

Zoro's jaw dropped. "What, you mean it's true? That's what you really think?"

"Well, I..." Nami suddenly paused, then sat herself upright and looked squarely at Zoro. "Wait a minute. If I'd really said that back then, then you would _know_ it was true, wouldn't you?"

"Oops..." Zoro desperately wished he was anywhere but facing the wrath of a navigator who was too clever by half.

"Which means that you just made that up? And I _fell_ for it?"

"I...um..."

It didn't take too many of Nami's trademark punches to reduce the swordsman to a state of abject apology - or as close to abject apology as Zoro ever got.

"Geez woman, enough already! I'm sorry, okay?"

"I can't believe you thought you could get away with that! Talk about ruining a birthday!" she huffed.

"But you did like the present, right?" Zoro asked hopefully.

Nami relented a little. "Yeah, it was pretty good as presents go. Bellemere-san always used to give me a bit of pocket money on my birthday, it kinda reminds me of that."

"Good," Zoro sighed in relief. "So, that's settles it for the debt, right?"

"What d'you mean by that?" Nami's eyes narrowed.

"I mean, I paid it off, right? It's done?"

"Done? What made you think that? _You_ happen to owe me ten million beli." Nami poked a finger into Zoro's bandage.

"Ten million beli?" Zoro squawked. "What for?"

"A fine. For trying to fool me with that lame negative thought."

"Oh, great," Zoro grumbled. _Thanks a lot, Robin!_ But he knew that if it hadn't been that, it would've been something else. He was a fish on a hook, unable to wriggle off - but oddly enough, Zoro found that he didn't mind as much as he should have, if that line kept him tethered to her and the crew.

"And you're not allowed to turn yourself in for a bounty ever again. Got it?" she said sternly.

Zoro sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I got it." There was a pause, before he ventured, "Can I turn in the shit cook then?"

"NO!"

"How am I supposed to ever pay you back, then?" Zoro pouted, jutting out his lower lip like a little boy.

Nami smiled, and leaned in closer to him, so close that his earrings tinkled as her lips brushed up against them, noting with satisfaction the rapid reddening of his cheeks. "Let me give you a clue."

Time to test Zoro's newfound awareness of her feminine charms.

* * *

**Author's Note:** That's the last of my Zoro/Nami pieces in this set. (Do I hear cheering? XP)

A note about what's going to happen next: I wrote a four-parter reuniting the Strawhats (because I have no willpower). However, because it was written a while ago, it is now Alternative Timeline because of contradictions with recent canon. I'm inclined to put it up anyway because it's four stories and this is 30 Pieces (I'm not sure where I'll find four fics to replace them if I do skip it). But I'd like to take your views into consideration - so if you would rather not read an Alternative Timeline reunion, let me know. If a majority object to it, I'll think of something else :-)

Thanks, and don't forget to let me know what you thought of this one!


	19. Two of nine, Theme:Cafe, Kplus

I knew this was a bad idea when I started writing this, but I couldn't help myself. As I mentioned in the last fic, this is the first of four Alternative Timeline fics getting the crew back together (because I miss them too much). At the time that I wrote them, they fit in pretty well with canon, but recent canon events have rendered them out-of-sync. Thanks for all the feedback letting me know that that was (well, sorta) okay with you, and I hope you'll enjoy this arc!

Also, I employed the Prince Zoro conceit in this and the following fic, just because it amused me so. So, this assumes you've read the Adventures of Young Roronoa Zoro arc (Chapters 12-15), particularly the last chapter. I also gave Zoro's kingdom a pseudo-random name.

******Title:**Two of nine  
******Theme:**Set #3 - Cafe  
******Claim: **Zoro  
******Words:**1819  
******Rating:** K+  
******Disclaimers:**I don't own One Piece.

* * *

"Swordsman-san?"

The voice comes out of nowhere. Zoro stops, and turns, and a smile spreads across his face when he sees her. He's never been so happy to hear himself called that deeply impersonal name. At least her voice isn't impersonal. It's calm, as usual, but her tone is warm, and it's all he can to do to keep his relief from manifesting itself in a hug.

"Robin! What the hell are you doing here?"

"I might ask you the same, Swordsman-san."

It's too long a story to embark on at the moment, telling of how he beat all the sword-monsters and then he and Perona took one of the rafts they used to catch fish from and then sailed off, her ghosts going on ahead to look for civilisation, of how they arrived and Perona promptly decided he was too uncute and too annoyingly immune to her powers now to continue journeying on further with him - and of how he had heartily agreed to split up and go their separate ways, Perona looking for Moria and Thriller Bark, him for Sabaody.

Instead he asks, "Where are the others?" and frowns when he sees her falter, which can only mean one thing. Complete defeat. ___He hadn't been strong enough._

"I believe they are all safe for the moment," she reassures him, seeing the lost look in his eyes. "We know for certain where Luffy-san is, and we have hints of the whereabouts of Cook-san and Nami-chan."

"_We_?" he queries, puzzled by her use of the plural.

"I'm sailing with the Revolutionaries at present." She notices the guarded look his face takes on at mention of her companions, and smiles. "It's all right, Swordsman-san. They haven't told me anything I didn't already know."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Anything? About what?"

She doesn't answer, merely smiles and glances at the little café to their left. "Are you hungry, Swordsman-san?"

He doesn't want to let her off the hook that easily, but he ___is _starving. Their meagre supplies from the ruined kingdom were used up while sailing here, and he didn't have much in the way of money when Kuma sent him flying. "Yeah," he admits, but reluctantly, as if hunger is a weakness he shouldn't be susceptible to.

He follows her into the café and just orders what she orders, except that the glass of red wine becomes sake. He's not used to having the burden of choice. Life's a lot easier when you have a resident cook you can leave the menu to. Speaking of the cook...he smirks.

She knows that smirk. "Beli for your thoughts, Swordsman-san?"

"I was just thinking that if the shit cook knew we were eating at a café together he'd come rushing here to give me a kick to the head."

"Indeed. I wonder where Cook-san is now."

"If that damned bear guy sent him where he wanted, he's probably on an island filled with beautiful women dressed in skimpy clothes right now."

"I wonder. I certainly did not wish to be sent where I ended up." As she replies, she rubs her wrists absently, and he frowns a little.

"Something wrong?"

"Nothing wrong." She smiles, a little sadly. "More a bad memory than an injury."

"Enies Lobby?" he asks cautiously, guessing correctly, from personal experience, that it's a memory of seastone shackles, of freedom lost, of abandonment and treachery.

"No, far more recent. I don't have much luck with handcuffs." Her laugh is hollow, and he wonders whether to press for details. She saves him the asking by volunteering the story herself. It's a thrilling tale of capture, solidarity, daring escape, then rescue, and he curses inwardly every time a waiter drifts by to take away a dish or refill a glass and she pauses. But it's also a historian's tale, told as if its protagonist lived far away and long ago, rather than sitting at the table across from him, calmly spearing a tomato onto her fork.

Or perhaps it's a device to detach herself from yet another trauma in her already traumatic life. One she should never have had to go through. ___He hadn't been strong enough._

The story takes on emotion, a kind of repressed anger, only when she's talking about other people. Her fellow slaves, their appalling living conditions, the brutality of the guards, the children who knew no other life than misery. He clenches his fists, knowing that his people may have been among them, children like Ryo - of course, Ryo would be the same age as him, but it's hard to think of his childhood friend as grown-up, hard to think that maybe he never had the chance to actually grow up. He doesn't know whether it's worse that they should have been thrust into that life, or to have lived their entire lives under the yoke of slavery, never knowing what it meant to be free.

He feels a familiar twist of guilt in his gut, to think that he lived free, and still lives free, when his pride, his selfishness, was the cause of it all. The guilt only heightens when she describes the liberation of Tequila Wolf by the Revolutionaries. He could have been one of them. ___Should _have been one of them.

But even if he could do it all over again, he wouldn't trade his place at Luffy's side for anything in the world. He's still the same selfish brat he was one year ago, ten years ago. Even if he lived it all over again, he would have made exactly the same choices.

___If _he'd been given the same choices to make.

Fate is one of the few things that still has the capacity to scare Roronoa Zoro. One small gesture. One chance meeting. ___Two _chance meetings. Without them, life would have been so different. He could have been Robin, running forever from the World Government, a price on his head before he was strong enough to bear it. Instead he'd been sheltered, fed, taught what he'd wanted to learn, when he was ready to learn it. By most of his nakama's standards, he's positively spoilt. His gaze softens a little when he thinks about them, and what they've been through.

"Do you miss them?" Robin asks, her eyes fixed keenly on his, and he realises she must have read every emotion on his face while he was lost in his thoughts.

"Yeah," he admits, before he can stop himself. "Just a ___little_," he clarifies, just in case she thinks he's going soft on her.

She just smiles the knowing smile he hates. "I was surprised when I learned that you'd joined Luffy," she comments. He doesn't quite follow how her mind leapt there from him missing the crew, but he snorts in disbelief anyway, because Robin is never _surprised_. "You could have been part of Baroque Works instead," she points out, "and yet you would only accept if you became head of the organisation."

"How'd you know?" He remembers telling Mr. 1 and Miss Doublefinger but not the rest of the crew. Unless Nami hung around to hear it, but he's pretty sure she would have had something to say about the size of his ego if she had.

"Because I was the one who sent the late Mr. 7 to issue the invitation," she smiles at him.

___Oh. Right. _He forgets, sometimes, that she was once an enemy. He hasn't thought about her that way ever since finding out about Ohara. "Sorry 'bout that," he says awkwardly, remembering the dismembered body of the Baroque Works officer agent.

"And yet you followed Luffy anyway when he asked."

_Because I promised_, he thinks, but he also knows that's no longer true. It hasn't been about the promise for a very long while now.

"He has an unusual talent for turning strangers, even enemies, into allies," Robin muses. Thankfully, she's off the topic of how he joined the crew now, but then she goes on to describe the latest news from Impel Down, of how Luffy had broken out and was heading towards Marineford with several of their former enemies - Buggy, Crocodile, Mr. 3 - in tow, to go and rescue Ace, and his heart twists and plummets to his stomach as he listens to her report.

___I should be there. I promised to protect him.  
_  
He pushes back his chair and gets to his feet. They shouldn't just be sitting around here, with Luffy off starting a war. "Let's go."

A few hands covertly sprout out of his seat and pull him back down with a thump, and he shoots her a confused glare. "We won't make it in time," Robin points out. "The battle will be over before we're halfway there."

"But - Luffy!" he protests.

"You have to do what you can, Swordsman-san. For now, Luffy is beyond your protection." He winces as she says it, but he knows she's right. "So you have to do the next best thing, as first mate."

"I'm ___not _first mate," he mumbles, but he knows what Luffy would want him to do. Gather up the crew, make sure they're safe. _Trust _in him, and the allies he's made.

It doesn't make him feel any better that he's powerless to help Luffy, but at least it's something he can do. Just as he was powerless to help his own people, but could entrust that task to Dragon and the Revolutionaries.

"Robin," he asks abruptly, "Was there anyone from a country called Ryokusame among the slaves at Tequila Wolf?"

If Robin knows why he's asking, she doesn't show it. "There were thousands of slaves at Tequila Wolf, Swordsman-san, from many different countries. But from what the Revolutionaries were discussing, that was just the beginning of their campaign in East Blue."

Zoro releases his breath in a long sigh, and nods. If Dragon's still holding on to his promise, he'll hold to his. If there's one thing he can do for his people right now, it's probably to stand by Luffy's side as he declares war on the world.

It's a scary thought, but maybe Fate has him right where it wants him.

He gets to his feet, less suddenly this time, and holds out a hand to her. "Come on. Let's go find the others. Then we'll go get Luffy back." And privately, he adds, ___let's go change the goddamned world__._

* * *

**Author's Note:** I was experimenting with a different writing style in this one, so I would especially love feedback on whether it worked for you. Any other thoughts on this chapter are also very welcome. Thank you.


	20. Two moles in Marineford, Theme: Mole, T

******Title: **Two Moles in Marineford  
******Theme: **Set #3 - Mole  
******Claim:**Zoro  
******Words: **4469  
******Rating: **T  
******Warnings:**Swearing. Spoilers for the Marineford arc. Contains references to the Adventures of Young Roronoa Zoro (Chapters 12-15). Alternative Timeline. Follows directly from the previous chapter.  
******Acknowledgments:**For this piece I took inspiration for many sources, in particular a drabble called Life Without Parole by chibi_trillian.  
******Disclaimers:** I don't own One Piece.

* * *

Zoro couldn't quite remember how he wound up in this mess, though he was pretty sure the shit cook's directions had something to do with it. Wasn't it three rights and a left? Or three lefts and a right? In any case, he appeared to have teleported into a completely different building.

He watched as the Marines around him formed an orderly queue to collect their food. Maybe he should just go with the flow and get some...

"So _t____his _is where you are, shithead!" a voice hissed.

Zoro turned to see Sanji beckoning at him from the door of the mess hall. He gave an inward sigh of relief and went over.

"What the fuck are you doing ___here_? I said to meet in the materials dump! I've been searching everywhere for you!"

"Thought I'd get a taste of Marine cuisine," Zoro smirked. "It's probably better than yours."

Sanji shot him a glare out of his one visible eye. He'd somehow managed to put on his Marine cap at a jaunty enough angle that his left eye still remained covered up. "Go ahead and try it, then!"

"No time," Zoro said authoritatively. "Let's head to the materials dump and get what we came for."

Sanji looked very much like he wanted to kick Zoro's head in, which was an entirely likely state of affairs. But drawing undue attention to themselves would probably be a bad thing in an undercover operation like this one.

"Shut up, marimo idiot, and follow me."

Truth be told, Zoro wasn't very marimo right now, his green hair having been dyed black for the duration of the operation. Nami had promised that it would wash off. He hoped she was telling the truth.

"Why'd it have to be you of all people coming with me, anyway?" Sanji grumbled, as they did their best imitation of a Marine quickmarch through the halls of Marineford.

"Why'd it have to be _you _coming with ___me_?" Zoro shot back.

"Hmm, maybe because we needed someone with ___intelligence _on this mission? And because the Marines don't employ reindeer or skeletons, Franky would probably prance around in his sea pants ___anyway_, and Usopp's nose couldn't be disguised like my eyebrow and your hair could?" Sanji crossed out all the other eligible male members of the crew.

"Then why'd you ask? Anyway, you forgot Nami and Robin," Zoro pointed out.

"And risk their lives? They're ladies!" Sanji snapped.

"They're ___nakama_. Geez, and I thought you'd have learned something on that okama island."

"Shut the hell ___up_. We agreed never to speak of that _again_!"

Zoro just shrugged and marched along. Sanji gave him a quick judging glance. He hated to admit it, but Zoro looked a lot more at home in his Marine disguise. Sanji had to continually tell himself not to slouch so much, while Zoro's build was much more like that of a typical Marine grunt. All brawn, no brains.

"Stop, you two! Where do you think you're going?"

They froze at the command from the female voice, hearts popping out of Sanji's eye while Zoro internally panicked. ___No! Not her! What the hell is _she ___doing here? _And then his mind slid to the more pertinent question: ___will she recognise us?_

Still, there was nothing for it. They turned and snapped to attention. "Ensign Tashigi, ma'am!" Zoro barked, glad that he knew something of Marine protocol after years of turning in bounties at Marine bases. He noted with relief that the glasses were missing from Tashigi's eyes. Between that and their disguises, the ditzy Marine probably wouldn't recognise them. They were safe.

But without those glasses, she looked so much like Kuina it took all his willpower not to bolt away, anyway.

"What are you two doing out here? It's time for katana practice!"

"Er...ma'am?"

"Come on!" she said insistently. They exchanged confused glances, then followed her into a dojo where many other Marines were already standing in formation, each carrying a bamboo shinai, glaring at the latecomers.

"What do we do?" Zoro hissed at Sanji, as they hurried over to the barrel of shinai.

"What else can we do? She's so pretty!" Sanji swooned.

Zoro could have kicked ___him_. "What about our mission?"

"We can't just run now. We'll play along and try to sneak out halfway."

There didn't seem much choice, so each of them selected a shinai - Zoro almost took three, before Sanji batted two of them away - and took up the last two places in the back of the formation.

The next ten minutes were excruciatingly boring for Zoro. Not that he didn't practise these simple katas - they were the foundation of all good swordsmanship, and he practised them diligently everyday. But normally, he did it with several-tonne weights, not with a bamboo shinai so light he hadn't trained with one in eight years. He glanced around at the Marines, rolling his eyes whenever he noticed an elementary error. Even the worst student at Sensei's dojo wouldn't have such poor shinai control! Still, Tashigi seemed to be doing a good job going around and patiently correcting their mistakes. He could tell that Sanji was just waiting for the swordswoman to come round, put her hands on his and correct his terrible, terrible grip.

Which, on reflection, would only give her even more opportunity to recognise them.

"Oi! Shithead!" he whispered, trying to catch the cook's attention. When Sanji looked around, he made frantic gestures to show him how to adjust his grip. Sanji just stuck his tongue out at him and returned to his katas. Zoro could have murdered him. And look, that Kuina clone was already on her way over to the shit cook!

"Very good," was all Tashigi said, taking a brief glance at the cook's stance.

"Thank you, ma'am..." Sanji replied in a rather unmilitary croon.

___What the hell? That's nowhere near a good grip! What kind of swordswoman is she anyway?  
_  
Next Tashigi turned to Zoro.

"What's this? Ah, just a bit wrong." Zoro's face reddened to the tips of his ears as Tashigi came up to him and altered the positioning of his thumbs. "Much better." ___What the hell does she mean, much better? __She walked off to inspect the rest of the Marines in their row_, Zoro furiously returning to his katas and ignoring Sanji's sniggering.

"All right! Halt!" Tashigi called. "Let's do a series of one-on-ones. Each of you, come up and fight me!"

This was getting worse and worse! Zoro had no doubt she'd recognise him once their shinai touched. ___If _she was any good as a swordswoman, that is, which he was beginning to highly doubt. "Come on, cook, let's get out of here."

"Why, afraid you'll lose to her?" Sanji grinned.

Zoro didn't even bother to tell him to shut up. He swung his shinai into Sanji's stomach, catching the cook unawares. Sanji doubled up on his hands and knees, hacking and wheezing.

"What's wrong over there?" Tashigi blinked vaguely in their direction, hearing the commotion.

"He seems to have taken ill suddenly, ma'am. Shall I take him to the sick bay?" Zoro asked.

"Oh. All right. Report back afterwards and let me know if he's okay."

"Yes, ma'am!" Zoro picked up the cook and the broken shinai - it wouldn't do to leave any evidence, after all - and carried them out of the dojo, breathing a sigh of relief when they were out of Tashigi's sight.

"What the hell was that for?" Sanji snarled when he caught his breath in the corridor.

"We're late as it is! You want me to tell Nami and Robin the reason they had to wait was because you couldn't take your eyes off that Marine woman?"

Sanji's face changed. "Of course I don't!"

"Then let's go get that damn seastone!"

"All right!" They set off through the maze of corridors once more. Sanji glanced at the broken shinai and smirked a little at the memory of Zoro's embarrassment. "How'd you like being told your sword grip isn't so good?"

"She's ___blind _without her glasses, you know that!"

"I don't know, she seemed to know what she was doing," Sanji teased. "And didn't you say before she was a decent enough swordswoman?"

"Maybe her school uses a different set of techniques." Besides, Zoro thought, he hadn't used a two-handed grip in forever, so it wasn't his fault! "Anyway, we are never speaking of ___this _again, or someone is going to ___die_."

"I'll try and remember that," Sanji responded, unable to keep a smile from spreading across his face. "Come on, I think it's the next corridor on the right." They duly turned right, spotting another group of Marines at the other end of the corridor.

Marine Vice-Admiral. White hair. Picking his nose. "Shit, that's not Luffy's grandfather, is it?" Sanji murmured.

"And that looks a lot like Coby," Zoro muttered back, recognising the pink-haired boy. That guy with the funny blond hair looked familiar too...

"Shit. Quick, in here!" Sanji hissed, grabbing Zoro by the wrist and pulling him into the first room he found. They ducked beneath the clear glass of the door and waited as Garp's entourage passed by.

"So it's confirmed that Luffy-san is on Amazon Lily, Garp-san?" Coby was asking.

"Yeah, but keep it to yourselves. No reason to set the whole world on those women. Can't have all our men turned into stone!" The voices trailed off as they disappeared around a corner. Zoro and Sanji breathed a sigh of relief and finally glanced around their hideout.

"Looks like this is some kind of records room," Sanji said, getting to his feet. He opened one and his eye widened. "This is where they keep their records on pirates!" He pulled out a random file from a filing cabinet. The first sheet was the pirate's most recent bounty poster, followed by a series of reports delving into his background.

"Okay, where's mine?" he muttered, rummaging around in the "SA" drawer. Meanwhile, Zoro went over to the "RO" drawer and looked for his. It was easy to spot, being the thickest one in that particular drawer. It contained a full record of all the bounties he'd ever turned in, a list of confirmed and unconfirmed sightings, reports from Smoker and Tashigi from all the times they'd failed to capture the Strawhats - he smirked as he glanced through those - and then he saw something that made him frown. "Received information that Roronoa Zoro may in fact be the exiled prince of Ryokusame Kingdom." It was followed by an account from a traveller who had once passed through his country and seen him at an official function, who'd been struck by his head of green hair, and later connected the dots upon seeing his wanted poster.

Zoro grimly pulled the sheet of paper out of the file and crushed it into a pocket. Sanji looked up at the sound. "What are you doing?"

"Getting rid of some misinformation," Zoro said as dismissively as he could manage. He glanced a little curiously towards the "NI" drawer, but told himself that with twenty minutes left to go till the rest of the Strawhats rendezvoused with them, they didn't have the time. He glanced across at the table where Sanji appeared to be busy scrawling something. "What are ___you _doing, shit cook?"

"Drawing a new picture of myself they can use on their next bounty poster."

"We don't have time for that! Come on! You heard Luffy's grandpa, the Marines already know where Luffy is!"

"Just a bit more, dammit! There!" Sanji finished his drawing with the flourish of an eyebrow.

"It looks even uglier than the other one," Zoro said flatly.

"It does not! I look suave and elegant!"

"Whatever. Get moving, shit cook!"

"Okay, okay!" Sanji shoved the file back into the drawer and they continued their meandering route through the complex. "All right, there's the exit from this building. There should be a warehouse in the back where they keep all that stuff." They made their way cautiously outside, mingling with the crowds of Marines going about their business, then scurrying over to the gigantic dump.

"Think we can just walk out with two crates of seastone? That's all Ray-san thought we needed, right?"

"Let's just try it and see." They walked past the guards at the entrance, hoping they looked purposeful and like they knew where they were going. The guards made no comment, and they quickly ducked into one of the many aisles, looking at the crates and crates piled atop one another.

"Ammunition belts...bullets...cannonballs...I think they go in alphabetical order," Sanji mused.

"That's useful," Zoro commented, and promptly turned in the wrong direction.

"This way, idiot." They hurried over to the "S" section. "Seastone nets...seastone cuffs...aha! Pure seastone." Sanji eyed the gigantic crates doubtfully. "They look pretty heavy."

"Don't think you can manage? Want me to carry yours for you?" Zoro offered with a smirk.

"Like hell! Come on, let's load up. The sooner we can get out of here, the better."

Between the two of them, they managed to shift one crate onto Sanji's waiting hands. He let out a grunt as the weight settled on his hands, wishing that his feet had opposable big toes so he could use his leg strength to carry it instead. But he held steady, and waited while Zoro eased the next crate onto his shoulder.

"Okay. Mission accomplished. Let's get out to the plaza. Try not to look suspicious."

"Why would I ___try _to look suspicious, asshole?"

They walked out, hoping that the two guards at the entrance wouldn't stop and ask for an authorisation slip or something. No such luck. They were stopped right at the exit of the warehouse with a peremptory "Halt!" They glanced at each other, making a silent promise to just run if trouble started.

But instead of asking for their authorisation to remove two crates of seastone, the guards seemed to have a different regulation in mind. "Why are you carrying these seastone crates alone? You know that the Health and Safety Department says that anything over a tonne should be carried by at least ten men, unless they're Devil's Fruit users."

Zoro and Sanji gaped at them. Health and _freaking Safety Department_? The Marines had such things? "Well, we are Devil's Fruit users," Zoro lied.

If Sanji had had a hand free, he would have slapped his forehead. Or Zoro.

The guard's eyes flicked up at the crate and he frowned. "But if you're Devil's Fruit users, you shouldn't be able to carry seastone..."

"Let's just get the hell outta here," Sanji shook his head.

"Agreed." Zoro took one step forward and headbutted the first guard, while Sanji levelled the other with a kick, wobbling a little as he tried to compensate for the extra weight. "Oi! Cook! Don't come this way!" Zoro said, alarmed, as Sanji lurched into him, knocking the crate out of his hands. Soon it was his turn to be coughing and choking, as his crate crashed to the floor around him, sprinkling him with a fine spray of seastone dust.

"Oops. Sorry," Sanji said, a little sheepishly, managing to right himself at last.

"Great," Zoro said, brushing off the dust. "Now I'll have to go back and get another one."

"I'll go get it," Sanji offered, but Zoro had already run off. ___Wonderful. He's gonna get himself so lost! _Sanji lowered the crate to the floor and busied himself with hiding the bodies of the two unconscious guards.

"M, N, O, P, Q, R, S...!" Sanji heard someone chant to himself. Well, at least the marimo had received a basic education. He suspected this would be another item on their subjects-never-to-be-mentioned-again list. Finally Zoro returned, looking grey and dusty but with an intact crate on his shoulder once more.

"___Now _let's go! Where to now?" he asked, as Sanji picked up his crate again with a barely-concealed grunt.

"The plaza. There's plenty of Marines carrying supplies to the crews rebuilding it, so we should be able to hide among them just fine. So long as no other health-and-safety freaks confront us this time!"

No such people confronted them, but just as they got to the edge of the plaza and stood there gaping again at the unbelievable amount of damage, they heard the last voice they wanted to hear right now. Apart, perhaps, from Garp and the Marine admirals.

"RORONOA!" Of course _he_ wouldn't have been fooled by black hairdye.

"Oh, shit. It's Smoker! Run!"

"Hold it right there, Strawhat Pirates!" Sanji looked down and saw a wisp of smoke edging towards his ankle. He ran faster.

"Cook! Take this!" Zoro tossed his crate towards Sanji, who somehow managed to make it land square on top of his existing one, even if the doubled weight did make him buckle slightly. He recovered in time to see Zoro launch himself at Smoker in something of a flying embrace. Upon contact with Zoro's seastone-dusted form, the Devil's Fruit user's body coalesced back into a heavy lump and they collapsed in an awkward heap.

"Damn you! What the hell did you do?" Smoker grunted.

"Sorry, Commodore. Had a little accident with some seastone," Zoro grinned.

"Stop hugging the man and get going, marimo!"

"Whoops, gotta go." Zoro left the Marine officer lying panting on the ground and went back to Sanji, retrieving his crate.

Smoker found, to his annoyance, that the residual dust was still affecting his ability to transform into smoke. He settled for organising the Marines to go after the pirates. "Get them! Cut them off at the crack in the plaza!"

"Aye aye, sir!" The Marines promptly swarmed around them, trying to block their path as they threaded their way through the rubble.

"You know," Sanji panted, as he dealt kick after kick to the hordes of attacking Marines, "Red Leg was ___never _designed to be used while carrying this much weight."

"I could ___really _use my katana right now," Zoro agreed, wishing that three swords wasn't so distinctive a trademark. He had to settle for juggling the crate between each hand and dealing out punch after punch instead as they ran across the ruined, torn-up plaza.

"Shit! There's just too many of them!"

"And they've got guns, dammit! Look out!"

And then they heard the welcome words:

"Cien Fleur!"

"Hissatsu Kaen Boshi!"

"Weapons Left!"

"Tornado Tempo!"

They didn't have to turn around to know what had just happened to the Marines on their tail.

"Robin-chan! Nami-san! You saved us!" Sanji noodled the rest of the way to the ship.

"Usopp! Franky!" Zoro grinned, glad to see his crew.

"Zoro-san! Sanji-san! Get on board quickly and we'll go!" Brook called.

They clambered on board quickly, helped by Usopp and Franky, and secured the crates quickly to the deck.

"Chopper-bro! Submerge!" Franky shouted.

"Okay!" Chopper responded, as the others piled into the cabin and sealed the door behind them. The coated Thousand Sunny plunged into the depths just in time to avoid a barrage of Marine cannonfire.

**...**

Zoro and Sanji lay on the floor of the cabin minutes later, still panting from the exertion. "God, I feel like shit," Sanji groaned, wishing he could smoke a cigarette, but since the cabin was now air-tight, that was probably a bad idea.

"Yeah, I feel pretty crappy myself," Zoro agreed, coughing a little. The seastone dust in his lungs was _not_ pleasant.

"Zoro! Sanji! Are you okay? Did you get hurt? We were so worried when you were late!" Chopper had handed over the helm to Franky and launched himself onto Zoro. His body promptly went limp and he sank into Zoro's lap.

"Crap. Oi, Sanji..."

"I got him." Sanji sat up with a groan - his muscles hadn't ached this much since his very first fighting lessons with Zeff - and picked the reindeer off Zoro, thankful that he was in his small form.

"What happened, Swordsman-san?" Robin asked. Zoro noticed that she was maintaining a safe distance.

"One of the seastone crates broke and I got covered with the dust. Sorry, Chopper. I'll go wash it off as soon as I can." Zoro hoped it wasn't a permanent condition. It was useful, yes, but he wouldn't want the Devil's Fruit users of the crew to all be allergic to him. Much as he hated to admit it, he would miss Chopper's hugs. Luffy's too, for that matter. But that could only happen when they got him back.

"Speaking of Luffy," he began, ignoring the fact that they hadn't been, "Iva's information was right. He ___is _on Amazon Lily."

"Good, then this trip wasn't in vain," Nami said. "But if you found that out at Marineford...that means the Marines must know too!"

"Only his grandfather, and he said not to tell anyone else. I think Luffy's safe for now, Nami-san," Sanji replied.

"Good. So all we have to do is get the Sunny coated once more, mixing the seastone in with the resin this time. We should be able to sail through the Calm Belt without trouble from the Sea Kings this time, like the Marines do."

"Nami-swan is so wonderfully smart!" Sanji cooed.

Nami smiled and glanced at her watch. "Okay, Franky! It should be safe to bring us back up to the surface."

"Gotcha, Nami-sis!"

The ship rose gradually enough that apart from having to pop their ears a few times, the pressure differential gave them no problems. They breathed a sigh of relief when they breached the surface of the sea once more. Coating or no coating, the Sunny was no submarine, and they vastly preferred life under the bright sunlight to life in the ocean deep. They gravitated out towards the open deck, Franky immediately heading off to inspect their new acquisition.

Zoro went to shower and change. He wasn't spending any more time in this starchy Marine uniform than he could help. He emerged on deck minutes later in his normal clothes, katana back at his side, restored to his usual marimo state, though the seastone had apparently refused to wash away along with the black hair dye. "Sorry, Chopper," he said again, hating the disappointed look on the reindeer's face when he found he still couldn't get near Zoro without feeling queasy. "But it won't be permanent, right?"

"I don't think so," Chopper replied. "Skin cells take about a month to regenerate, and as they shed you should gradually get rid of all the seastone in your pores. What about your lungs, are they okay? You inhaled a lot of the stuff, right?"

"Yeah, but it's okay. I can breathe just fine. Good thing I didn't get injured this time, huh? You wouldn't have been able to treat me if I had," Zoro said, trying to sound light-hearted.

"Yeah. I'm glad about that. Let me know if you start having problems breathing, though!"

"Chopper, I'll be fine." He stretched, enjoying the pleasant ache in his muscles from carrying the crate of seastone. "I think I'll go do some training."

"Want me to come supervise, marimo?" Sanji smirked. He had changed back into his usual clothes, too.

Zoro glared at him. "Only if it's to give a demonstration of your okam- "

"On second thoughts, I need to go prepare lunch," Sanji quickly changed his mind.

"Should've just grabbed some grub from the Marine mess hall, saved yourself the trouble," Zoro said off-handedly.

"Oh? You think so, do you?" Sanji glowered at Zoro.

"Yeah. Food's food," Zoro shrugged.

"We'll see about ___that_," Sanji muttered.

**...**

Zoro threw himself into his work-out with a will, trying to erase the memory of that humiliating sword practice with exhaustion. He was therefore more than ready for his meal when Sanji yelled for the louts and ladies to come eat an hour later.

They had to rearrange the seating plan a little so that Zoro was seated as far away from the Devil's Fruit users as possible. Sanji moved around the table giving out individualised plates. "Here you are, Nami-san, enjoy your meal...and here's yours, shithead." He plonked down a packet of something just this side of edible down in front of Zoro.

"What the hell is this?" Zoro made a disgusted face as he examined the packet.

"'Food's food'. Eat up, marimo." Sanji sounded a touch gleeful.

"Where'd you get this from?"

"When I was searching all over for you when you got lost, I went through the kitchens and picked up a ration box to study. But since you expressed so much interest in Marine cuisine, I thought I'd let you have it."

Zoro looked at the gleaming red lobster and fresh vegetables the others had on their plates, then down at the glop of food that he guessed might be an approximation of rice and stew. Oh well. He'd eaten worse, right? And he'd much rather eat this than his words. "Fine. ___Thanks for the meal__, _curly cook." He picked up a spoonful and forced it down, trying not to grimace. It was even worse than he thought. How could the Marines stand to eat this stuff? Maybe he should have gotten himself lost at the officers' mess instead...

"So whaddaya think of Marine cuisine _now_, marimo?"

"It's...decent," Zoro replied with what he hoped was a don't-careish expression. He issued his body his usual directive to stop being wussy and to treat this as training, willed another scoop into his mouth and chewed grimly.

Sanji snorted. "Next time, leave the lying to Usopp. 'We're Devil's Fruit users.' Honestly!"

"Hey, I heard that!" the maligned sniper protested.

Zoro returned to half-heartedly stabbing at the stew.

Pathetic training. Starchy uniforms. Health and safety regulations. And now, bad food. He was beginning to feel sorry for his enemies, and thankful - just a touch - that this torture would last only one meal and he'd be back to eating Sanji's concoctions at dinnertime.

He was even more thankful that Luffy had had the good sense to defy his grandfather's wishes to join the Marines.

Although, if he had joined them, he probably wouldn't be in such a state now. Reports had it that he had been grievously injured, and Zoro couldn't be surprised, after having seen the ruins of the plaza at Marineford, evidence of the terrible battle that had been fought there. So many lives lost. Countless pirates and marines. Whitebeard. _Ace._

But not Luffy, thank goodness. _He_ wouldn't die. Zoro knew it, deep within his bones. He'd felt for himself just how much pain and injury his captain's body could handle. He would survive.

_Hang____ on, Captain_, he thought grimly. ___We're coming for you.__  
_  
He didn't even taste the rest of the slop going down his throat.

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews so far, folks. Your thoughts on this chapter are greatly appreciated. Concrit is always welcome. Thank you.


	21. On Amazon Lily, Theme: Sand, Kplus

******Title: **On Amazon Lily  
******Theme: **Set #3 - Sand  
******Claim: **Zoro  
******Words: **3546  
******Rating: **K+  
******Warnings: **Spoilers for the Marineford arc. Contains references to the Adventures of Young Roronoa Zoro (Chapters 12-15). Alternative Timeline. Third in a series imagining one way the Strawhat crew might have reunited (except that recent canon got in the way). Probably some OOC-ness on the part of characters I'm less familiar with. May be depressing.  
******Disclaimers:**I don't own One Piece.

* * *

Robin had just finished briefing them about Amazon Lily when the actual island came into view, a rocky crag protruding from the Calm Belt topped with a crown of serpents carved into the rock. Apart from the statues and the huge characters "Kuja" chiselled into the mountainside, it looked every inch a deserted island.

"The actual village is nestled in a valley within the mountain range," Robin explained when Chopper commented on the lack of buildings. "Outside of the village, there is only forest."

"But what about over there?" Usopp pointed to a sandy clearing in the midst of the trees, a gigantic scar through the heart of Amazon Lily.

"That's strange," Robin commented. "My research indicates that the women of Amazon Lily rarely use wood for building. Why would they permit this level of deforestation, and so far away from their village, too?"

"If not wood, then what do they use, Robin?" Chopper asked.

"They quarry for rock directly from the mountains, sometimes carving their buildings into the mountains themselves. In addition, I understand that they take great care to preserve the ecosystem of their island - necessary, since it's so small any sort of blight or natural disaster could wipe out all their sources of food in a trice."

"So where do we drop anchor?" Zoro cut in, a little bit impatient with the academic discussion, not really seeing what a bunch of sand in the middle of the island had anything to do with _them_. "I don't see any coves."

"I'll take the Sunny around and look for a good landing spot," Nami said, turning the wheel.

It didn't take them long to spot a cove on the southward side of the island, and moreover to discover that it was occupied by a submarine. They weren't at all surprised to find that it bore the emblem of the Heart Pirates, given what Iva had told Sanji on Kamabakka.

"I was wondering when you guys would show up. You took your time," Trafalgar Law hailed them lazily as they docked alongside their rival's vessel.

"Yeah, well, we had a lot to take care of," Zoro responded, a little awkwardly. Not that the Strawhats had anything near a defined chain of command, but normally it would be Luffy talking to Law, Luffy with his disarming grin and his complete ease when talking to anyone and everyone. Zoro was fine making verbal jabs at enemies, and communicating with friends, but friends-who-should-be-enemies were rather less familiar.

"Your captain's in the forest somewhere. Just follow the trail of fallen trees." Law jerked a thumb in a certain direction, then seemed to change his mind. "Oh wait, don't."

"Fallen trees? You mean...that was ___Luffy_?" Nami asked, her eyes widening in horror.

"Why did you say not to follow him?" Zoro frowned.

"Newsflash. Island of Women. We haven't been allowed out of the camp since we landed, with the exception of Jimbei, and that's only because he's a Fishman, and apparently they're okay."

"Well, we're gonna go look for him anyway," Zoro decided.

"Their warriors will kill you!" Bepo warned. "Although it would be nice to be killed by a warrior of Amazon Lily..." he drifted off dreamily.

"We can handle them," Zoro said confidently.

Law shrugged. "It's your funeral. But I don't see why you should ask for trouble when you have two lovely ladies you can send to talk to him instead." He shot Nami and Robin a charming smile.

"Like we'd let them go alone into a dangerous jungle without protection," Sanji flared.

"We won't go alone," Nami said, "but not because we can't protect ourselves. It's because Luffy needs us. ___All _of us." Everyone nodded.

"All right, but don't say I didn't warn you." Law glanced at Chopper. "You're the doctor, right? I'll brief you on his injuries and my treatment."

"Okay," Chopper replied. He looked up at Zoro, who nodded for him to stay.

"And then we're outta here." Law stood up and stretched, then frowned. "I guess we'll have to ask the empress to escort us out again. How did you guys get through the Calm Belt, anyway? Seastone?"

"Yeah."

"What? How'd you get your hands on enough of that to coat your ship?" another of Law's crew asked. They guessed he was probably Law's engineer. "The Marines control the worldwide supply of seastone, and it's super expensive on the black market!"

Zoro and Sanji glanced at each other. "Marineford," they answered, after a moment.

Law arched an eyebrow. "Like captain, like crew. You guys are all crazy."

"We have some left over that you can use if you like," Franky offered. "But we used Sabaody resin to bind it to the hull. You'd have to improvise something else."

"Nah, I'd rather be able to touch my ship without keeling over," Law replied. "Besides, don't think you can get away with trading this favour for something paltry as a crate of seastone."

"Do you really think we value Luffy's life so cheaply?" Zoro said simply. Nami promptly conked him on the head. "Ow! Nami! What was that for?"

"That's just the wrong thing to say!" Nami scolded.

"But it's true!" Zoro protested, rubbing the bump on his head vigorously.

"I ___know _it's true, but you didn't have to say it out loud and put yourself in a bad bargaining position!"

Law watched the altercation with amusement, then added oil to the fire. "I'll hold you to that. I'll expect to be repaid someday, with interest."

"SEE? Anything extra we have to pay him because of what you just said will be added to your debt, Zoro!"

"Okay."

"Okay? You're not supposed to just say 'okay'!"

"He saved Luffy's ___life_, Nami. He's not going to ask for money in return."

Law eyed his fellow swordsman for a moment, then a smile spread across his face. "I see we understand each other. It'd be fun to duel with you one day." He dropped a hand casually to the hilt of his sword.

Zoro grinned, a touch predatorily. "Any time. C'mon," he said to the others. "Let's go. Chopper, come after us once you're ready."

"If you live past your first sight of the lovely ladies of Amazon Lily, let them know we wanna leave," Law said with another lazy wave. They left Law's crew, a lovelorn bear, and the two doctors earnestly discussing Luffy's condition behind them, and set off into the forest.

**...**

"What's that supposed to ___mean_, anyway, paying interest if the payback's not in money?" Nami was still berating Zoro minutes later as they threaded their way through the trees. "If it means what I ___think _it means, you are so going to get more belis added to your debt!"

"Nami, just leave it the hell alone!"

"Stupid self-sacrificing marimo _idiot_," Sanji muttered under his breath.

"What was that, curly-cook?" Zoro swung around threateningly.

"You didn't answer my question!"

"Oi, cook, you sure you can handle this?" Zoro very deliberately changed the subject, ignoring Nami's glare. "We may have to fight these women, y'know."

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you," Sanji replied, sarcastically polite. "And, of course, I'll protect Nami-swan and Robin-chwan too!" He wriggled enthusiastically.

Now it was Zoro's turn to mutter about people who just didn't ___learn_, even after being specifically sent to an okama island to develop a better ___attitude_.

"What did you just say, marimo?" Sanji glared.

"Oh, ___now _you want me to say it out loud?" Zoro retorted.

It was obvious a squabble was about to break out, when Robin interposed smoothly, "In any case, it's obvious they have played some part in rescuing Luffy, so technically we shouldn't be fighting against them."

"Only if we need to defend ourselves," Zoro agreed.

"So we shouldn't provoke any fights," Usopp said, looking a touch nervous at the prospect of encountering a group of ferocious Amazons.

"That's right," Nami agreed. "We should all be _respectful _of their customs, and..." She broke off when there was a rustle of leaves, and a group of ferocious Amazons even more terrifying than Usopp's wildest imaginings stepped out from the greenery, surrounding the pirates completely, snake-bows drawn. Zoro, Franky and Usopp immediately took up a defensive stance. Sanji fell in love. Robin and Nami just sighed.

"Heart Pirates! What is the meaning of this intrusion?" a woman with long black hair barked at them. "You were told not to leave your camp upon pain of death!"

"You see, we're _not _the Heart Pirates," Robin explained smoothly. "We're..."

"Excuse me, miss, may I have the honour of peeking at your panties?" Brook interrupted, lifting his hat.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!" every one of the Kuja warriors shrieked. "A skeleton!" "Asking to see our ___panties_!"

Every one of the Strawhat Pirates heaved a sigh. "_BROOK!_"

"Shithead! What happened to showing respect?" Sanji lashed out with a kick.

"What an insult to the honour of the Kuja warriors! Prepare to fire!" the dark-haired woman commanded.

"Wait a minute!" one of the warriors, a lithe blond woman, said, making her way to the front of the pack. She faced Brook fearlessly. "Are you, by any chance, a musician?"

"Indeed I am, miss! My name is Brook. Pleased to make your acquaintance." Brook gave her a deep bow.

Her face brightened. "Then you're one of Luffy's nakama! Don't you remember, Aphelandra? Sweetpea? Luffy said that one of his nakama was a skeleton who would ask to see our panties!"

"You're right, Margaret!" a very tall brown-haired girl replied.

___Way to make a great first impression, Luffy_, the rest of the Strawhats groaned.

"So, may I?" Brook asked hopefully.

"Only if you show us your kintama in return!"

Sanji passed out.

"Oi, Robin. There's only one way these women could know anything about kintama, right?" Zoro asked.

"Indeed, Swordsman-san."

Zoro sighed. ___Why do I follow such a captain...__  
_  
"I am deeply sorry, Miss, but I have no kintama because I am just bones," Brook answered regretfully. "Perhaps I can persuade one of my crewmates..."

"Don't ask me, I've had enough abuse of ___my _kintama while on this crew," Franky said, glaring at Robin, who gave him a friendly smile back.

Zoro decided that was enough talk about their nether regions and cleared his throat significantly. "We mean you no harm. We're only here to get our captain back. So if you'll just take us to him..."

Their women's faces fell and they exchanged sad glances. "Perhaps you should come talk to our empress Hebihime-sama first," Margaret said. "Kikyou, since they're Luffy's nakama they should be okay, right?"

"Yes," the black-haired woman responded, with obvious reluctance. "Hebihime-sama would wish to see them. Escort them to Kuja Castle!"

**...**

After a short trek up the mountainside they entered the village of Amazon Lily. Robin looked around with obvious fascination, pointing out various items of interest in the country's architecture. They, in turn, were viewed with the same degree of fascination. They were gawked at, all unusual aspects of their appearance pointed out, such as Sanji's curly eyebrow and Usopp's long nose. One woman even darted up to Franky to pinch at his skin and was very obviously disappointed when it didn't stretch.

"Oi, girlie, what's up with that?" Franky frowned, staring as she melted back into the crowd.

Margaret was the one who answered. "Luffy-san's skin stretches like that, so we thought all men must be stretchy as well!" Which, they supposed, made sense in a weird way.

They were told to wait in the main hall of the castle as their arrival was announced to the empress. They waited. And waited. Finally, they were told that the most senior among them would be admitted into the empress's presence.

"Why can't all of us go?" Sanji asked.

"It is Hebihime-sama's command," was all her attendants would say.

"So what exactly does that mean, 'senior'?" Usopp asked. "Brook?"

"I think she means the first mate," Nami said. "So, Zoro, I guess that's you."

"I'm ___not _first mate. Luffy's never said so," Zoro argued.

"But you are the closest person we have to a first mate," Robin pointed out.

Zoro couldn't help but feel that when it came to diplomacy, Robin or Sanji would do a better job...well, maybe not Sanji, under these circumstances. But with all the others unanimously agreeing that it should be him, he nodded to the attendant. She bade him enter a smaller chamber, where he came face to face with Hancock, Royal Shichibukai and Empress of Amazon Lily. To the side stood two other women, both of a huge size, one with bright orange and the other, to Zoro's surprise, a bright green not unlike his own.

But it was Hancock who automatically drew the eye. Robin had said she was reputed to be the most beautiful woman in the world. Zoro wasn't much of a critic, but he had to admit she bore herself regally. But there was a haggard look to her face and a flush in her cheeks, that seemed to tell of some great strain.

He gave a brief bow, trying to remember all the audiences he'd attended as a child - which was not many, for he'd seized on every opportunity he could to skip out on them.

Hancock looked down at him disdainfully. "So, you are Luffy's nakama, then."

"Yeah. That's right," Zoro replied.

"And you are here to take him back."

He nodded.

"And why should I allow that?"

"He's our ___captain_," he growled, hand naturally finding its way to the hilts of his katana.

"Then where were you, his crew, when he went into Impel Down to rescue his beloved brother? Where were you when he went into the lions' den and almost got himself killed? Where were you when he came back here, so devastated with grief that he hasn't allowed himself a moment of rest since he first woke up?" she asked coldly.

Zoro tensed a little at the last of her questions. "If we could have been there, we would have," he replied. ___But yes, I should have been there, _he added mentally.

His answer did not seem to impress the woman. "What do you know of what happened at Marineford?" she asked.

"We know what the escapees from Impel Down told us."

"And since then?"

"Our doctor is getting briefed by Trafalgar Law, but I know he got well enough to knock down a whole bunch of your trees. And you just said he was taking Ace's death pretty badly."

A pained look crossed Hancock's face, and she put her hand over her eyes. "I went to him myself. I brought food. Lots of meat." Zoro found himself nodding subconsciously in agreement. He had to admit, she knew Luffy. Then her voice turned strained, almost brittle. "But he barely looked at me. He looked...far away. He kept saying he was weak." Zoro's heart lurched at the familiar complaint, from such an unfamiliar source. "He couldn't protect anyone. He couldn't protect his brother. He couldn't protect his crew."

Zoro frowned, inwardly cursing himself for ___his _failure to fight back, which had been the start of everything. He pulled himself together, reminding himself what he was there for. "Then he'll be better when he sees we're all okay," he reasoned.

He wasn't prepared for what happened next.

"I wish...I wish I could take all his pain away from him." The formerly-icy empress dissolved into a flood of tears.

Zoro was never much good at interpreting other people's emotions, but even he wasn't so dense he couldn't see that she had feelings for Luffy, and she had it bad. He ___really _wished it was Robin or Sanji in here right now...

"Every one of us wishes we could take away his pain, and there's not one person in the crew who would hesitate to lay down their lives for Luffy if the occasion demanded," Zoro stated. He knew that much, from Thriller Bark. Like when the idiot cook had...he shook his head to clear the memory. He had to stay alert. When he looked up at Hancock again, she had blinked away her tears and was looking down at him imperiously, almost contemptuously.

"Prove it."

This was becoming an almost regular pattern. Meet Shichibukai, fight Shichibukai, feel pain at the hands of said Shichibukai. But it was nothing Zoro wasn't prepared to do.

"How?" he asked simply.

"If you truly deserve him, then your request to take him away will be made with a pure heart," she replied. "If you have a single wicked desire in your heart, I will turn you into stone, and smash you into pieces. If you fear judgment, then say so and I will spare you. But then you and your crew must leave immediately, without Luffy."

Turn into stone. Get Luffy back. Turn into stone. Get Luffy back.

It wasn't even a choice Zoro had to consciously make.

"I will not leave without Luffy."

"Very well. On your own head be it. Mero Mero Mellow!"

Zoro looked down at himself. No stone he could see. "Er, was something supposed to happen?"

"What is with Luffy's crew? Are they all so pure-hearted?" The green-haired woman was staring at him as if he was some kind of freak, and he knew it wasn't because of the colour of his hair.

"Mero Mero Mellow!" Hancock tried again.

"It's true, then! They really are a crew of saints!" This time it was the orange-haired woman voicing her amazement.

Being called a "saint" made a change from being called a demon, but it was going just a little bit far, Zoro reflected.

"Mero Mero Mellow!"

Zoro finally figured out what was going on. Hers was a Devil's Fruit power, and he still had bits of seastone embedded in his skin. Well, at least there was ___one _positive outcome to having that seastone crate crash about him...he'd have to thank the shit cook later.

But if there was one thing he was good at, it was keeping a secret. "Y'know, I don't think this is working," he shrugged.

Hancock put down her hands, chewing on her lip as she examined him again, this time with a touch more respect. "Very well. I will allow you to take Luffy away if - and only if - you help him recover."

"We will," Zoro said, projecting more confidence than he felt. Luffy grieving. Luffy in true emotional pain. Luffy thinking himself weak. It was nothing they had ever had to deal with before.

"Mari, Sonia, have an escort arranged to bring them to where Luffy is," Hancock directed. She looked at Zoro, her eyes almost pleading. "Good luck, swordsman."

"I'll do my best," was all Zoro could promise.

**...**

They returned to their original path, making their way through the jungle to where Luffy was. They stopped at the edge of the sandy expanse, surveying the damage around them, a physical embodiment of Luffy's grief and pain. And then they heard a heart-rending wail, in a voice that they had never thought was capable of making such a sound.

Zoro looked around at the crew's horrified faces. "Let's go," he signalled grimly.

Before they could go much further in the direction of that tormented sound, a blue-skinned man appeared from amidst the trees. "Jimbei, a Fishman, and former Shichibukai," Robin reminded them quietly. Nami stiffened a little at the mention of his race.

"Don't worry, Nami-san," Sanji said softly, remembering the reports from the Impel Down escapees. "He's a friend." She relaxed.

The Fishman seemed to have no trouble identifying them either. "You must be Luffy-kun's crew. I cannot allow you all to see him."

"Why not?" Zoro demanded. He was getting tired of all the hurdles everyone was throwing in their way. Luffy ___needed _them, dammit!

"He cannot take the shock of meeting so many of you at once. I will not stop you from seeing him, only ask that you send one person to prepare him first. I am concerned only for Luffy-kun's own well-being."

"Maybe Luffy's stronger than you think," Zoro pointed out.

"I have stayed by his side for all these terrible days. I think I know what he is psychologically ready for or not," Jimbei replied, seriously but without accusation.

Zoro blinked. "Okay. ___Now _who do we send?" He was all for sending Usopp, as the one crew member who not only spent the most time with Luffy but also had a proven track record in comforting people who were sick and grieving. But once again, the consensus swung around to him.

"I think Luffy-bro would listen to you, Zoro-bro," Franky said.

"I second the motion," Brook said solemnly, and Usopp voiced his approval as well.

"Much as I hate to impose on you, Swordsman-san, I believe you are the best choice," Robin said, and Nami nodded.

He looked at Sanji, who shrugged. "Go on, Zoro. Bring Luffy back. And don't forget this." He handed Zoro the box he'd carried all the way from the ship. Zoro ___had _almost forgotten.

He nodded and accepted it, along with the hopes of all the crew, then squared his shoulders and took a step towards what would surely be the hardest conversation of his life.

* * *

**A/N:** One left to go! Comments of any kind, including concrit, are more than welcome. Thank you.


	22. Recovering Luffy, Theme: Fire, Kplus

Man, this story is now so Alternative Timeline it's not even funny. And kinda OOC also, in the case of some characters we've seen more of since then. Oh well. Last in the four-parter!

******Title: **Recovering Luffy  
******Theme: **Set #3 - Fire  
******Claim: **Zoro  
******Words: **4050  
******Rating: **K+  
******Warnings: **Spoilers for the Marineford arc and after. Fluff.  
******Disclaimers: **I don't own One Piece.  
**A/N:** I was working towards this picture by sybile in this piece: [pics. livejournal. com /sybile/pic/000z5735/g18]. Thanks for the inspiration!

* * *

Ten steps away from the hunched, kneeling body of his captain, it belatedly occurred to Zoro that his seastone-infused presence might very well prove toxic to his Devil's Fruit user of a captain. He tensed, ready to push Luffy away with the flat of a katana, waiting for the moment when Luffy would undoubtedly fling himself happily on Zoro.

It didn't happen.

Luffy had definitely sensed his presence, he knew, from the slight tilt of his head when he approached. But he hadn't gotten up. Hadn't looked around. Hadn't even said a word of welcome.

This was going to be a lot tougher than he'd thought. Zoro began racking his brains trying to remember the lines Usopp had been practising, for overcoming the awkwardness of this very moment. "Opening Line #723! Hiya, Luffy! The great Captain Usopp-sama is back! Let me tell you about my adventures with the mighty Heracles..."

No, that wouldn't work. Best to stick to his own way of doing things.

So Zoro knelt down a measured distance away from Luffy, and waited quietly until his captain was ready to talk.

Occasionally he would cast a cautious glance Luffy's way, take in the bandages - far more bandages than Chopper had put on him after Thriller Bark, and Law didn't seem the kind of doctor who would put on extra bandages just in case - and force himself to suppress his fury and frustration.

Where was Bartholomew Kuma when you actually wanted him, anyway?

It took a while, but finally Luffy spoke.

"Is it really you this time, Zoro?" His voice was hoarse, his face hidden in the shadows.

"Yeah. It's me," Zoro replied, wondering what Luffy meant by "this time". "The others are here too. Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Chopper, Robin, Franky, Brook. They're all here. They're all okay."

There was a silence. Then Luffy choked out, "Ace isn't okay."

"No," Zoro said heavily, "Ace isn't okay."

Luffy raised his head slightly and looked at the box sitting in front of Zoro. "What's that?"

"Shanks sent it." Luffy looked startled at the name. "When we returned to Sabaody Archipelago, he sent a messenger to give it to us. He asked that we deliver it to you." Zoro slid the box towards Luffy. Luffy stared at it for a moment, then stretched out an arm for it and opened it with trembling hands.

Zoro knew what it was the moment Luffy took it out of the box, even though he had never seen one before in his life, only felt their effects. The swirly spirals, not unlike Sanji's eyebrows, were distinctive, and in this fruit in particular, were a fiery red. A Devil's Fruit...Ace's, Zoro realised. Luffy might as well be staring at Ace's dead body.

_Oh shit._

"Ace. ___Ace__._ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!"

___What the hell is Shanks thinking, sending him a thing like that?__  
_  
Zoro clenched his fists as his captain screamed his grief to the heavens, remembering a time when it had been ___him _staring at the body of a girl who was his best friend and rival.

"He promised! He promised he wouldn't die! He ___promised _he'd always be there! So his weak little brother wouldn't ever be alone!" Luffy sobbed.

Just as it had once been him raging at Kuina for abandoning their vow just after they'd sworn it together.

Now that the words were coming, Luffy didn't seem able to stop the flood. "But he died! And it's all my fault! Because I was _weak_! What kind of...what kind of captain...what kind of pirate ___king_...lets his nakama disappear...lets his brother die..."

But there was one crucial difference between Kuina and Ace. Kuina's death was accidental. Pointless. Regretful. If she had had the chance to live that moment again, things would have turned out differently. But Ace, he knew, would have done the exact same thing, and stood in Akainu's way again, even knowing the consequences.

"Luffy!" Zoro said sternly.

Luffy stopped short, blinking through red-rimmed eyes at Zoro.

"You freed Ace. You let him die the way he would've wanted, a free man, guarding the person he cherished the most. You did what you could. _No one _could have done more."

"But he _shouldn't _have died protecting me, like I was still his little brother who was too weak to protect himself!" Luffy raged at himself.

"Luffy, you are ___not _weak."

"Liar."

Coming from a kid who lapped up Usopp's stories as if they came straight out of Robin's history books, that seemed a bit ironic.

"D'you think _I'm _weak?"

The question came so abruptly Luffy just blinked up at him for a moment. Then he shook his head no.

"I've thought I was weak every day since I was ten. I fought her two thousand times and I lost every single time. I trained and trained but it was never enough. It was frustrating. Humiliating. Then Sensei said something I never forgot."

"What?" Luffy asked, in a hoarse whisper.

"He said that no one is ever weak. They're just not strong enough yet. It's not a reason to give up. It's only a reason to train harder." He'd also gone on to warn Zoro about the risks of training himself ___too_hard, but Zoro decided to omit that part. "And when I fought Mihawk...I thought I was ready. I'd trained nine years for that moment. But when we started fighting, it was like fighting ___her _all over again. I didn't even stand a chance. But it was good to get that kick in the pants. It reminded me to stop being such a slacker and start getting stronger."

Luffy made an odd face at him, as if to say, "Slacker? You?", but then he looked down again, studying his hands intently, as if he could still see Ace's blood on them.

"Mihawk told me that the path to Pirate King would be difficult. I never thought it would hurt this much." To Zoro, Luffy's quiet, strained voice was almost frightening. It was as if his captain had aged ten years overnight. "I'm not sure I can do it, Zoro."

Zoro was rather glad, now, that Jimbei had stopped all of them from going and talking to Luffy at once, that he would be the only one to see his captain this broken. He had to give his captain his confidence back, and the only way he knew how was to give him _his_.

"Luffy, if I thought you were weak, I wouldn't be following you."

Luffy gave a choked sort of sound.

"If Shanks didn't think you could handle it, he wouldn't have sent this to you."

Luffy's fists clenched.

"The only thing Ace will ___never _forgive you for is if you give up on your dream now."

It was strange to hear himself talking as if he'd known Ace his whole life, when he'd only spent minutes in the other man's presence. But somehow, Zoro knew that was just what the freckled, black-haired man would have said.

Because Luffy was as much Zoro's little brother now as he was Ace's.

"But he ___promised_!"

"He knew you're no longer his weak little brother. He knew there would always be someone to take care of you. _We'll _take care of you, Luffy. All of us."

The tears were streaming down Luffy's face now, but somehow Zoro knew he'd turned a corner.

"Remember that song you asked Brook to compose for the crew to sing? 'We are Family'?"

Luffy nodded, and almost smiled through his tears as he said, "You said it was stupid. You'd only sing it because I ordered you to."

"Yeah, well...it's kinda true, right? We're your family. You have a whole bunch of older brothers...and a younger brother...and sisters and stuff. You're not alone. Ace knew that."

There was a sobbing silence. Then Luffy suddenly took Ace's Devil's Fruit and stretched his arm out to hand it to Zoro. "Huh? Luffy?"

"If you're gonna be my older brother, I want you to have it."

"Ace's Devil's Fruit?" The Fire Logia, huh? He couldn't deny it wasn't a useful ability, one that could practically guarantee victory over most opponents.

But it was too easy. Zoro didn't do easy. He didn't want anyone to ever be able to say that he only managed to become World's Greatest Swordsman by luck, or because of a Devil's Fruit.

"Thanks, Luffy, but I've got seastone all over me right now. If I ate a Devil's Fruit right now that'd be...bad."

"That's okay! You can eat it later." Luffy's voice was still hoarse, but a hint of his usual chirpiness was returning.

Luffy could be a little ___too _insistent at times. Zoro racked his brains for an excuse, and came up with the perfect one. "If I ate that, we'd have five Devil's Fruit users and only four non-Devil's Fruit users on board."

"So?"

"So, if all five of us fell into the water, there wouldn't be enough people to save them, idiot." More to the point, if Luffy fell into the water, ___Zoro _wouldn't be able to save him, and he would miss that, no matter how much he scolded Luffy every time it happened.

"Then what do we do with it?" Luffy asked. "Will one of the others eat it?"

Zoro felt pretty confident the answer would be no. No one would want to take away Luffy's only memento of Ace, now that the Vivrecard was undoubtedly gone.

"We'll plant it," he said decisively. A Devil's Fruit was still a fruit, right? "Next to Nami's mikan trees." After all, those were Nami's tribute to her mother, too...

Luffy smiled for the first time. "Zoro has the best ideas!" He set the Devil's Fruit back in its box carefully. "Ahhhh!" his eyes widened.

"What happened?" Zoro panicked.

Luffy clapped his hands to his bare head. "Hat! Where's Hat?" He looked around desperately. "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"

"Where did you leave it _this _time?" Zoro looked around with him, panicking even more. Hadn't Shanks given it back to Luffy? If Luffy lost that hat, what would it mean for his dream?

"Over here, Luffy!" Luffy and Zoro turned to see Chopper galloping towards them in Walk Point, a familiar straw hat in his mouth, followed by the rest of the Strawhats.

"HAT! Where did you find it, Chopper?" Luffy took it eagerly.

"Doctor Law said he forgot to give it to us just now. Are you okay, Luffy? You got really hurt!"

Luffy didn't answer. He was staring contemplatively at his hat, the symbol of so much promise. "Shanks. Ace. Watch me. I'm gonna get stronger, and I won't lose to anyone ever again! Until I become Pirate King, I won't lose again!" He looked at Zoro. "Got a problem with that, World's Greatest Swordsman?"

Zoro grinned back. "Nope!" He saw the others looking at him, silently asking if everything was all right now. He nodded, giving them the go-ahead.

"Luffy, you idiot! How could you go get yourself so beat up when our backs were turned? If you ever try pulling a stunt like that again, I promise you, your debt's gonna be as high as Zoro's!"

"Sowwy Nawi," Luffy replied, voice muffled by the force of her hug.

Next it was Usopp's turn to embrace his captain. "I've all sorts of stories to tell you once you get better, Luffy! Awesome stories! About an island of man-eating plants, and a hero named Heracles!"

"Awesome, Usopp!" Luffy looked at the blond-haired cook, and before he could say anything, demanded, "Sanji, I want MEAT! I'm starving!"

Sanji shook his head in mock despair. "Same ol' captain." But he smiled when Luffy wrapped his arms around him tightly, and returned the gesture.

Meanwhile, Chopper had returned to his usual form and was hugging Luffy tightly on the leg. "I'm so glad you're okay, Luffy! Law told me some really horrible things!"

"Don't worry about me, Chopper! I'm made of rubber, after all!"

"That's not an excuse for not taking care of your body!" Chopper said indignantly, but Luffy just smiled.

Robin shot Zoro a glance of gratitude, then bent down gracefully to give Luffy a fond embrace. "I'm glad to see you back to normal, Luffy."

"I'm happy to see you too, Robin!" Luffy squeezed her tightly.

"Wahhhhhhhhh!" Franky wailed as he snatched Luffy up in a bear-hug. "It's super to see you in one piece, Luffy-bro!"

"You too, Franky!"

Zoro flinched a little bit as Brook took his turn, squeezing his captain in such a bone-crushing grip Zoro could see Luffy's body bulge out in strange places. Just as well that Luffy's bones were rubber. But he forgave Brook, remembering what the musician had gone through with his first captain.

"I am...astonished, Zoro-kun." Zoro looked around to see the Fishman Jimbei watching the scene with equal parts relief and puzzlement. "I have tried for days to talk some sense into him. What did you say to effect this transformation?"

Zoro watched as the other Strawhats began yet another cuddle session, apparently deciding one round of hugs wasn't enough after so long apart. His lips quirked up in a smile, and he shrugged. "I just told him the truth."

"Zoroooooo!"

"Yeah, Luffy," Zoro responded immediately to the summons.

"I want a hug from you too!" Luffy demanded.

Zoro rolled his eyes. "I just told you, Luffy, I have seastone all over me."

"I don't care!"

Zoro looked at Chopper questioningly, not wanting to be responsible for weakening Luffy even further. But Chopper nodded reassuringly. Apparently the seastone wouldn't have any long-term effects on Luffy. Zoro sighed, and said with pretended reluctance, "Is that a captain's order?"

"Yup!" Luffy confirmed cheerily. "Captain's orders!"

"Oh, all right then," Zoro "grumbled". He allowed Luffy to wrap his arms around him. Immediately he felt Luffy's muscles relax, and he quickly did the same to prevent Luffy from sliding off. He felt a smile stretch across Luffy's face.

"I feel sleepy," Luffy mumbled.

"Yeah, I'm not surprised."

"Carry me?"

Zoro gave a put-out sigh. "You're a real pain, you know that?"

"Ace used to tell me that all the time," Luffy smiled sleepily at him, then closed his eyes and began to snore.

A smile tugged at Zoro's cheeks. He knew Luffy wasn't completely fixed yet. The pain of losing Ace would continue to sting for a long while afterwards. But Luffy was safe, he hadn't given up on his future, hadn't given up on ___them_, and that was all he could hope for. He shifted Luffy into a more comfortable position and hoisted him up. "C'mon, captain. Let's go home."

**...**

As it was, they were escorted back to the palace, where they were received by a grateful empress, who practically flung herself onto Zoro when she learned he was the reason for Luffy's recovery. Being a Devil's Fruit user, she practically fainted in his arms.

"Gah! What the hell?" Zoro thrust her back into her sisters' arms as soon as he could. What was ___with _all these Devil's Fruit users? Couldn't they tell he was bad for them right now?

Hancock pulled herself together just enough to thank him verbally, blushing all the while, eyes shining brightly. Then she excused herself to go and rest. Zoro's eyes followed her out, a little confused. ___What the hell just happened...?_

Because she wasn't ready to sail yet, and in recognition of their part in helping Luffy get better, the Heart Pirates were finally permitted to step out of their camp and take up temporary residence in Kuja Castle. It was rather amusing for the other Strawhats to see Chopper and Law arguing passionately over the best way to continue Luffy's treatment.

Within a day, Luffy was eating in his sleep, Sanji taking over the Palace kitchens to prepare him all the dishes he knew his captain loved the most, fortifying them with the recipes he had learned on Kamabakka. A day after that, Luffy was back on his feet, and the women of Amazon Lily threw a party to celebrate his recovery. It was, perhaps, a little more muted than it would have been under happier circumstances, but everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, apart from all the poking and prodding the male members of the crew had to put up with, with, perhaps, one exception.

Zoro was pulled aside at one point in the festivities and asked to attend on the Pirate Empress. "Huh? Why me?"

"Hebihime-sama asked for you ___personally_," the attendant, whom Zoro now knew was named Enishida, whispered.

Zoro followed her up to the shichibukai's quarters, still rather perplexed. He grew even more uneasy when he was ushered into the innermost sanctum, where Hancock probably slept. He was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to be here! He told himself not to panick, as the ero-cook would undoubtedly do. Then again, when he thought about it, it was odd that Sanji wasn't passing out from a nosebleed every other minute, given the number of pretty women here, not to mention the skimpy attire they wore...

"Oneesama, Roronoa Zoro is here," Marigold whispered to the woman lying in bed.

Hancock turned towards him, and Zoro was shocked to see that she was, if anything, even sicker than when he'd first met her. "Oi...oi! Shouldn't you see a doctor?"

"This isn't an illness that can be cured with medicine," an old woman standing by the side of the bed said gravely.

"Try telling Chopper that," Zoro snorted. "What's it called?"

"This is the love virus! It killed the previous empress, and the empress before that!" the woman intoned dramatically.

"HUH? Love virus? Wait, are you saying Luffy can't leave the island because she's in love with him?" Zoro's eyes narrowed.

Hancock stirred. "Did you just say 'I love you'?"

"NO, I DID NOT! What the hell is with this woman?" Zoro demanded.

"How rude and insolent! Don't forget who you are addressing!" Sandersonia huffed.

"It's all right, Sonia," Hancock assured her. "Familiar forms of address are the mark of true love, after all!"

"LOVE? Who's in love? I thought it was Luffy she was obsessed with?"

"Up until the moment when you held me in your arms," Hancock whispered feebly. "I was overcome at that moment with pure joy! So that I almost fainted in your arms! Even now, I can feel the effect being close to you has on my body!"

"No, wait, that's the sea- " Zoro paused, desperately wondering whether telling them about the seastone was a good idea, given that it was all that had stood between him and petrification two days ago. "Gah! I can't deal with this! CHOPPER!"

"I told you, there's no medical cure - hey! Come back!"

"What is it, Zoro?" Chopper asked, when Zoro made it back to the party yelling for him. Zoro gathered the rest of the Strawhats into a corner and quickly explained the situation.

"So Hancock's in love with ___you_, Zoro?" Nami asked.

Sanji muttered something about love truly being blind.

Nami burst into peals of laughter, and Zoro shot her a scandalised look. "It's ___not _funny! They say that if I don't remain behind, she'll die!"

"And you say that before, she was in love with Luffy?" Robin clarified.

Zoro nodded. "That's why she agreed to go to Impel Down with him."

"Oh, she was in love with me?" Luffy said, digging his nose energetically. "That explains why Hancock would go around naked in front of me and everything."

"LUFFY!" They shot him a dirty look. Zoro could have throttled Luffy.

"Naked? No p-p-panties?" Brook slobbered. Zoro could have throttled _h____im_, if there was any way to do that to a skeleton.

"You're both such lucky guys," Bepo said mournfully.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Zoro glared at the white bear, then turned urgently to the crew doctor. "Anyway, Chopper, can you do anything?"

"Me? But, Zoro, if it really is a love virus, then it's beyond the control of medical science!"

Zoro groaned, his last hope disappearing. "I don't think our captain can do anything either," Bepo volunteered. "He said before he only takes care of physical problems, not emotional ones. He can remove her heart, if you like, but she'd probably die after a while anyway."

"Well, _thanks _for being so constructive," Zoro said acidly.

Sanji took a contemplative puff on his cigarette. "So you really want to get Hancock-chan to stop loving you?"

"Yeah!"

"I wouldn't do it if I were you," Bepo fretted.

"It's none of your damned business!"

"Hundred percent sure?" Sanji asked.

"YES, I'M SURE."

"You said it." Sanji strolled away in the direction of Hancock's quarters.

The others exchanged confused looks. "What the hell does curly-brow think ___he _can do?" Zoro asked.

Sanji came sauntering back five minutes later. "Problem solved," he said airily, waving his cigarette. "You're safe, marimo. But you owe me one."

"Huh? Just like that?"

"Just like that," Sanji confirmed.

"Too bad," Bepo said dejectedly. "You _were_ such a lucky guy..." He wandered off, and Zoro looked at Sanji, still mystified.

"But...how?"

"You don't think I only learned attack cuisine on that island, do you?" Sanji smirked.

Zoro decided that he was never going to tease Sanji about Kamabakka ever again.

"Oh, so Sanji has mystery okama powers now? Awesome!" Luffy butted his head in. Of course, Luffy being Luffy, his question was loud enough the entire hall of women and two pirate crews turned to stare at Sanji.

Sanji shot Zoro a glare dripping with pure venom.

"It wasn't me! I swear!" Zoro hastily denied.

"Well, if it wasn't ___you _who told him, who else could it be?"

Realisation struck them simultaneously, and they turned to the only other person present who had been there at Sanji's retrieval. "_ROBIN-CHWAAAAAAN?_"

**...**

They set sail the next morning in the company of the Heart Pirates and Hancock's pirate ship, bidding goodbye to the friends they had made on Amazon Lily at the docks.

"Goodbye, Strawhats!" Margaret called. "It was nice meeting you all!"

"Same here!" Nami called back, waving.

Luffy hailed Jimbei, who seemed to be about to board the Heart Pirates' submarine. "Oi, Jimbei, d'you want a lift? We're gonna go to Fishman Island next! You're from there, right?"

"What're you doing going back that way?" Law asked. "Now that you have your seastone-coated hull, you can cross into South Blue and take one of the easier passes through the Red Line. Hell, you can just go straight to the end of West Blue and cross back just before Reverse Mountain and get to One Piece before anyone else does."

Usopp sighed loudly. "He just doesn't get it, does he, Chopper?"

"Nope! I thought you were cleverer than that, Doctor Law!" Chopper giggled.

Law frowned. He had thought he _was_ being clever. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, Usopp, whaddaya mean?" Luffy asked.

"C'mon everyone, let's tell him!" Usopp raised his arms like a conductor.

"We don't wanna go on a boring adventure!" the Strawhats chorused.

For the first time in weeks, Luffy laughed.

* * *

**A/N: **And that's the end of the arc! Now to look forward to the actual reunion in the manga, which will be a million times more spectacular! Comments of any kind, including concrit, are always welcome. Thank you.


	23. Appeal Play, Theme: Baseball, K

******Title: **Appeal Play  
******Theme: **Set #3 - Baseball  
******Claim:**Zoro  
******Words: **330  
******Rating: **K  
******Disclaimer:**I don't own One Piece. I also know nothing about baseball...

* * *

Zoro, everyone would agree, was a sound sleeper.

He didn't wake up even as the three kids argued at the tops of their voices over the rules. He didn't stir at the crack of bat against ball, even as everyone else turned around to watch. His only discernible reaction to the ball colliding against his head was the annoyed arch of an eyebrow. The yells of "Get the ball, Luffy! Tag Chopper!" went in one ear and out the other, the thought that it was odd for Luffy to dive past him for the ball rather than stretching for it forgotten as quickly as it was formed, his mind valiantly striving to ignore the whimpers of fear growing in volume as two hooves squeaked rapidly towards him.

But even the soundest of sleepers would be woken up by two bodies ramming into him at top speed, the one fastening onto his head, the other glomping onto his side, knocking the breath - and the thought of sleep - out of his body.

"GOTCHA!"

"Dammit, you lot...how many times do I have to tell you not to make me a base?" he complained, muffled voice gradually becoming clear as he plucked Chopper off his head and placed him in his lap.

His objections were, as usual, ignored as Luffy picked himself up and crowed triumphantly, "You're out, Chopper!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

Zoro heaved a loud sigh, lamenting for the loss of his afternoon. It sure didn't look like he was going to be getting back to his nap anytime soon.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"I was safe, Zoro, wasn't I?" Chopper pleaded.

Zoro looked down at Chopper, still ensconced in his lap, wide, child-like eyes gazing hopefully up into his, hooves clasped together in mute appeal. He sighed again, this time at his own weakness, and subconsciously tightened his hold on the little reindeer.

"Yeah, Chopper. You're safe."

**

* * *

**

**A/N:** Oh, the fluff, it ___tickles_!

Ahem. Sorry 'bout the shortness, but I know close to nothing about baseball (which was the theme). And I wanted to show that Zoro eventually recovered from the seastone. :-P Reactions of any kind, including concrit, are welcome as always. Thanks.


	24. A Day as a Demon, Theme:Water, T

******Title: **A Day as a Demon  
******Theme: **Set #3 - Water  
******Claim: **Zoro  
******Words: **3513  
******Rating:** T for language.  
******Disclaimers: **I don't own One Piece.  
******Acknowledgments: **Thanks to ZeldaAddict42 for beta-ing this!

* * *

Ordinarily, Sanji didn't fuss too much about what the marimo got up to when he wasn't wielding his swords against Sanji's steel-toed shoes. Outside of their daily fights, as far as Sanji knew, Zoro ate and slept and trained, and little else.

That held true so long as he ___did _eat. Zoro would occasionally skip a meal here, a meal there, but never more than two, and he knew enough about his own body to make up for it with extra rations, which Sanji was always willing to provide, even if it was the marimo and even if it was his own damn fault for skipping meals. No one on this crew was going to go hungry while Sanji was the Strawhats' cook.

But he'd now missed breakfast and lunch, and that was on top of dinner the night before. Sanji was sure that even the marimo couldn't have penetrated the tight security of the fridge, and he was equally sure no one had brought Zoro anything either. For that matter, none of them had actually seen Zoro since he'd disappeared into the crow's nest yesterday afternoon to train, though several of them had tried to go up and talk to him, only to be curtly rebuffed with an "I'm busy", or "Not hungry", or "Leave me alone". Forcing the hatch didn't work because Zoro seemed to have left one of his ridiculously large weights square over the hole. The curtains had been drawn all around the windows so that Luffy couldn't see inside, even if he rocketed up there to take a peek. It was highly uncharacteristic of Zoro to hide from the crew, and the Strawhats would have been really anxious by now if not for the constant swoosh of the weights that told them he was all right.

Sanji muttered angrily to himself about inconsiderate mossheads as he made up a plate of leftovers and a nutritious drink to take up to the crow's nest. He might be busy, he might be antisocial, but no way was he not hungry by now. He clambered up the ladder and rapped sharply against the door. "Oi! Marimo! I brought you some food!"

"I said I wasn't hungry!" Oddly enough, Zoro's voice sounded rather echoey. Sanji didn't remember the crow's nest being that cavernous. Was it the effect of the curtains?

"I don't care, you're eating anyway!" Sanji braced one leg against the top rung of the ladder and kicked upwards. "Ow! What d'you have up there, a tonne of bricks?"

"Two tonnes of weights, actually. Forget it, cook, you'll never make it."

The tone of Zoro's voice, which seemed to drip with thrice the condescension it usually did, provided the exact impetus Sanji needed. "Anti-Manner Kick Course!" This time he jolted the weight enough that it rolled off the hatch and he burst through. "All right, marimo, you're gonna take what you're given and eat...it..." his voice trailed off to a horrified stop as he suddenly realised why Zoro hadn't wanted to come down and face the crew.

**...**

The rest of the crew had gathered at the bottom of the mast. "Oi! Sanji! What's going on?" Usopp shouted, disturbed by the tense silence that followed the cook's grand entrance. "Is Zoro okay?"

His concerned query was met with a sudden shriek of laughter, followed by Zoro's indignant voice. "It's ___not _funny!"

"Phew, it sounds like Zoro's okay at least," Chopper said in relief. He'd been the most concerned out of all the Strawhats, and really hurt to have been turned away by Zoro.

"Anyway, just come on down, marimo. Let the others have a good belly-laugh," they heard Sanji saying.

"Just...get out there and prepare them at least," Zoro growled back in response.

Sanji slid down the mast, clearly dying with laughter. They waited a few moments for him to spit it out, then Nami sighed and conked him on the head. "_Well_?"

"Ah, sorry, Nami-san," Sanji spluttered. "He...uh..." Sanji paused a moment to collect himself, trying to think of a way to break the news. "You know how ugly the marimo is, right? Well, he's thrice as ugly now. Thrice as marimo, too."

"I don't get it," Chopper said, looking puzzled.

"You call that preparing them?" Zoro yelled.

"Stop being a pansy and just show them, marimo," Sanji called upwards.

"Fine, fine," Zoro grumbled. "Just...don't freak out, okay?" He leapt down the mast and landed on deck.

They stared at Zoro. Blinked. He glared back. Out of three heads. Six arms folded across his three chests. "What?" he barked out of three mouths. "You've all seen this before!"

Usopp and Chopper promptly passed out on deck.

"Woooooooow!" Luffy's eyes were sparkling at his three-headed, six-armed crewmate. "Zoro, that's so cool!" He began pinching and prodding Zoro's new arms, to see if they were real, and Franky likewise began an interested inspection.

"___See _why I didn't want to show them, now?" Zoro demanded.

"But...how did this happen?" Nami asked.

"Overtraining, I guess," Zoro grunted. "I spent too long practising this move and I kinda got stuck."

"How very interesting," Robin commented.

Chopper and Usopp began to revive and, seeing that Cerberus-Zoro really wasn't a dream, fainted again.

"So it's like when you've pulled a muscle and it gets stuck?" Franky asked.

Zoro frowned, three times. "Not really. This move is more of an illusion."

"An illusion? But Zoro, I can feel they're real!" Luffy disagreed, his long rubbery arms squishing Zoro's three faces.

"Will you cut that out! No, it's more like I have only one head, but I can feel it in three places at once. It's kinda hard to explain. I can't move each of them independently, that's for sure."

"So if we cut off any of your heads, that would be equivalent to cutting your actual head off?" Robin queried blandly.

"Nobody's cutting off any heads!" Zoro said, turning a horrified look on the archaeologist, clutching his swords closer to his body.

"What are we going to do?" Chopper asked, apparently accepting at last that triple-headed Zoro really was Zoro and that he was going to be triple-headed for some time. "I've never seen this in any medical book..." He looked so forlorn that Zoro couldn't help himself. He bent down and picked up the reindeer, who immediately multiplied into three.

"Awesome! We have three Choppers too! Do me now, do me!"

Sighing, Zoro picked up Luffy under his other arm and soon they had three captains as well.

"Can you see three of me now?" Luffy asked excitedly.

"Yes, Luffy, there are three of you," Nami humoured him. "So, Zoro, do you know how to fix yourself?"

"Yeah. Sleep."

_Of course_, everyone thought. Zoro's one-stop solution to every medical problem.

"Then why don't you?"

"Can't," Zoro grunted.

"Why not?"

"Can't find a good position for my head - or heads. Something always gets in the way." Zoro rubbed the backs of three necks. "It's damn annoying."

After a few more minutes of ribbing, poking, and questioning, Zoro announced that he was going to try and get some sleep anyway and he didn't want to hear any noise from any of them. They drifted back to their usual occupations, each thinking furiously about how to turn Zoro back to normal, while he tried to catch a few winks on deck, only to be disturbed a short while later to find all three of his heads being squished together by Luffy.

"OI! STOP THAT!"

"But Zoro, I was only trying to help!" Luffy pouted, nursing the gigantic bump on his head.

"How is squeezing my head like a vise 'helping'?" Zoro roared.

"Captain-san probably thought that if he squeezed all three of your heads into a single space they would be forced to meld into one," Robin came to Luffy's rescue, and he nodded vigorously in agreement.

Zoro's mouth twisted. "Okay, whatever. Just...leave me alone." He worked the cricks out of his neck, deciding that trying to sleep was futile. He looked up at the limp sails and announced, "I'm going for a swim."

"Can I come too?" Luffy perked up.

"_No_. Oi, Robin, look after these for me, okay?" He laid his katana carefully on deck atop his shirt and haramaki.

"Of course. Have a good time, Swordsman-san." Robin waved as Zoro dived into the water.

"I wish ___I _could go swimming," Luffy pouted, joining Robin at the handrail that wound its way around the whole ship.

"Devil's Fruits can be quite inconvenient at times, isn't that so, Captain-san?"

"Yeah, but I like being rubber! It doesn't hurt so much when everyone hits me," Luffy said chirpily. "What about you, Robin, do you miss being able to swim? Robin?" he prompted again, when the archaeologist didn't answer, seemingly lost in thought as she stared at the calm sea beneath them.

"No, Captain-san," she answered a moment later, as if the pause had never happened. "I ate the Devil's Fruit when I was very young, and I never knew how to swim beforehand. I cannot say I miss it."

"Robin-chwaaaaaaan!" They both looked around as Sanji twirled his way onto the deck, bearing a glass of blue liquid topped with an umbrella. "Robin-chwan! I brought you a nice, cool fruit drink!"

"Thank you, Cook-san." Robin accepted the glass.

"What about mine, Sanji?" Luffy asked.

"In the galley." Sanji pointed with his cigarette.

"Yahoo!" Luffy bounded away enthusiastically, Sanji taking his place next to Robin, carefully avoiding the swords and clothes on deck as he did so. "Zoro went swimming, Robin-chan?"

"Yes, Cook-san, he did."

"Wonder whether one of his marimo heads will forget how to hold its breath," Sanji muttered.

"Why, are you worried, Cook-san?" Robin asked with a smile as she sipped on her drink.

"Of course not, Robin-chan! Me, worry about the marimo?" Sanji scoffed.

"I suppose you think he knows how to take care of himself."

"Yeah, he does," Sanji agreed.

"Otherwise you ___would _worry about him?"

"What? No, Robin-chan, you misunderstand me," Sanji assured her. "Who would care about that lazy, ill-mannered brute?"

"So you wouldn't worry about the fact that he hasn't surfaced for quite some time?"

"No, I wouldn't - wait, what?" Sanji looked anxiously at the archaeologist.

Robin nodded towards the sea. "Swordsman-san went in at least two minutes ago, and he hasn't surfaced yet," she explained.

"Oh. Well." Sanji tried to rearrange his worried features into a nonchalant expression. "Like you said, Robin-chan, the marimo knows how to take care of himself. He goes in after Luffy and Chopper all the time, doesn't he?"

"Yes, but circumstances are different now, aren't they?"

"Circumstances, Robin-chan?"

"Why can't Devil's Fruit users swim?" Robin asked rhetorically. "Because the sea rejects children of the devil. But what if the sea has mistaken Swordsman-san's current, rather ___demonic _form and taken his strength away from him as well?"

"What? Robin-chan...are you saying Zoro can't swim right now?" Sanji asked, his cigarette falling out of his mouth and into the sea below.

"It's certainly a possible explanation," Robin said. She looked down at the calm waters beneath the ship. "Well, it won't take long to find out."

"How do you mean, Robin-chan?"

"If Swordsman-san returns alive, my theory will be proven false. If Swordsman-san drowns, then..."

Sanji's mouth widened in horror. "Shitty marimo idiot!" he swore, kicking off his shoes and shrugging off his jacket. He was in the water in a trice.

Robin raised an eyebrow as she looked down at the waves rippling from his entry point. ___That _experiment had been far more successful than she expected. She turned when she heard someone splash onto the deck behind her. "Ah, welcome back, Swordsman-san. You swam under the ship?"

"Yeah," Zoro's three heads replied, shaking the water from his hair. "Franky said he was worried about cracks in the hull coating, so I took a look. There aren't any."

"You should have said so, Swordsman-san," Robin chided him lightly. "You got Cook-san quite worried."

Zoro looked at the jacket and the dress shoes lying higgledy-piggledy on deck and frowned. "He went in after me? Why? I can take perfect care of myself. Stupid curlybrow."

Sanji surfaced at that moment. "Robin-chan, I can't find him! Can you get Franky and Usopp to come and help?" he called, his voice frantic.

"I'm right here, idiot cook," Zoro said, dripping his way to the side of the ship, looking down with some amusement at the cook's wet head.

"What? Where the hell did you go, shitty marimo?" Sanji spluttered, staring at the dripping-wet-but-definitely-not-drowning swordsman.

"Swimming, just like I said I was. What the hell possessed you to dive in after me anyway?"

"You got Robin-chan all worried, staying underwater for so long!" Sanji scolded.

Zoro raised an eyebrow as he glanced at the innocent smile on the archaeologist's face. "_Right_. She sure looks worried to me."

Sanji clambered back onto the ship. "Dammit, marimo, this is one of my best shirts. ___Was _one of my best shirts," he groused, looking down at the seawater-soaked garment.

Zoro shrugged. "Who the hell goes and takes a swim wearing a shirt and tie anyway?"

One advantage of Zoro's new form, Sanji soon discovered, was that there was three times as much surface area to aim for when kicking the marimo's face in.

**...**

By dinnertime, Zoro was thoroughly sick of being Asura, and had made that patently clear to the rest of the crew. There had been many "helpful" suggestions, some significantly less well thought-out than others. Chopper's and Brook's well-meaning offers of a sleeping draught and a lullaby respectively were both turned down, while Zoro very reluctantly consented to some of the others, under the prod of "captain's orders" and the threat of a debt increase. Finally, he'd stalked off after dinner and draped himself over the railing, staring moodily at the sea, all the while emanating as much killing aura as he could to keep the others away from him.

To Sanji, he might as well have been waving a red flag of challenge.

"Oi, marimo, if you're just gonna stand around moping, come in here and do the dishes," Sanji called from the doorway to the galley.

"Ask someone else," Zoro said grumpily.

"Whiner."

"Am not."

"Prove it," Sanji challenged.

Zoro briefly considered telling him to fuck off, but then the thought struck him that maybe washing the dishes might bore him to sleep. "Fine," he snapped back, shuffling into the galley. They settled quickly into their usual routine, even if it was weird for Sanji to see each plate multiply into three temporarily every time Zoro picked one up, before returning to being just one plate when he put it down again.

"You know, that's really freaky," he commented after a while.

"Says the man with the flaming legs," Zoro retorted. "What d'you call that move again?"

"'Diable Jambe'. It means 'Devil Leg', for the benefit of the uneducated moron."

Zoro scowled. "Just because I don't use fancy, obscure languages to name my attacks..."

"Yeah, because punning on food names is ___so _much better."

"Shut ___up_."

"It's kinda funny though," Sanji mused. "We both have demonic attacks. You have this Asura thing, and I have Diable Jambe."

"What's so funny about it? Gotta keep up with the Devil's Fruit users on this crew, don't we?" Zoro grunted.

Sanji found himself reluctantly impressed with Zoro's insight. "You know, that might be it."

"I ___know _that's it. For me, anyway," Zoro shrugged.

Sanji looked thoughtfully at Zoro, a little startled by his unusual openness. The marimo had to be more tired than he thought, letting down his guard this much. "You know, it's scary sometimes, watching Luffy," Sanji confided, passing Zoro the last plate and draining the water from the sink. "No matter how strong we get, he always pulls ahead of us."

Zoro took a moment to wipe the last dish and set it down on top of the pile. "Yeah, well, he has the most to protect."

"When we got him back this time..." Sanji trailed off. He didn't need to continue. He could see from the frown on Zoro's face that he was thinking the same thing. They didn't ever want to see Luffy so hurt again. "He strains himself too hard," he finished lamely.

"Mmm," Zoro grunted, his eyes narrowing in determination. "He does."

___But he shouldn't have to._ Sanji could read the completion of that sentence in Zoro's eyes. That was probably why Zoro trained so hard, Sanji thought. So hard he actually managed to get stuck with three heads and six arms. It was hard to laugh at the man's dedication. "Wonder whether I could get stuck in Diable Jambe if ___I _over-trained," he wondered, then cringed when he realised he'd said that aloud.

"I wouldn't have fallen for Robin's plot even if you did," Zoro smirked.

"Asshole."

"Sucker." Zoro paused to let the insult sink in, then added, with a hint of gruffness in his voice, "Thanks though."

"For what? Didn't even save you." Sanji dried his hands and lit a fresh cigarette.

"Told me I was more important than a dress shirt at least."

"Yeah, marimo, you're way up there on my priorities list, between dress shirts and my fine china."

"Yeah? Well, you're somewhere between...my haramaki and my katana."

"Really? I'm honoured," Sanji said, his tone overtly sarcastic. But when he thought about it, just behind a swordsman's katana had to be pretty high in Zoro's reckoning. "So you'd jump in to get me even if it meant destroying your haramaki, but not if you lose your katana."

"Sounds 'bout right."

"So you ___would _jump in."

"Maybe," Zoro said non-committally.

"Huh."

"Still wouldn't have fallen for Robin's tricks though."

"Bastard."

"Still a sucker."

"Here." Sanji took out a bottle of sake from the fridge and hesitated slightly as he pondered which of Zoro's six hands to thrust it into, settling for tossing it and letting the marimo decide for himself.

"What's this for?" Zoro examined the bottle.

"Help you sleep. Maybe."

"Heh. Thanks." Zoro uncapped it and downed it in a single chug. "Weird taste," he noted after a moment.

"It's from that last island we were at. They probably have some special ingredients they put in."

"That so?" Zoro murmured, suddenly realising his eyelids felt _really _heavy. He took a staggering step towards the table.

"Yeah. Oi, if you're gonna crash, do it in your own bed."

"Not gonna crash...I c'n hol' my alc- alcohol...unlike someb'dy..." Zoro tipped over and would have collapsed against the table if it hadn't been for Sanji's leg propping him up.

Chopper poked his head around the door cautiously. "Did it work, Sanji?"

"Yeah. Out like a light," Sanji reported.

"Thanks for your help, Sanji. Zoro's really stubborn about sedatives and things, even when it's for his own good."

"No problem, Chopper."

"Want me to carry him to bed?" Chopper offered.

"Nah, I'll do it. This oaf weighs a tonne. Think he'll be back to normal in the morning?"

"Yeah. Zoro was right, this time. That's really the only solution to over-training - lots of rest. He should be out for at least twelve hours."

"Good." Sanji hefted Zoro's body over his shoulder and headed for the boys' quarters and put him into his hammock, arranging his three heads into as comfortable a position as he could.

"Sweet dreams, mossheads." Sanji went over to his hammock and began to prepare for bed himself. He would need all the rest he could get to deal with Zoro's reaction to his treachery the next day.

But Sanji could live with that. After all, Luffy wasn't the only one who pushed himself too hard around here.

He ___could_, on the other hand, live without the triple-headed chorus of snores coming from Zoro's hammock. He groaned, put a pillow over his head, and longed for the moment rest kicked in and Asura became Zoro once more.

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks for all your reviews so far, everyone. And as always, your thoughts on this chapter, including concrit, are very much welcome!


	25. Introductions after the battle, Kplus

******Title:**Introductions after the battle  
******Theme:**Set #3 - Sacrifice  
******Claim:**Zoro  
******Words:**2640  
******Rating:** K+  
******Disclaimer:**I don't own One Piece.

* * *

He awoke to find a woman - no, more a girl on the cusp of womanhood - bending over him, concern in her eyes. "Are you all right?" she asked, her voice gentle. "Easy now. Don't sit up too quickly." He blinked. White kimono...the white katana, of course, that he had fought against earlier in the day, and then fought alongside less than an hour later. He sat up anyway, not wanting to show any weakness in front of his new sister-in-arms, no matter how temporary that alliance would prove to be. His head whirled with the effort, and he pinched the bridge of his nose to stem the nausea that threatened to overwhelm him.

The girl smiled sympathetically. "It's been a rough day for you. Three fights, changing owners, and then getting knocked to the ground like that..."

"Getting abandoned, more like." The interruption came from a boy who sat some distance away, hugging his knees fiercely, a petulant expression on his face. There was a slightly deranged look in his eyes, a barely-restrained bloodlust just waiting to erupt. Shuusui had met cursed katana before, but the aura this one radiated was beyond anything he'd ever experienced. He could only imagine what he was like unleashed.

"Ignore him," the girl said. She inclined her head in a polite bow. "We haven't been properly introduced. My name's Wado Ichimonji. You're Shuusui-san, right? It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Yes, that's right. The pleasure is all mine, I assure you," Shuusui bowed back, summoning courtly graces long-forgotten.

"And that's Sandai Kitetsu over there."

Shuusui gave a curt incline of his head and the boy stuck his tongue out at him in response. That one definitely needed taking into hand, Shuusui decided.

"Don't mind Sandai," the girl said, her voice conciliatory. "He's feeling rather bitter just now. He chose Zoro-san to be his master himself, you see, and getting thrown about like this...well, I suppose you would understand."

"That's no excuse for behaving like a spoilt brat," Shuusui said coldly.

"What did you just say?" Sandai shot him an angry glare.

"Calm ___down_, Sandai!" She turned back to Shuusui. "He's also annoyed that he didn't get to feed after all the fights we had today. He gets rather cranky when that happens."

"Stupid zombies, not a drop of blood between the lot of them," Sandai groused.

"And - " Wado's voice lowered to a confidential tone - "don't tell him I told you, but he's been awfully cut-up after Yubashiri-san died. The katana you're replacing, you know. They were friends, even though he'll never admit it."

"Doesn't your master take good enough care of you, then? To let one of his katana die..."

"He ___does _too!" Sandai leapt to Zoro's defence, much to Shuusui's surprise. "It was that stupid rust guy! I wanted to kill him so ___bad_..."

"You would just have died yourself, Sandai, you know that," Wado said reasonably.

"Anyway, it wasn't Zoro's fault. He keeps us close to him all the time, he cleans us and polishes us, talks to us...well, he doesn't ___feed _us enough, that's true, but..."

"Oh? That surprises me. Your master - " Shuusui hadn't quite acknowledged that young brat as ___his _master, not yet - "didn't strike me as a merciful man."

"Well, he's become a lot more so after joining the Strawhats. That's the pirate crew he belongs to," Wado explained.

"I'm surprised he can keep a rein on Sandai, then," Shuusui said, looking at the boy. "He seems quite ungovernable."

"Between them, it was love at first sight."

"Hey!" Sandai scowled, but his cheeks were flushed.

"It's ___true_."

"Yeah, well, it doesn't matter, right?" The note of petulance re-entered the boy's voice. "You're still master's pet."

"I am not!" she protested.

"Are too. He never puts anyone else in his mouth besides ___you_."

"You want all that saliva dripping over you? You know you can't stand getting wet!"

"But it's so cool! I never met a swordsman who could wield ___three _swords before. And if you don't like his germs, why don't we just switch?"

"No way!" she responded, sounding younger and younger by the minute. Shuusui sighed, wondering what fate had brought him, a respected and ancient blade once wielded by the greatest swordsman in the world, into the company of two katana who, though admittedly fine blades in their own right, acted like bickering children.

"See? It must be awesome!"

"I ___can't _switch with you, because you'd just cut his throat or something!"

"I would never hurt Zoro! He's a good master..." Sandai seemed to recollect recent events and his face fell. "Of course, he only was a good master until he ___betrayed _us."

"Sandai! Never say that about Zoro-san!" Wado scolded. "You know he only did it to save Luffy-san!"

"Oh, come on, Wado, you feel just as angry and betrayed as the rest of us. Don't hide it! In fact, you should feel even ___more_betrayed."

"Why is that?" Shuusui asked.

Wado gave him a sad smile. "He swore an oath on my blade, to my previous mistress. To become the world's greatest swordsman in her place." Her face took on a shuttered, far-away look. "I never thought he would give it up..."

"See? You ___are _angry! He chose Rubber-boy over you!"

"No, I'm not. I understand why he did it. Kuina-san would too. Besides, you ___heard _him apologise to her, just before..."

"I don't care! He should have ___fought_! I'm sure I could've cut those paw things if I had another chance!" Sandai looked darkly at Shuusui. "I'm sure we'd have won, too, if only Yuba'd been there."

"Are you accusing me of being weak?" Shuusui shot back. "You're a thousand years too young to compare yourself to me, boy!" Oh great, now he was stooping to squabbling with a mere child. Apparently their infantile behaviour was infectious.

"Sandai! Shuusui-san! Behave yourselves!" The girl folded her arms and looked at them sternly. Shuusui felt himself shrivel a little under her severe gaze. "It's true that we didn't work together as well as we could have, but that's only because we weren't familiar with Shuusui-san's fighting style. It has nothing to do with any one of us being weak or not."

"Fine. But I still think we should have fought," Sandai whined.

"Zoro-san was ___exhausted_! Couldn't you feel it? Three fights in a single day!"

"He's strong enough! I'm ___so _going to give Zoro a piece of my mind when he comes back..."

Wado and Shuusui exchanged a look. "Sandai," she said softly, "Zoro-san's not coming back."

"Huh?"

"He's...didn't you ___hear_? He volunteered to ___sacrifice _himself for Luffy-san. Don't you know what means?"

A stricken look crossed Sandai's boyish face. "You mean..."

"He's gone, Sandai." A single tear rolled down Wado's face and into her lap. "Zoro-san's gone."

"You keep calling him 'Zoro-san'. You always called him 'Master' before," Sandai noticed.

"Sandai..."

"You think he's dead, don't you? You don't believe in him!" Sandai said angrily.

"It's not that I didn't believe in him!" Wado snapped back, brushing away her tears. "But I heard him! He ___screamed_. Zoro-san never screams. And that was only a part of that huge ball of pain! How do you expect him to survive that?"

"I didn't choose a weakling to be my master," Sandai said sulkily.

"Even if Zoro-san survived that, that man worked for the ___World Government_, Sandai, and Zoro-san is one of the most wanted criminals in the world! They won't give him up so easily. Besides, they made a deal, remember? A head for a head. Zoro-san for Luffy-san."

"They did?"

Wado gave a short hiccupy laugh. "_Men_. You never listen."

"Hey, try living in a barrel for ten years and see how well you understand human language after ___that_." Sandai stared at the ground moodily. "So...assuming what you're saying is true - and I'm not saying it is - what's gonna happen to ___us_? We're not gonna get split up and sold, are we? I refuse to go into a barrel for another ten years!"

"In my country, it was customary for a samurai who did not die in combat to be buried with his katana," Shuusui contributed what he knew from personal experience.

Sandai bolted upright, staring at Shuusui in horror. "What? I don't wanna be buried! You don't get to eat if you're buried!"

"Or we could hope for another swordsman to claim us before that, like that skeleton gentleman..." Wado suggested glumly.

"I'm not going to let some two-bit swordsman claim me...oh, great! The sword-thieves are already at it!" Sandai said in alarm as hey felt themselves get scooped up in someone's hands, hands that were clearly unaccustomed to handling katana. "Oh, the shame," Sandai moaned. "That's it, I'm gonna kill 'em." He got to his feet.

"Sandai, no!" Wado quickly got up and threw her arms around him to stop him. "It's Sanji-san! Don't you recognise him?"

"It is?" Sandai halted and took a closer look at their bearer. "Oh, yeah. It is."

"So you're blind as well as deaf now?" Wado demanded as she released Sandai from her grip.

"What?" Sandai scowled. "Most I've ever seen of Curly-brow is the soles of his _shoes_."

"Shoes?" Shuusui queried.

"Sanji-san's fighting style uses kicks," Wado explained.

"That's not very respectful," Shuusui frowned. "And besides, you should be able to cut right through his shoes, surely?"

"Zoro always uses our flats against Curly-brow," Sandai explained. "It's damn frustrating."

"They're friends. Zoro-san doesn't like to hurt him," Wado elaborated.

"It still isn't very proper."

"Oh, come off your high horse," Sandai scoffed. "At least it's some fun."

"And there aren't any other swordsmen on board, so Sanji-san's the only person Zoro-san has to spar with."

A drop of water chose that moment to land on Sandai's face. "Oh, great. And to top it all off, now it's ___raining_?" he complained, flicking off the droplet of unwanted moisture.

"It's...it's Sanji-san. He's crying," Wado said softly, looking in awe at the blond cook's face. "That must mean that Zoro-san really..." She burst into tears herself, even as more tears began to spatter on Sandai.

"Oi! My clothes are getting drenched! Oi! Sanji! Curly-brow! Idiot cook! If you're gonna cry, cry on someone else!" Sandai demanded, disgusted. Then he looked around at Wado, and an undefinable expression came over his face.

Shuusui looked awkwardly at the sobbing girl. He felt as if there was something he should do, but he was sure that as an almost complete stranger to her and her grief, his sympathy would be unwelcome. He settled for bending down and putting a comforting hand on her back. Then the world moved and he found himself pressed up against her body, Sandai tumbling against them a moment later.

"What the hell? Oi! You lot! We need to breathe, y'know! Oi!"

Shuusui recovered from his surprise enough to stammer an apology. "I'm deeply sorry, Wado-san! I didn't mean to - highly improper - "

"That's okay," she laughed through her tears. "It's not your fault. Besides, it's worse when we're fighting, isn't it, and we don't mind it then." She looked up to find the cause of their squished situation. "Oh, it's Nami-san. They're hugging."

"Hellooooo, katana between you! What makes you think we want to be pressed up against your boobs, witch?"

"Sandai! Shhh! I want to hear!" But by then Sanji and Nami had already pulled apart, and silence reigned once more. "Now look what you've done! We could've found out what happened to Zoro-san!"

"We don't have to ask," Shuusui said, nodding towards the still body on the table they were being carried towards. "He's right there."

Wado pressed her hands to her mouth, her eyes widening in horror. "Oh no...he's not moving! And look at all those bandages! It must have hurt so badly before...before..." Another rush of tears prevented her from completing her sentence.

Sandai clenched his fists as he gazed at his master's battered body. "I'm gonna kill that paw guy. I will, I swear it!" Shuusui could see a sorrowful tear leak out of the corner of the boy's eye nevertheless.

Shuusui sighed. "And you two call yourselves katana?"

"Huh?" Wado and Sandai looked around questioningly.

"You can't even tell a living body from a dead one? Look! He's still breathing!" Shuusui had seen plenty of live bodies, dead bodies, and dead-yet-alive bodies, so he considered himself an authority on the subject.

"He is? He is! Master! Master!" Sandai struggled so hard to get over to Zoro that he fell out of Sanji's grip.

"Zoro's not going to be happy you dropped that, Sanji-kun," they heard Nami say. She was still crying, but now they realised that she was laughing through her tears.

"Shitty sword jumped out of my hands," Sanji explained.

"Careful! And who are you calling shitty, shitty cook?" Sandai yelled, but he was soon mollified when Sanji scooped him up again and laid all three katana by Zoro's side.

Shuusui watched as Wado and Sandai inched towards their master, caught between smiles and tears of relief. He realised that the humans, too, were gathered around Zoro's bedside, some laughing, some crying, some tossing a little reindeer into the air as he squealed that he wasn't in the least bit flattered they thought he was the world's greatest doctor. He watched the sobbing katana and sobbing nakama, and felt a curious feeling inside, something he hadn't ever felt before - like he was part of a team.

He understood now why his master had volunteered to sacrifice himself for his captain. Why the blond cook had volunteered to sacrifice himself in his master's place.

They were more than a team. They were a family.

He'd never had to work with other katana before, or anyone other than his previous masters. But now he was saddled with what basically amounted to two less experienced, less disciplined katana, who would need to be taught new skills and stratagems, taught to control their temper.

It was like having a younger sister and a younger brother, almost. Troublesome, but...it was nice having a family.

"Stop crying, you two," he said authoritatively, and Wado and Sandai looked around.

"Don't tell us what to do, bastard!" Sandai lashed out, but the big grin on his face put the lie to his words.

"No, listen. We have some things to work out between us," Shuusui said firmly.

"Some things...?"

"It's going to be different next time. We're going to put our differences aside and learn to work together. No infighting, no quarrelling. We're going to keep Master safe from now on. Agreed?"

"Yes!" Wado said, her eyes shining.

"All right," Sandai promised.

They shook on it, grinning at each other. And then Wado and Sandai went right back to snuggling up to Zoro. The swordsman reciprocated with a slight movement that he could probably ill afford right now given his injuries, his fingers grazing their hilts, checking that they were all present and correct. Shuusui covered his ears as Wado and Sandai practically screamed for joy.

But it was kind of nice to be included in that gesture, too.

Shuusui looked up at Zoro and made his own private promise. He would work with the two other katana, no matter how childishly they behaved. He would teach them all he knew. He would even let himself be used against the soles of this Sanji fellow's shoes. It would mean sacrificing his own pride, but if his master was so loved that all these people cried for him, if his katana yearned so badly for his touch, maybe he was worth it.

___Just watch, Ryuuma-san_, he vowed. ___I've met a second man worthy of becoming the greatest swordsman in the world. And someday, I'll get him there._

___

* * *

_**A/N: **I really have to stop writing Thriller Bark reactions.../facepalm.

As always, comments of any kind, including concrit, are very welcome. Thank you!


	26. Promised Farewell, Theme: Goodbye, T

I feel bad about breaking the crew up after just reuniting them a few fics ago, but! This is the start of yet another sequence of fics. This one is **Alternative Future Timeline**.

******Title:** Promised Farewell  
******Theme:** Set #3 - Goodbye  
******Claim: **Zoro  
******Words: **2725  
******Rating:** T  
******Warnings: **Angst. Swearing. Future fic. Slightly Alternative Timeline, just because a lot of this probably wouldn't happen given recent canon events.  
******Disclaimers: **Didn't break it, don't own it.  
******Acknowledgments:** Please note that the base idea for this fic (elaborated below *) is not mine. I read it in a one-shot (aha! It's "Promises", by Griever5) ages ago, and the idea was so haunting I _had_ to expand upon it. Thanks to Velkyn Karma for helping me locate the fic, and to Griever5 for the lovely, inspiring one-shot.

* * *

Zoro's eyes blinked open in the dark of the Thousand Sunny's infirmary, and a smile unfurled across his face as he recalled the events that had landed him there. Finally. Finally, his dream had come true. He'd kept his promise.

His smile faded slightly when he recalled what he now had to do. He pulled himself painfully into a sitting position - as usual, Chopper had gone overboard with the bandages - and looked around.

The crew were all there, Luffy curled at the foot of his bed like a puppy, Nami and Robin sleeping in their arms on the table, Franky and Brook snoring soundly, leaning against each other's backs, while Sanji and Usopp seemed to be using each other as makeshift pillows. He looked around for Chopper, and saw him sleeping against a makeshift bed, where the former greatest swordsman in the world lay. So Mihawk hadn't died after all. Zoro was glad. It had been a good fight, and there was no dishonour in losing.

Chopper still had a thermometer clutched in one hoof, and even as he slept, Zoro could see the lines of exhaustion in the young doctor's face. It had probably not been an easy job keeping him and Mihawk alive, he knew. They'd each done their level best to destroy each other, and he knew the deserted island where they'd fought had probably been wiped off the map. Nami would be mad. His glance drifted to the navigator, and his face softened as his eyes lingered on her for a moment, then on each of his crewmates in turn.

Finally, with a suppressed sigh, he crept out of the infirmary and into the boys' quarters, where he hurriedly dressed himself. The only way he'd be allowed to do what he had to do, was if he did it quickly and stealthily. He was glad to see that they were docked at an island with a town, probably to replenish their supplies - no need to make off with the Mini Merry, then. Maybe the town was even large enough for a Marine base. He jumped off the ship, wincing a little when the bandages scraped against his skin as he landed. For a moment he debated taking them off, but then he decided he wouldn't undo Chopper's hard work. Not when these were the last bandages the little reindeer would ever put on him.

Zoro took one last look at the Thousand Sunny, then spun on his heel and strode into town, never once glancing back at the shadow silently following him.

**...**

An uneasy feeling grew in Sanji's mind as he followed Zoro through the intricate maze of narrow streets, though he was at a loss for why. Finally he realised the reason for his unease: Zoro hadn't brought them in a circle once. He actually seemed to know where he was going. He always acted like he knew, the stubborn idiot, but this time he really did. Had the victory with Mihawk suddenly gifted the marimo with a brain? Or was it something else?

Not to mention that Zoro wasn't supposed to be walking around anyway. Chopper would have a fit if he knew. Sanji hoped that he'd still be asleep when they returned to the ship. Come to think of it, he didn't know why he was spying on Zoro anyway, when he could've just stopped him before he got off the ship. But he needed to know why Zoro was up to, slinking away in the dark of the night. Zoro was the secretive type, and Sanji knew he'd never find out if he confronted Zoro directly. So he kept quiet, and crept after his nakama.

Finally Zoro turned in at an ornate archway, and Sanji recognised it as belonging to a shrine. He scratched his head, puzzled. What was Zoro, the least religious person in the world, doing at a place of worship?

Instead of following the swordsman into the narrow shrine where he could be easily spotted, Sanji clambered up a wall and found himself a good vantage point, from which he could see Zoro striding up towards a small altar. He knelt before it, removed the white katana from his haramaki and laid it across the altar, then sat back on his heels, clapped his hands once and bowed his head in prayer.

For the dead friend to whom he'd promised he would become the greatest swordsman in the world, Sanji realised. He thought back to the moment when Mihawk fell under Zoro's blades. Zoro's face had been stony, but Sanji knew it had to be a mask. All the years of fighting, of heartache, of endless training, had culminated in this moment of triumph. He'd kept his word, and Sanji knew there was nothing more important to Zoro than that.

So that was what this was all about, Sanji thought, a smile of relief spreading across his face. Maybe Zoro was just embarrassed to be seen entering a shrine. Like they'd care. They were all just eager for Zoro to wake up, so they could congratulate him - they hadn't had the chance to do even that yet, since he'd collapsed right after the fight. Luffy had been saying something about a grand party when Zoro awoke. They'd be able to have it today, since Zoro was up and walking. Sanji thought about the food in his larder. No, it would never be enough for a party, not with Luffy around. He'd have to go shopping today. Too bad they didn't have any sea king meat left in the freezer, Zoro would have enjoyed that. He didn't think he could get any sea king in town either. He'd have to buy the largest, freshest fish available in the market instead. Nami-san would surely spare him the money...

Sanji was so preoccupied with planning his menu that he only noticed the huge figure looming behind him when its shadow fell across his perch on the wall. "Shit!" Sanji bit down on his cigarette and leapt from the wall, rolling to safety behind a large boulder. His jaw dropped, and the cigarette with it, when he recognised the gigantic man clad in black and white. The Pacifista. The original, most dangerous one, going by his sudden, noiseless appearance and the Bible he carried in one huge paw. He glanced over at the shrine and saw that Zoro was getting to his feet, prayer evidently over, unhurriedly picking up the katana and tucking it back into his haramaki. Idiot...had he even noticed the appearance of the cyborg? If his battle senses were this dull, no way could he fight Kuma and win. For that matter, the marimo had just woken up after a duel that lasted three days. Chopper would kill him if he got into another fight so soon, and against one of the most dangerous opponents the Strawhats had ever faced.

It was up to him, then. Sanji opened his mouth to yell to Zoro to hide himself somewhere, let him take care of it, when Zoro strolled out from the shrine and looked up without surprise at Kuma.

Of course, Zoro ___was_the greatest swordsman in the world now, Sanji reminded himself. There was no way he wouldn't have noticed the presence of the gigantic cyborg. Any moment now, he was going to open that loud mouth of his and make some snarky remark to Kuma -

"That was fast," Zoro commented, his voice calm.

If Sanji's jaw were physically capable of dropping any further, it would've hit the floor and rolled away.

The Pacifista made no reply, and Zoro raised an eyebrow. This Kuma projected a different aura from the one who'd made him take all of Luffy's pain long ago at Thriller Bark. This one felt more like one of his clones, like a soulless machine, more robot than human, incapable of the sigh he once gave when he realised the extent to which Zoro was willing to go for his captain. Zoro shrugged. Not like it mattered. He shut his eyes, composing himself, then he looked up. "I'm ready."

Kuma wordlessly peeled off a glove, extending a large padded palm towards Zoro, and Sanji remembered that terrible day when he'd watched his nakama disappear one by one under its power. Like hell was he going to let that happen again! And what the hell was Zoro doing, just standing there? Had he frozen again, paralysed by the sight of the machine that once inflicted so much pain on him? "Zoro! What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he yelled, ducking out from under his cover and launching a flying kick at the cyborg.

Twice he'd tried this before, and both times his leg had reeled from the blow as if he'd been kicking steel - and, from what little he'd managed to pry out of Zoro after Thriller Bark, that was what it was. But now he was surprised to feel the cyborg's exoskeleton crumple a little under the impact, and he landed lightly on the ground. If Zoro was capable of defeating a Shichibukai now, so was he, he thought with satisfaction.

"Oi! Marimo! We can take him down together!"

Zoro shot him an irritated glance, and shook his head. "It's useless, Sanji."

"What? You're the greatest swordsman in the world! You can beat him!"

"I know that," Zoro said.

"Then what the hell are you doing just standing there?"

Zoro heaved a sigh, and he looked up at the Pacifista. "Give me five minutes."

Again, Bartholomew Kuma said nothing. He only inclined his head slightly and let Zoro lead Sanji a short distance away.

Sanji let Zoro push him to a corner of the shrine, then shrugged off the heavy hand. "What the fuck is going on?" he demanded. "You leave without a word to anyone after Chopper's worked his ass off for days saving your life, then you give in to this Shichibukai without a fight?"

"I'm not going to fight him, and neither are you."

"Then what's all this talk about being ready? Ready for what?"

"Sanji."

___Sanji. _He'd called him that twice now. Not that he never had, but never in so serious a tone of voice, and in that moment Sanji knew that something was about to happen that would change their lives forever. He swallowed, and fixed Zoro with a sharp stare, but Zoro was gazing off into the distance, as if lost in memories.

Finally he spoke. "You know what happened at Thriller Bark, don't you?"

There was no point concealing it any longer. "Yeah, I know," Sanji admitted.

"Kuma was supposed to take my head that day."

"Yeah," Sanji said, suppressing a shudder when he remembered those terrifying moments between waking up from Zoro's blow to see his three katana lying master-less on the ground, and finding Zoro covered with blood in the clearing.

"The only reason he didn't was that we made a deal."

"A deal," Sanji repeated, his mind slow to process the horrible implications of that statement.

"He would let me go on one condition - that I would surrender myself once I'd accomplished my dream."

"And you agreed?" Sanji exclaimed, anger and dread rising within him.

"If I hadn't, I would've been captured at Thriller Bark," Zoro replied calmly. He looked at Sanji now, and there was a wry half-smile on his face. "You see now why I have to go."

Zoro's quiet response only enraged Sanji all the more. "You bastard," he snarled. "Why didn't you tell us? What the hell was up with that 'nothing happened'?"

Zoro shrugged. "There was nothing you could've done. And I never thought I would be the first to fulfill my dream."

"Then why didn't you postpone the duel with Mihawk? It wasn't like you would've got any less strong! You could've told him you didn't want to fight him yet!" But even as Sanji suggested it, he knew Zoro would never have done such a thing. Stupid swordsman's honour. Besides, it was already done.

"Tell the others not to come after me. And tell them to make sure they accomplish their own dreams."

"Why the hell should I do your dirty work for you?" Sanji demanded hotly. "If you're too much a coward to face them..."

"I'm not being cowardly," Zoro said, his eyes narrowed.

"Then tell them! Tell Luffy, at least! You owe it to him to let him hear your reasons for leaving from your own mouth!"

Zoro shot him a look that said, ___you should know better_. "If Luffy knew, d'you think he'd ever let me go?"

"That's the fucking ___point_, dumbass! What you're doing is idiotic!"

"I'd be breaking a promise if I did otherwise," Zoro replied, folding his arms in a familiar obstinate pose, and Sanji knew then that all hope was lost of persuading Zoro to come back. But he knew that if he didn't do everything he could now to prevent Zoro from turning himself in, he'd never forgive himself. Even if it meant beating the shit out of an injured man.

He grabbed a handful of Zoro's shirt and punctuated each point with a punch. "You're a pirate! Pirates aren't bound by ridiculous notions of honour! A promise made to the World Government means nothing! Think about Robin-chan, how they twisted their promises to ___her_!" He paused, his hand stinging a little from the blows. And from Zoro's expression, none of them had even hurt. Fucking stupid hard-headed swordsman. Maybe he _had_ recovered enough to take a kick or three in the ribs. "And why the hell aren't you even fighting back?" Sanji demanded, annoyed by Zoro's lack of reaction.

Zoro shrugged as best he could. "I'd be angry too. I was too weak back then."

Sanji released the hold on Zoro's shirt with a sigh. He could have tried explaining that it was Zoro's stupid self-sacrificial attitude that made him mad, but he knew it would take the patience of a saint to drill that into this meathead.

"Besides," - and this time Zoro's voice sounded weary - "becoming the greatest swordsman in the world would mean nothing if I disgraced the title by breaking a promise. I couldn't do that to Kuina. Not when it meant so much to her."

Kuina? ___Her? _Sanji had never realised this was a promise made to a woman...no, to a girl, probably, for he knew Zoro had clung to this promise for years. Zoro watched as Sanji's shoulders slumped in acceptance. It had been a promise to a girl, and that was enough for Sanji.

"Tell the others not to be sad. Especially Chopper. I've accomplished my dream. I've no regrets...well, maybe one."

"What's that?" Sanji asked, and he cringed at how broken his own voice sounded.

"I'm sorry that I won't be there to see you all reach your dreams." He rested a heavy hand on Sanji's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Take care of them for me," and Sanji was surprised to hear the emotion behind the words.

He watched numbly as Zoro turned and walked back towards Kuma, a trace of a swagger still in his step despite all that had happened, and what he had to know he was walking into. Prison. Torture. Death.

Dammit, he couldn't just let Zoro walk to his doom! Sanji launched himself blindly into the attack, but Zoro seemed to have anticipated his reaction. His sword was already drawn and now he rammed its hilt into Sanji's side, knocking the wind out of him.

It might have worked once, Sanji thought, but only because he'd been exhausted from a long fight back then. He was fresh now, and -

As he picked himself up, he saw Kuma's palm touch Zoro.

"ZORO!"

As Zoro and the Shichibukai vanished before his horrified gaze, Sanji knew one thing. He was ___never_ going to be able to explain this to Luffy.

* * *

**A/N: **I don't have much to say other than "don't kill me", and that comments of any kind, including concrit, are very much welcome. Thank you.


	27. Declaration of War, Theme: War, T

**Second in a four-parter. **

**Logistical note:** Apparently I'm really evil for writing the last chapter...so here's this one early. BUT! I'm afraid there's pretty certainly going to be a longish delay before the next one, because a whole section of it is missing (in that I never wrote it, but had made up my mind to). So...just to let you know.

**

* * *

Title:** Declaration of war  
**Theme: **Set #3 - War  
**Claim:** Zoro  
**Words:** 3228  
**Rating: **T  
**Warnings:** Future fic, Alternative Timeline. Makes a very, very vague reference to The Adventures of Young Roronoa Zoro (Chapters 12-15). Possibly slight OOC on the part of some minor characters.  
**Disclaimers:** I don't own One Piece.

* * *

Smoker was _fuming_, figuratively and literally. He had been waiting over an hour now for his turn to interrogate the new prisoner, and still they hadn't been allowed to see Roronoa Zoro.

"What right does that upstart prison guard have to keep a Marine commodore sitting about? Especially in Marine HQ?" he demanded.

"I'm sorry, Commodore Smoker," Tashigi replied, "but Hannyabal-san has been given temporary oversight of the prison wing. A Vice-Admiral's authority is needed to overrule him." Marineford was the temporary home of the prison for Level 6 prisoners, with the lower reaches of Impel Down still under reconstruction. The Marines themselves were no authorities on running a prison, so they had pulled in the Vice-Warden of the great gaol to take charge until a new, more secure Level 6 could be built. Since Hannyabal had so many dangerous ex-escapees to look after, he'd been given the equivalent authority of a Rear Admiral.

"This isn't a matter of authority, it's a matter of basic respect," Smoker snorted. "He's just enjoying rubbing it in my face that his temporary rank is higher than mine." For once, Smoker regretted turning down as many promotions as he had in the past. "Besides, what are the prison guards doing that's so important? Torturing the man? You know as well as I do that Roronoa isn't going to be broken by any ordinary tortures."

Tashigi started at the word "tortures", and gripped the katana in her hands a little tighter. Smoker noticed. "What's the matter, Tashigi?" he barked at his clumsy lieutenant.

"Sorry, sir. They're rather...twitchy." Smoker knew better than to question the use of the word. He knew she revered fine blades, and regarded them as practically human. "Especially this black-and-red one. Sandai Kitetsu. It feels like it's baying for blood. Even more blood than it's already drunk today."

That was how they had come to be involved in the first place. They happened to be stopping by at HQ to be briefed for their next mission, when Tashigi had been given an urgent call by the bureau that processed items confiscated from new prisoners. Apparently a certain katana was slicing up everyone who dared to get anywhere within a foot of it. She had hurried down to help, and immediately recognised it and its two brethren, and informed Smoker of Zoro's capture directly after that. The bureau wanted nothing to do with the cursed blade, and let her have all three.

"What I want to know is, how the hell did they get their hands on the man?" Smoker went on. Not that he craved the honour of capturing so notorious a pirate - hell, he'd voluntarily let the Strawhat crew go free more times than he cared to count - but he wanted to know how someone else had succeeded where he had not. He was sure that if one of the Vice-Admirals or Admirals themselves had set out to capture Zoro, he would have heard of it. And what about the rest of the Strawhats? Why had it been Roronoa, and Roronoa alone?

The door opened, and they looked up to see the vice-warden enter. "Welcome to my Marineford - ah! I said the wrong thing! Welcome to my _prison wing_ at Marineford, Commodore Smoker! Sorry to keep you waiting!" Hannyabal smirked at them.

Smoker clamped down on his two cigars. "You're not sorry at all, you bastard. When are you gonna let us see Roronoa?"

"I'm afraid he is a little...tied up at the moment, Commodore Smoker. Such a tough prisoner, you know, needs a little bit more...persuasion to start talking."

He cocked his head slightly to the side and, when they listened carefully through the open door, they could hear the distant sound of multiple whips being applied to a prisoner's flesh.

Smoker saw Tashigi grip the three swords tightly once more, and shot her a what's-the-matter_-now_ look.

She looked up at him, her face pained. "The katana are crying, sir."

Crying for their master, huh? Smoker shook his head. These swordsmen were crazy. He turned back to Hannyabal.

"I thought you had a reputation for not believing in meting out torture," he ground out, making sure his tone communicated his disapproval. He wasn't above a little arm-twisting to extract information himself, but he didn't believe in inflicting pain for the sake of inflicting pain.

"Yes, but this _is_ the man whose captain broke out of my great...ah! I said too much! He _has _escaped from the Marines more times than we can count, Commodore. You can't fault my men for wanting to get their own back."

Since Smoker had been behind the vast majority of those attempts to capture the Strawhats, that statement did _not_ go over well. Before he could launch a tirade, though, Hannyabal continued, "Anyway, if you want to interrogate the world's greatest swordsman, you'd need him to be softened up first, wouldn't you?"

"What's that?" Tashigi gasped. "Did you just call him - ?"

"World's greatest swordsman," Hannyabal repeated. "He beat the Shichibukai Hawk-Eye Mihawk a few days ago."

"Then what the devil is he doing here in a Marine prison?" Smoker growled.

Hannyabal swelled up importantly, pleased to be the one in the know for once. Normally, the prison wing was the last to hear any news. "Well, you see..."

The warden was abruptly interrupted when the other door to the room swung open and a loud voice bellowed, "Where is he? Where is Roronoa?"

"Ah! Vice-Admiral Garp, sir!" Hannyabal was suddenly the picture of fawning obedience, when Garp's entourage entered the room. "How nice to see you in the prison wing, sir! Welcome, welcome!"

"I want to see him."

"Him, sir?"

"Roronoa! Now!" Garp would have looked and sounded extremely intimidating if he hadn't been in the midst of excavating his nose.

"Er - yes! At once!" Hannyabal squeaked, and hurried away.

"Vice-Admiral Garp, sir, I would like to be present for the interrogation," Smoker requested, in the respectful tone he reserved for a very select few of the upper brass.

Garp studied him for a moment, then nodded. "Very well."

"Excuse me, Tashigi-san," a pink-haired youth behind Garp said meekly, "but are those...?"

"Yes, Coby-san, they are," Tashigi replied.

Smoker racked his brains, trying to recall just who this young officer was and why he looked so familiar. Finally he remembered the boy who had blocked Akainu's way in the battle of Marineford, screaming for everyone to stop the useless fighting. The boy had guts, he had to give him that. Garp certainly knew how to pick them.

"Garp-san, were you the one who captured Roronoa?" Smoker asked. If there was one person whose movements were opaque to most of the Marine establishment - even to the Fleet Admiral - it was Garp.

"Wahahahaha! Me? No!" Garp replied. "Helmeppo, tell him what happened."

The blond-haired counterpart to Coby straightened up and reported, "Apparently Roronoa Zoro had made a deal with the Shichibukai Bartholomew Kuma to surrender himself once he became world's greatest swordsman, Smoker-san. And...he did."

Smoker bit down on his cigars so hard he almost decapitated them. He had _surrendered_ himself? Damn that Roronoa! He couldn't even give the Marines the faintest honour of having captured him in fair battle - though doubtless history would be rewritten that way, just like Arabasta had. Smoker wondered which sap would be forced to take the glory and promotion this time. It sure as hell wasn't going to be him!

And what had possessed Roronoa to make that deal in the first place?

"Vice-Admiral Garp, the prisoner is ready for you." Hannyabal ushered the Marine officers through to the cell, and would have followed himself, but was stopped by the silent man in the suit whom Smoker and Tashigi knew to be Garp's constant and rather mysterious lieutenant. He clanged the door shut behind them.

Tashigi gave a small gasp as she surveyed the sorry state of the "world's greatest swordsman", who looked far from the embodiment of that title right now. Smoker frowned at her and motioned for her to remain in the back of the room, behind the others, and took a good look at the prey he had chased for so long.

Roronoa Zoro was chained to the wall, green hair matted to his head with sweat, shirt hanging in shreds off his broad shoulders, his entire body streaked with rivulets of blood that dripped from wounds old and new and pooled around his knees. His body was sagging, held up only by the chains, but still he managed to raise his head and give them the feral, mocking grin Smoker loathed. "Never knew I had so many old friends among the Marines," he rasped out, before giving way to a fit of coughing.

"Give the man some water," Garp ordered, and Coby immediately hurried to pour the prisoner a drink.

"Here, Zoro-san, drink up," Coby said, gently holding the cup to the prisoner's lips so that he could sip it.

Huh, maybe Roronoa hadn't been mocking them after all. Maybe those two really _were_ friends.

"Thanks," Zoro said gruffly.

Coby took back the cup, taking a close look at Zoro's eyes as he did so. He turned to Garp. "Sir, he's lost a lot of blood. I think he should be treated for his injuries."

"I'm fine. Fine!" The tone was proud, but Zoro's voice was slightly slurred, and for a man who had just been given a bad beating, he seemed positively light-headed. "Well?" He glanced around at the silent crowd, somehow managing to look defiant despite everything. "Anyone gonna ask me any questions, now that I've been _softened up_?" The tone of his voice made it clear that he considered himself anything _but_.

"Tch. Still the same stubborn idiot after all this time," Helmeppo muttered. Smoker couldn't decide whether that was a tone of disgust or respect. Maybe both.

"Wahahahahaha! I see my grandson chose a fine first mate!" Garp chortled.

The expression on Zoro's face changed, and he looked away. "I'm not Luffy's first mate. I'm no longer on the crew. S'you don't have to worry 'bout him coming to rescue me. He won't."

"When his life was the reason you made this deal in the first place? I think you underestimate my grandson," Garp retorted dryly.

Zoro turned to stare at the white-haired vice-admiral. Then he shook his head. "It wasn't for Luffy's life. It was for my dream."

"Do you take me for some sort of fool, boy?" Garp snorted, semi-serious for once. "Kuma told me all about it. How you and that cook offered your heads in exchange for his." Beneath the harsh tone of the Marine Vice-Admiral, Smoker could discern the gratitude of a grandparent. Garp was saying thank you.

And Roronoa wasn't denying it, either, which meant it was true. Smoker clenched his fists. Why couldn't the Strawhat Pirates act _like_ pirates? Why couldn't they steal and pillage instead of bringing down corrupt criminals, saving countries, freeing slaves? Why did they constantly push their self-interest aside and throw themselves into harm's way for other people, making even hardened Marines like Smoker feel _bad_, of all things, that they were behind bars where they belonged?

Smoker didn't believe in absolutes as some of the other Marines did, but hell, the Strawhat Pirates were turning the world topsy-turvy. When pirates held themselves to a higher standard of honour than the so-called forces of justice did, something was wrong.

Damn Strawhats.

Smoker only had a few moments to unravel his thoughts when they were interrupted by a commotion outside. "Admiral Sengoku, sir!" they heard the prison warden warble a greeting.

"Ah, Sengoku's here to join the party too, eh?" Garp said, cheerily.

Fleet Admiral Sengoku entered a few moments later, giving curt nods to all present and taking in the condition of the prisoner in a brief glance. "I will be brief, Roronoa Zoro." Sengoku never wasted time with formalities. "Tell me, do you still consider yourself a member of Monkey D Luffy's crew?"

"Nope," Zoro said.

"Good. The Gorousei has authorised me to offer you Hawkeye Mihawk's place among the Shichibukai. Will you accept?"

"Shichibukai?" A smile twisted its way across Zoro's face. "You want _me_ to become a shichibukai?"

"Why not? You were once a pirate hunter, and now you are a pirate. What else is a shichibukai but the union of these two roles? It would only be entwining the two contradictory threads of your life into one. I need hardly add that this is a great honour, and is the only way to escape your other possible fates."

"And just what are those fates?"

"One, execution. Two, slavery. The Tenryuubito still have not forgiven you the incident on Sabaody."

Smoker felt Tashigi stiffen at the latter. He wasn't too thrilled at the idea either. Roronoa Zoro had been a formidable opponent, and always an honourable one. He didn't deserve so ignoble a fate.

"Slavery, huh? I guess you can't outrun destiny forever," Zoro commented. Smoker hardly knew what to make of that statement.

"You will also be acknowledged worldwide as the world's greatest swordsman, even by the World Government. I have read your file, Roronoa Zoro. I know that was your dream, to have your fame proclaimed to the high heavens. I can assure you, so long as you do not comply with our wishes, you will be erased entirely from history."

"Like Ohara, or the Void Century?" Zoro asked mockingly.

Sengoku stiffened a little at the mention of those two taboo subjects. "The World Government has great expertise in the matter."

"Well, tough luck. I don't need my name to be proclaimed to the high heavens."

Sengoku looked scandalised that his files had given him the wrong information. "Why not?"

"The only person who needs to know is right here."

Everyone turned to follow the prisoner's gaze. Tashigi shrank back a little from the stares of some of the most powerful men in the world. "M-m-m-me?" she stuttered.

_Dammit, what is Roronoa playing at?_ Smoker raged internally. If he was trying to incriminate Tashigi in some kind of plot...

"You know what happened, don't you, Kuina?" Zoro asked. "You got Wado back. That's good. You'll take care of Sandai and Shuusui too, won't you?"

"Lieutenant! What is the meaning of this? Do you know this man?" Sengoku said, giving Tashigi a suspicious glare.

"If I may, sir," Smoker said, interposing himself between Tashigi and his boss's wrath, "The prisoner is clearly delirious. He's mistaken Lieutenant Tashigi for someone else. Someone _dead_."

"'M not delirious," Zoro contradicted him. "I can see her, clear as day. You know I beat Mihawk, don't you?"

His voice was so stubbornly insistent that Tashigi couldn't help nodding. "Yes, I know."

A smile of relief spread across Zoro's face. "You know what that means, then."

"You're the world's greatest swordsman?" she said softly.

"No. You are."

"_Me_?" Everyone glanced between Zoro and Tashigi, confused.

"You're the one person I could never defeat. So that means...you're the world's greatest swordsman. See?"

"Lieutenant, what is the meaning of this?" Sengoku asked sternly.

"Sir, really, he's mistaken me for somebody else! He always has, even years ago, back in Loguetown. He said I just looked like her...a childhood friend."

"Is that so?" Sengoku said, tight-lipped. He swung around to inspect the prisoner once more. It was true that his eyes did look slightly unfocused, but he didn't seem in the least like a man in delirium. He had sounded so certain, so confident.

Zoro smirked up at him. "See? I don't care what you do to me now. She knows. She knows, and that's all that matters..."

"Does that mean that you refuse the appointment?"

"Shichibukai are scum, anyway. Except Mihawk, they're all weaklings, dogs of the World Government..." At last, one thing Smoker and Roronoa could agree on, Smoker thought.

But, damn it all, he didn't _want_ to be agreeing with Roronoa on any subject!

Zoro's words were interrupted by an urgent knocking on the door. "Sir! Admiral Sengoku, sir!"

"Enter," Sengoku barked at the messenger, who rushed in, panting heavily, and saluted. "What is it?"

"A declaration of war, sir!" the Marine reported.

"A declaration of - who the hell is it this time?" Sengoku frowned.

"Strawhat Luffy, sir! He's sailing for Marineford as we speak!"

The news seemed to bring Zoro back to full alertness. "What? That _idiot_!"

"I told you so," Garp said smugly.

Sengoku was equally livid at the news. "Garp! I want you assigned to defence..." His voice trailed off, as he recalled what happened the last time Garp had "tried" to keep his grandson from reclaiming a prisoner. "Never mind! Smoker! I want you to organise the defences! On no account are we to cede Roronoa Zoro to the enemy as we ceded Portgas D Ace in the past!"

"Sir." Smoker nodded curtly, accepting the order. "Come, Tashigi."

"No, Lieutenant Tashigi is being relieved from duty pending an investigation into her background," Sengoku intervened. "You are hereby placed under suspension, Lieutenant."

"B-b-but sir! I've done nothing wrong!" Tashigi protested.

Smoker glared at Sengoku as if he was an idiot. "The prisoner is clearly either trying to fool us, or is fooling himself. He simply mistook her for a person who's dead!"

"Stranger things have happened than a dead person coming back to life and infiltrating the Marines, Commodore Smoker," Sengoku said acidly. "The Gorousei will not forgive a repeat of the inside job that allowed Teach to dictate how the last battle of Marineford went. Now go."

Smoker shot Sengoku a lethal glare and stomped off. Just as he reached the door, another Marine came tearing up. "Sir! Admiral Sengoku, sir! Urgent report!"

"What is it _now_?"

"Sir, a declaration of war!"

"Yes, yes, I've already been informed of that. Stand down, Marine."

"No, sir, it's another one! The Revolutionaries have declared war on the World Government, sir, and their fleet is on the way!"

Everyone took a few seconds to process the report, then Sengoku turned to his vice-admiral and friend. "What the _hell_ is wrong with your whole damn family, Garp?" he roared.

"Yeah, I kinda want to know the answer to that as well," Zoro added.

Oddly enough, Garp did not look in the least bit ashamed. "Wahahahaha! I guess they don't believe in allowing fate to claim their friends."

"_Idiots_, all of them," Zoro repeated under his breath.

Smoker was rather relieved to be back to disagreeing with Roronoa once more.

* * *

**A/N**: Oh lookie! Sengoku decided to come out of retirement! XP

Smoker's my favourite Marine, so...I hope I wrote him decently.

Let me know your thoughts about this chapter, one way or another! Concrit is _always_ welcome. Thank you.


	28. The Second War of Marineford, T

**Third in a series. Please read the previous two fics first, if you haven't already. Also references the Adventures of Young Roronoa Zoro (Chapters 12-15).**

* * *

**Title:** The Second War of Marineford  
**Theme: **Set #3 - War  
**Claim:** Zoro  
**Words:** 6863  
**Rating: **T  
**Warnings:** Future fic, Alternative Timeline, strong language. Spoilers for recent manga chapters.  
**Disclaimers:** I don't own One Piece.

* * *

_Marineford Battle Command Centre, 14:20  
_

"Casualty report."

"Yes, sir. Another three thousand down in the last ten minutes, sir." The ensign hesitated, then added, "That's an estimated count, sir."

Of course it was, dammit. Smoker exhaled slowly as the words sank in. Three fucking _thousand_. How could they possibly get an exact count, at the rate the Marines were falling? If anything, that was a lowball estimate.

The Video Den Den Mushi screens blurred for a moment as two puffs of smoke rose hazily into the air. All too quickly, they dissipated, revealing the extent of the carnage once more. Smoker had to resist the urge to jump out of his chair and swoop down to join the tiny dots on the screen. Every bone in his body told him he should be down there, doing his part as a soldier on the battlefield. But orders from the Pan-Fleet Admiral were orders from the Pan-Fleet Admiral. There was no way he could have organised the defences of Marineford from the fray. So he was stuck here, in the false comfort of the command centre, watching the little dots that were his men, his responsibility, die.

If there was one thing keeping him sane right now, it was knowing that he'd done his duty, and couldn't have done it better. He'd faithfully relayed every order as it came in from Sengoku, efficiently directing the forces under his command. And though he was still annoyed with the admiral for putting stock in Roronoa's nonsense about Tashigi, his annoyance had gradually been replaced with a grudging respect for the man's ingenuity. As each of Sengoku's commands filtered through the Den Den Mushi, he'd been struck by the sheer military _sense_of it all. The Revolutionaries should have been defeated ten times over by now.

Only they weren't. Instead, every stroke of tactical genius had immediately been met with an equally efficient and even more ruthless counter-stroke. Monkey D Dragon might not have thirty years' sparring with Sengoku to draw on like Whitebeard had, but he apparently had wiles to spare, and plenty of aces up his sleeve, not least of which were his evidently well-trained men. Smoker wouldn't be surprised if some of those well-trained men were planted square in the ranks of the Marines as well, sabotaging machinery, sowing confusion, destroying morale.

It was working. At the resolution of the Den Den Mushi screens, the Revolutionaries were just a mass of grey ooze clashing with a mass of white, but they were ooze with momentum, pressing forward steadily, surely, probing for key weaknesses in the Marines' front line and breaking through where it could, closing around isolated pockets of white and shrinking them. The white mass was giving way a little too readily now, now that every single Marine down there knew how formidable an enemy they were up against. And in the backs of their minds, they were surely wondering the same thing Smoker was wondering. How could one man possibly be worth all of _this_?

For one small, determined band cutting through the fighters in the plaza like a scythe, the answer was clear. There was no need for guile, no apparent nod to strategy there, other than to just _move ahead_. They were no more than a tiny clump of colour on the battlefield, but Smoker knew. Up close or from afar, there was no mistaking the Strawhats' determination to retrieve a nakama.

No mistaking, either, the despair of the Marines crumpling under their single-minded onslaught. For when would their own commanders ever go to such lengths to rescue one of _them_?

* * *

_Oris Plaza, 14:22 _

"WHERE'S ZORO?"

"Luffy, calm down! He's here somewhere, of course they're not going to put him up on an execution platform for you to rescue, not like – " Nami trailed off, not wanting to remind her captain of his worst memory.

"He'll be down in their jail cells, under heavy guard," Robin reasoned calmly, even as the clenching of her crossed fists signalled the breaking of thirty Marine necks. "We have to get out of this plaza."

"Trust that shitty marimo to be late for his own rescue," Sanji huffed, lashing out at an unlucky captain who'd thought his Devil's Fruit ability would offer at least _some_defence against Red Leg technique.

"Hey, where did Mihawk go?" Chopper asked, looking around for his patient. "I told him not to over-exert himself!"

"Yohohoho! He's just as bad as Zoro-san! These swordsmen are all alike!" chortled Brook, seeming to forget the fact that he was currently wielding a sword to great effect himself.

"Let him go, Dracule Mihawk can take care of himself," Usopp said, amused at their doctor's indignation even in the midst of a frantic battle. "We've got bigger things to worry about!"

"Yeah, like, why are those doors closing?" Franky asked, pointing. They followed his finger, and saw the thick steel doors that divided the plaza, where the fighting was taking place, from the main buildings of Marineford, slowly heaving to cut them off.

"It doesn't make sense," Nami said. "Last time they did that, it was to trap the Whitebeard Pirates in the bay and then drown them by melting the ice. But this time, their own soldiers are going to be trapped in with us."

"Nevertheless, history does appear to be repeating itself," Robin said, looking skywards.

* * *

_Marineford Battle Command Centre, a minute earlier  
_

"You want me to do _what_?" Smoker snarled at the Den-Den Mushi.

"Your duty, Commodore Smoker, which is to carry out my orders," the voice on the other end of the line said acidly. "Close the plaza doors!"

"What possible military reason can there be for shutting those doors? And where's Sengoku?"

There was a brief pause, before Akainu said coolly, "The Fleet Admiral is currently indisposed. Close the doors, Commodore, I will not tell you a fourth time. If I do not see them closing in the next ten seconds, I'll bust all of you down to cabin-boys and rip out your spleens." The Den-Den Mushi returned to a snoozing state, leaving the threat hanging in the air.

Smoker unleashed a torrent of curses directed, rather unfairly, at the Den-Den Mushi, before turning to his men. "I'm countermanding the order," he informed them curtly. "On no account are you to close the doors."

Their jaws dropped to a man, and the ensign sitting at the engineering console jumped. "But, sir, it was a _direct_ order from Admiral _Akainu_!" he protested.

"That was a direct order to _me_. _This_ is a direct order to _you_ from _your_commanding officer," Smoker said. Then he recollected that guilty start the ensign had given, and he looked up at the screens. "Why the hell are those damn doors closing?"

"I thought...when Admiral Akainu said he'd rip out our spleens if we didn't obey..." The hapless ensign cowered, his eyes darting around frantically, as if he would rather be anywhere in the world, even a body on the battlefield below, than here facing Smoker's wrath. Which, he reflected sourly, could well be arranged.

"And what do you think _I'll_do to you for closing those doors without my permission?" he growled.

The ensign squeaked in horror.

"I don't care what that damn Sakazuki said! Open the doors!"

"B-b-b-b-but sir!" The ensign's registered a token protest through chattering teeth. Smoker decided he would have to work on appearing more intimidating, if Akainu was as menacing through a Den Den Mushi as he was in person.

"You're refusing to carry out my order?" he growled. The ensign looked ready to faint. "And how would _you_like to be one of the Marines who's going to be trapped down there?" Already he could see a wave of Marines hurling themselves against the doors, scrambling to get through before they closed.

"It's not that, sir! It's just that, the doors have to close fully before I can re-open them!" Smoker could have strangled him.

"Who among hell's minions designed such a shitty system?" he snarled. "How long?"

"Five minutes, sir!"

Smoker grit his teeth, almost decapitating his two cigars. He flung himself into a chair, drumming his fingers impatiently against the armrest. Nothing he could do, except to silently curse at the ensign, Akainu, at time itself. And to ponder just what Akainu intended with this new move. Was it just to give the Marines down there a kick in the butt, and use their increased desperation to reverse the flow of the battle? After all, a cornered cat fights the hardest.

If Smoker was confused about the new tactic, so was everyone else. Activity on the screens slowed as Revolutionaries and Marines alike paused to watch the closing of the doors, which seemed to herald a new phase in the combat. But what? It couldn't be a means to trap the Revolutionaries in the plaza after all, Smoker reasoned. Many of their own men were still in there, and any weapon that could target only the enemy would have to be very sophisticated indeed. He knew that Sentomaru was standing by with the Pacifista unit, but no orders had yet been issued to deploy them to their stations.

And then Smoker realised the flaw in his reasoning. He wrenched himself to his feet, and crossed over to the engineering console, where the ensign was scrunching himself as small as he could in his seat, and jumped to find his commanding officer right behind him.

"Get those doors open, now!"

"But the five minutes aren't up yet!"

"I don't care what you have to do to get them open, get them open!" The ensign began to hammer away at his controls, but still the doors slid inexorably to a close, the gap between them so small now that only one man could slip through at a time. The rest crushed up against the doors, practically stampeding in their haste to get out. A couple more seconds, and a dull boom rang throughout the battlefield, as the two sides finally met.

"Initiating the opening sequence, sir!" the ensign cried in relief.

Too late, Smoker realised.

_Too late, too late, damn Sakazuki, fuck absolute justice, what kind of justice calls for slaughtering your own men -_

"What's that?" One of the officers pointed innocently towards the uppermost screen, which showed the closest thing they had to an aerial view, from a Den Den Mushi perched on the highest cliff of Marineford. They'd finally noticed.

"Akainu's fists of lava," someone whispered, almost reverently. The same move that had caused so much damage to the Whitebeard Pirates in the last war of Marineford. But back then, the balls of magma had only been enough to melt the ice and consign the pirates to the freezing waters of the bay. Sakazuki hadn't been resting on his laurels in the intervening years. This time, they would annihilate all they landed on.

"All the Revolutionaries in the plaza will be wiped out!" someone said hopefully.

"_And our own men along with them_!" Smoker bellowed.

There was a brief silence, as the men gauged the trajectory and quantity of the great balls of fire, and realised that he was right. What was aimed at the Revolutionaries would engulf their own.

"Order the men to pull back as close as they can to the edge of the walls. You – get those bloody doors open! You – is there any way to open up the other gates, and let in the sea water?" Let the Devil's Fruit users among the combatants fend for themselves, Smoker thought furiously – it was the ordinary soldier he was concerned for, the thousands of regulars who were about to die on the altar of Absolute Justice. But as soon as he said it, he realised it wouldn't help. To flood the plaza with enough water to have any chance of neutralising the magma would take minutes.

The men in the plaza had only seconds.

Absolute justice, indeed.

* * *

_A concealed location in Marineford, 14:29  
_

"Incoming Den-Den Mushi call, sir."

The leader of the Revolutionary Army took the telephonic snail from the hands of his newest lieutenant, who stood listening while dusting his powdery hands off on his trousers. "Dragon," he said crisply.

The voice at the other end of the line spoke in a tone of controlled calm, but the hidden agitation showed on the Den-Den Mushi's expressive face. "Sir, they've closed the plaza doors, and above us..."

Dragon glanced up at the sky. "I see them. Stand your ground. Dragon out." He handed the Den Den Mushi back to the young man, who was gaping at him in incredulity.

"You just...you didn't..." he stammered, to his leader's amusement. He still had a lot to learn.

"Sakazuki is showing his hand early," Dragon observed, for the young man's benefit. "That's good news."

The hidden message of reassurance flew straight over the lad's head. "_Good news_? What about our soldiers? It's bad enough that the Marines are tossing their own men away like flies, without us following their lead!"

"Quiet, kid, or I'll start regretting that we ever liberated a certain prison camp in East Blue," a third voice rejoined. They were a study in opposites, these two: his newest lieutenant and his oldest, one still wet behind the ears, the other as grizzled as the bear's head that concealed his grey hair.

The younger man's abashed look lasted only a second. "But what're we going to _do_?" He wrung his hands, casting an appealing look at his two elders.

"_We_ are going to do nothing. We're too far away to do anything. _Think_, boy!"

"Nevertheless, we should draw nearer," Dragon intervened, seeing that the preparations had been completed. "Now's our time."

"But...but..."

"Don't just panic, boy, use your eyes!"

They all looked, in time to see a gigantic pair of hands blossom in the sky above the plaza.

"That's..."

"..._her_," Dragon agreed.

"But she'll be..."

The hands came together in a graceful cupping movement, just in time to catch the hailstorm of magma.

"...hurt!"

The faint echo of a scream reached them as the hands tipped their contents into the sea surrounding the plaza. Jets of steam sizzled skywards as the seawater heated to boiling point, obscuring their view of the plaza. But when it cleared, they were still there – his men, his enemies, and most importantly, his son.

"What did she do that for? She's probably...she might be hurt!"

"Our men are alive. Isn't that what you wanted, kid? Better one, than many."

"I don't believe that. I've never believed that," the young man said, his voice suddenly fierce. "It's too hard on those of us who remain behind."

"Idealistic young pup," his older counterpart complained. "I don't know why you insist on continually picking 'em out of the gutter, Dragon."

"Perhaps because we were once them."

"Once, a very long time ago. Well? Shall we get started on this plan of campaign?"

Dragon nodded. "It's time for us to dictate the terms of this battle," he decreed. "Let's go."

He strode out into the open, in the direction of Luffy, his two men jogging behind him, while around them, a shower of scorched rose petals drifted to earth, then vanished.

* * *

_Marineford Battle Command Centre, 14:32  
_

"What on earth," one officer asked, "was _that_?"

The Marines manning the command centre were still on their feet, gaping at the screen, wondering what they'd just seen.

"It looked like a giant pair of hands," someone ventured in disbelief.

"Maybe that was Sengoku the Buddha! It could've been a partial transformation!" one young ensign conjectured, excitement and relief written all over his face.

"Oh, you're right! I heard that Admiral Sengoku is huge when he transforms! And it would be just like him to sacrifice himself to save all our men!"

"No," Smoker intervened. "No, that wasn't Sengoku." They were too young to have fought in the last war, too young to have seen Sengoku's transformation, only heard about it from their older comrades. The colour was all wrong, for one, and those hands...those weren't the hands of an old man. And that scream...it had been the scream of a woman.

"No, _that_," Smoker concluded heavily, "was the _Demon_ of Ohara."

* * *

_Oris Plaza, 14:33  
_

"Robin! Robin, are you all right? Robin, answer me!"

"Robin-chwaaaaaaaaaan! That damn volcano bastard, I'm gonna kill him!"

"Robin's hands are burnt! Fetch a doctor! Oh wait, I'm the doctor!"

Robin's eyes fluttered open. "It's not so bad," she said softly. "Franky's fire-retardant gloves really helped."

"But you're still badly burnt, Robin!" Chopper said, frantically digging in his bag for salve and bandages. "I need to find a water source, you guys!"

"Robin-chan, hang on! I'll go fetch some water for you!"

"Vun moment." A huge, cloaked figure stopped Sanji in his tracks.

Sanji stared at the figure, taking in the purple hair and fishnet under the grey cloak. "What the hell? _Ivankov?_ What are _you_ doing here? And you brought _them_along with you!" He goggled at the hordes of okama behind the Queen of Kamabakka, some of whom were giving him little flirtatious waves.

"Ve are rendering you assistance, dear boy. Perhaps I may assist this gallant young lady..."

"No vay - I mean, no way! I know what your hormones can do, and I'm not gonna let you shorten Robin-chan's life! Chopper'll take care of her!"

"Sanji, the water!" Chopper reminded him frantically.

"Okay, okay! I'm going!" But he was stopped again, by yet another tall, cloaked figure.

"Who the hell are you, old man? Get out of my way!" Sanji protested.

The man ignored him, addressing himself instead to the girl kneeling beside Robin. "Your name is Nami, I believe? You should find the conditions perfect for a local rainstorm."

"Eh? Oh, I see!" Nami took out her Clima-Tact. "Rain Tempo!" she declared, and within seconds, a gentle rain had begun to fall over the entire plaza.

"Thanks, Nami!" Chopper said gratefully.

"Is Robin going to be okay, Chopper?" Luffy asked. Everyone looked up, startled at the tone of his voice. But his expression could not be seen, for he was standing a little further ahead of the rest of the group, hat pulled low over his eyes.

"I'll be fine, Luffy," Robin said. "First, don't you want to say hello to your father?"

"Ehhhhhhh? You're Luffy's DAD?" the others boggled at Dragon.

"Huh? Oh, hi, dad," Luffy said, sounding a little more like his usual self. But then he took two steps forward, took a deep breath, clenched his fists, and yelled out in a voice that none of them had ever heard, save in an old newsreel from years ago:

"AKAINUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" The battlecry shook the entire plaza.

"That's torn it," Nami said in chagrin. "Luffy, wait – we agreed to go together – you'll be a sitting duck!" she screamed after him, as Luffy took to his heels, racing through the staring Marines and Revolutionaries alike.

"You guys get Zoro!" was Luffy's receding response.

"Vell, that vas a charming family reunion," Ivankov commented. "I only hope it ends more happily than the last...oh, do not fret, child. Straw-boy vill not be targeted. Not vhile his father is present."

"I flatter myself that despite my son's best efforts, I am still the more wanted man," Dragon said modestly. "Come, Ivankov." Dragon threw back the hood of his cloak, and strode forward.

"Zis rain brings back peaceful memories," Ivankov commented, sniffing the air. "Our little friends vill be happy. It tastes sveet."

"It tastes of victory," Dragon agreed. He came to a stop a safe distance away from the remaining Strawhats. And though he had not yelled out a challenge as his son had, it was true what Ivankov had said. Apart from the Marines who stood directly in Luffy's path, all others had turned their attentions to Dragon. There was no ignoring the head of the Revolutionaries, the most wanted man in the world, as he stood in the middle of his army, the plaza echoing to cheers of his name.

* * *

_Marineford Battle Command Centre, 14:37  
_

"Is that really Dragon the Revolutionary?" one officer asked. They had zoomed in as far as the Den Den Mushi could focus. "He doesn't look anything like Vice-Admiral Garp." His voice sounded vaguely bemused, as if he was trying to imagine a Vice-Admiral with a tattoo across half his face.

"That's him all right," Smoker said grimly, recalling that stormy day in Loguetown, when Monkey D Luffy had slipped through his fingers. All of this could have been avoided, if it hadn't been for the man on the screen. He had to hand it to Dragon, though. He had some gall, parading himself like a giant target. Any moment now, Sengoku or Akainu would give the order. They wouldn't miss this chance.

Sure enough, the Den Den Mushi began transmitting in the voice Smoker had grown to loathe: "All units fire at will on..."

"AKAINUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

"Damn kid," Akainu grunted. "Hellspawn of that trait-"

The admiral's voice faded unexpectedly into a crackle, and the fierce expression on the Den Den Mushi's face was replaced with one of...if Smoker didn't know better, he'd have called it "ecstasy". The damn snail was _grinning_at him, its eyes half-closed in an attitude of sheer bliss.

"I don't think Admiral Akainu's on the other end of the line anymore, sir," one ensign said helpfully.

"No shit," Smoker said sarcastically. It was impossible to imagine _that_look belonging on Akainu's face. "Get one of the Video Den Den Mushi focused on the platform, I want to see what's going on."

But as he looked up, the screens began to fizzle with static. "The hell?"

"I can't repair the Video Den Den Mushi, sir. Something's wrong with them," one communications officer reported tersely after a few moments' puzzled fiddling. "And not just them – I was just trying to transmit the admiral's order to all units, but I couldn't get through. The Den Den Mushi are acting...really weird."

"Can we hail _anyone_?"

"No, sir. It's like they've gone on _strike_or something."

As if to underscore this diagnosis, the Den Den Mushi began gliding away from their posts and towards the door. Smoker followed them, perplexed by their erratic behaviour. Their emergence into the open only seemed to heighten their bliss. They were practically _frolicking_in the rain – or as close to frolicking as a mollusc could manage.

"It's this rain," Smoker said grimly. "It's doing something to them."

"But we've never had any trouble operating them in inclement weather, sir, only in the cold..." The communications officer stopped, and ran his tongue over his lips. "It's sweet," he realised. "Den Den Mushi love sugar. That's why they look so pleased!"

"They must have seeded the clouds with something. Like Dance Powder, only with some kind of sugar additive." Smoker shook his head, feeling suddenly weary. It was a master stroke. "He's just disrupted our entire communications network."

"Surely his own as well, sir," the officer argued back.

"He no longer needs it. He's right down there in the middle of the battlefield, directing operations for himself." As he himself should be doing, Smoker realised. Never mind the Den Den Mushi, he still had a bird's-eye view of the battlefield from up here. The ooze of Revolutionary grey had turned into a torrent, washing out the Marine white.

Smoker ran through a mental catalogue of what weapons they had left. Roronoa's arrival and the subsequent twin declarations of war had been so sudden they'd had to scramble to collect even what they had. First, the Admirals. Sengoku seemed to be out of commission, Akainu was engaging Strawhat, no one ever knew what was going through Kizaru's head. If Aokiji hadn't quarrelled with Akainu and left the Marines...it was too late to think about that now. The Vice-Admirals were all thick in the fray, with one significant exception. They hadn't had time to call in the remaining Shichibukai, which was just as well from Smoker's point of view. Boa Hancock would just side with Strawhat Luffy, and the rest were pieces of shit anyway. All their elite platoons were already deployed. That left just one weapon.

"Any way of getting word to the Pacifista division, short of hiking over there?" he asked.

"No, sir - hang on, I've just remembered!" The communications officer dashed back into the command centre, then came out again bearing a small piece of machinery. "This will work better out here, anyway."

"What is that?"

"It's something called a radio, sir. A brilliant invention of Dr Vegapunk's. The Pacifista Division are fully-equipped with them. This is just a prototype, but we should be able to get in touch with them. _These_aren't affected by the rain!" The officer twisted a few knobs, then spoke urgently into the mouthpiece. "I have Commander Sentomaru on the line, sir," he said presently.

"What is it, Smoker?" Vegapunk's former bodyguard barked into his ear. "I'm busy."

"Too busy to get your Pacifistas into action?"

"I'm way ahead of you grunts," Sentomaru said smugly. Smoker looked up and saw a ring of black-and-white-clad figures pop up on the plaza walls, clearly visible despite the distance due to their enormous size.

"I presume Monkey D Dragon is the target?"

"Can you hit him at that distance?"

"Dr Vegapunk has been hard at work improving the Pacifistas over the past few years. They could hit an ant at this distance," Sentomaru said proudly. "All PXes, the target is Monkey D Dragon!"

A series of muted voices reported that they had acquired the target.

"Ready your beams. On my command. Five. Four. Three. Two..."

Smoker shook his head. Too easy.

* * *

_Oris Plaza, two minutes earlier  
_

"Drrrrrrragon, look! There is poor, dear old Kuma! And another Kuma...and another Kuma..." Ivankov sighed. "I still cannot believe you allowed him to do such a foolish thing!"

"It was not my choice, Ivankov." Dragon's face had tightened the moment he'd seen his old comrade, now reduced to a shell - many shells - of the man he once was.

"You must get out of here," Ivankov said, seeing the Kumas fall into position. "It is as that girl put it. You are a sitting duck. I vill cover for you."

"I stay," Dragon said firmly. "It will be fine."

"Do not forget, Drrragon, that Kuma is no longer an ally! His brain, his personality, his vill have all been taken away from him. He even shot at _me_ the last time ve vere here! _Me_! Now go!" Already, the Kumas on the ramparts were dropping their jaws open, readying to fire.

"Then you are the one at risk, not I," Dragon said. "Go. All of you." He nodded at his lieutenants, who silently dispersed into the crowd.

"I suppose you have planned for this eventuality. You always do." Ivankov shook his head at his leader's stubbornness, obeying the order, but only just.

"All eventualities, save one," Dragon replied. Now in the centre of a small circle of space on the battlefield, he looked like a bull's-eye in the middle of a gigantic target. He spread out his arms, making himself an even more enticing mark. "Come, my friend," he muttered. "Shoot me."

* * *

_Platform outside the Marineford Battle Command Centre, 14:39  
_

"...One. _Fire_."

The Marines on the platform watched the cyborgs expectantly. After two seconds, they began to fidget.

"What's going on, Sentomaru?" Smoker bellowed into the radio.

"We appear to be having technical difficulties." The radio couldn't display the speaker's emotion the way a Den Den Mushi could, but it was obvious that Sentomaru was fighting to control his rage and confusion.

"Cannot target Monkey D Dragon," another voice - a Pacifista's voice, only it was all of them, in perfect sync - reported.

"Couldn't miss an ant at this distance, eh?" Smoker muttered.

"Shut up, Smoker! PX! Why can't you target him? He's right there in the centre of the battlefield!" Sentomaru exploded.

"Cannot target Monkey D Dragon," the Pacifistas insisted. "Nakama."

"_NAKAMA_? You're Marine property! You're a cyborg, not a person! Cyborgs don't have nakama! Get that into your miswired skull!"

"Cyborgs have no nakama." The Pacifistas processed this new piece of information calmly. "But Monkey D Dragon is nakama. Therefore, we are not cyborgs. But we are cyborgs. Therefore, we cannot exist."

"What the hell kind of logic is that?" Smoker interrupted.

"Logic that's about to cost us weapons worth trillions of beli! All PXes, listen to me, Monkey D Dragon is _not your nakama!_"

"But Dragon _is_ nakama. Dragon has always been nakama." The Pacifistas sounded more human by the minute, sounding less like cyborgs and more like the once-Shichibukai, Bartholomew Kuma. "_I_ _remember_."

"PXes, shut down immediately!" Sentomaru ordered frantically.

"My name is not PX-anything. My name is Bartholomew Kuma. But I am not supposed to remember my name. These memories have been wiped. But I am remembering," the Pacifistas continued doggedly. "I am not following orders correctly. Therefore, I must self-destruct. Goodbye, world."

And then they exploded in a salvo of inexorable logic.

* * *

_Oris Plaza, 14:41  
_

"What did I tell you, Ivankov?" Dragon asked, but there was no triumph in his voice as he gazed at the smoking shells that had harboured the last vestiges of his comrade's soul.

"But...how? He was supposed to have been turned into a robot!"

"Not a robot. A cyborg. A union of man and machine. And there are some parts of a man's will it is impossible to submerge."

"Vell!" Ivankov huffed. "It is a sad pity Kuma is no longer vith us, or I vould have a great deal to say to him about shooting at me during the last var." But under the faux indignation there was genuine sorrow in his voice, even after years of having to say goodbye to his comrades-in-arms.

Out of the mouths of babes, once more. The lad had been right. It _was_too hard on the ones who were left behind.

"Yes," Dragon murmured in reply. "A great pity." And one he was determined to spare his son.

One he wouldn't have had to spare him, he reminded himself, if he hadn't sent Roronoa Zoro his way in the first place. But he'd seen something in that young man, four years ago..._fourteen_years ago, that had told him he and his son would make a good team. The same quality that had led him into his present predicament.

"This is more than just a battle, isn't it?" Ivankov asked, giving his leader a strange look. He could be shrewd when he wished.

Dragon nodded an affirmative. "This is a rescue." But the fate of its target was the one eventuality he couldn't control.

* * *

_Marineford Battle Command Centre, 14:45  
_

"An order for you, sir. From Admiral Akainu." The messenger was panting as he made his salute. A trail of blood marked the side of his face and had leeched into his once-starchy white uniform. He'd have had to fight through the Revolutionaries to make it here, all for the one grubby scrap of paper he was holding out to Smoker.

So this was what all their fancy technology had come down to. None of their attempts to coerce the Den-Den Mushi into anything resembling a communicative state had worked. They'd been defeated by the simplest of weapons - a bit of sugar and the bonds of friendship. And now the Marines had nothing left to fight with except blood, sweat and tears.

"Is Akainu still alive, then?"

"He and Strawhat Luffy are duking it out on the platform, sir. But just before that started, he told me to pass this to you." The messenger held out the note once more.

Smoker took it without unfolding it. "Dismissed," he told the messenger, and the rest of the men who stood awaiting orders, uncertain of their role in the battle now that they were out of a job. "Go join the battle. Or go hide in headquarters. It's up to you." The men glanced at each other uncertainly, then saluted and marched away. He didn't bother to watch which way they went. He unfolded the note.

The next moment it was a crumpled ball in his fist. "Dammit." He stared out at the plaza for a moment, then groped for two fresh cigars. His fingers clutched empty air. "Tashigi!" he barked. "More..." And then he reminded himself, for the thirtieth time since the battle had begun, that she was consigned to quarters, and his spare stash with her.

He'd been wrong. The Marines did have one last secret weapon, one he'd never have dreamt of resorting to himself. And it was sitting in a jail cell in the opposite direction from the battlefield.

"I don't fucking have time for this," he snarled to himself.

For the first time in his professional career, Smoker began preparing to follow an order he didn't agree with.

* * *

_Oris Plaza, 14:45  
_

Sanji watched the self-destruction of the Pacifistas in a mixture of bewilderment and satisfaction. He'd no idea what had just happened, but there was no way that wasn't a good thing. It was impossible for him to look at those giant cyborgs without remembering Zoro pleading for Luffy's life and winding up drenched in his own blood for it. Or seeing Zoro zip into nothingness under that shitty cyborg's paw at Sabaõdy Archipelago. And once again at that shrine, knowing what fate Zoro was letting himself in for, knowing the sort of treatment that awaited him.

Who knew, maybe the Marines had already killed him, Sanji thought with a shudder. He wouldn't trust them as far as he could kick them. Maybe all this was a farce, designed to draw Luffy and his dad here...

He shook his head firmly. No, they'd already know if Zoro was dead. That damn Akainu would have rubbed the evidence of it in their faces, mocking them for their futile efforts to rescue their friend. But there was no telling what would happen the longer they delayed. "C'mon, let's get out of here," he said. "Luffy's taking care of the Admiral, and his father's taking care of the rest of the Marines. We'll go find that shitty marimo."

"Good idea, Sanji-kun," Nami-san said said. "Chopper, can Robin be moved now?"

"Yep," Chopper said. "All well. I'll still have to fix her up later, but..."

"I feel fine now, Chopper," Robin-chan assured their doctor, getting to her feet. "You did a great job."

"Shut up, idiot! I don't want your compliments!"

Sanji shook his head, grinning. He ought to be taking Chopper to task for calling Robin-chan names, but since he'd just fixed her hands, he'd give him a pass for now.

"Brook, Usopp, Franky! Ready to move?" he called. The four guys had stationed themselves around their nakama, guarding them against Marine attacks while Chopper and Nami-san treated Robin-chan.

"Yeah!" they whooped.

"Mind if I come along?" One of the grey-cloaked Revolutionaries popped up next to them. Sanji recognised him as one of the men who'd been standing behind Dragon during their short conversation. He'd particularly remembered this one because he'd been making eyes at Robin-chan.

"We don't need Revolutionary help," he snapped.

"Please. Zoro and me, we go way back," the man said.

"Way back?" Another one like Johnny and Yosaku, Sanji supposed. It was amazing how an uncouth boor like Zoro had managed to collect so many friends.

"Fine, I guess. You handy with that?" He nodded at the man's sword.

"I'm not Zoro's standard, but I'll do in a pinch."

"Good. Then c'mon, let's move out and find Zoro!" And when they found him, Sanji decided, he was going to murder him himself.

* * *

_Marineford Female Officers' Quarters, 14:47  
_

As Smoker headed towards the battlefield via a short detour, he found himself thinking about Garp, and what he would have done if he'd been in Smoker's position.

Garp wasn't here, of course. Scuttlebutt had it that the Vice-Admiral had been tactfully removed, screaming and kicking, to East Blue for the duration. He'd taken his two protégés with him. Smoker remembered the scrawny pink-haired kid who'd turned the tide in the last war. Just as well that he was out of this really. Just as well too that Tashigi had had no part to play in this battle.

This wasn't their place. This wasn't even their Navy. They'd signed on to be upstanding officers, not ones who found themselves upstaged in the field of honour by mere pirates. They'd volunteered to be the forces of Justice, not the pawns of an absolutist philosophy that brooked no opposition. They'd sworn to protect the people. How could they do that while failing to protect their own?

One day. One day the Marines would be different. These kids would take over, and they'd rebuild the Navy to serve their justice. And maybe then, when the Navy could stop lying to itself and the people and the world, Smoker would be able to hold his head high and say he was proud to be a Marine.

He rapped at the door at the only occupied room among the female officers' quarters. Tashigi opened it in a flash. He raised an eyebrow at her appearance. Her hair was dishevelled and there was a pinched, white look to her face. She looked as frazzled as he felt. Apparently inaction didn't become either of them. But she brightened when she saw him.

"S-s-smoker-san! What are you doing here? How is the battle going?"

"I'm out of cigars. How well can it be going?"

Tashigi knew her cue. She fumbled for her glasses and then for an extra pack of cigars. "Here you go, Smoker-san."

"Good. Now take this." He lit two fresh cigars while Tashigi uncrumpled the document.

"This is...a prisoner transfer, _now_? To..._them_?" She looked scandalised, as well she should be.

"For one Roronoa Zoro. You take care of it." Smoker turned and exited the room.

"But what am I supposed to do with this?" she called after him.

"Whatever you want. Whatever feels right. I'll take the responsibility. You're no longer confined to quarters, by my authority."

"Yes, sir! But what about you, Smoker-san?" Tashigi asked timidly. "What are you going to do now?"

"Me?" Smoker chomped down on his new cigars and began striding away. "I've got a battle to lose."

* * *

_Marineford Prison Wing, 14:47  
_

Far away from the battlefield, Temporary Warden Hannyabal wrung his hands perplexedly, while casting a suspicious look at the flamboyantly-dressed shichibukai in front of him. "I don't know," he bleated. "This all seems highly irregular."

Donquixote Doflamingo gave his boa a careless twirl. "Akainu'll send along a lackey with the order soon enough."

Hannyabal brightened. "Well, if all the proper paperwork is going to be filed, then that's all right. Come, I'll show you the prisoner." He beckoned his guest and entourage into the brightly-lit corridor, which only served to heighten the dismal dreariness of each heavily-barred cell. "All the other Level 6 prisoners were shipped back to Impel Down the moment war was declared," Hannyabal said regretfully, "but I understand there was some disagreement about what to do with this one."

"There isn't anymore. Akainu wants him beyond rescue."

"Of course, of course. Very sensible." Hannyabal nodded at the Marine squad standing guard in front of the cell and they moved away to allow Doflamingo a view.

"What have you been doing to him?" Doflamingo asked, eyeing the chained, slumped figure beyond the seastone bars.

"Whippings, sleep deprivation, the usual."

"Delicious." Doflamingo's mouth stretched into a wide grin.

"Unfortunately, he slipped into unconsciousness yesterday and we haven't been able to wake him up since. A tad unprofessional, that." Hannyabal sighed. "Ah well, he'll be docile enough while you transfer him."

"I'll need him cleaned up, for where he's going. And changed into something that actually resembles a shirt rather than rags. And...this is to go around his neck." He handed over the collar.

"I'll have that all done for you in a jiffy, sir," Hannyabal said with alacrity, bustling away and motioning for the Marines to follow him.

Doflamingo looked back at the hapless prisoner. "Time to pretty you up, my little moneymaker," he murmured. "The world's greatest swordsman is about to go on the auction block." He threw his head back and let loose a bout of maniacal laughter that echoed up and down the prison wing. "Fufufufufufufu! Fufufufufufu!"

Roronoa Zoro was too far gone to hear it.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

**A/N: **This is actually only half of what this chapter was supposed to contain, but it's already the longest in this entire series as far as I can remember, so I decided to split them (also so this chapter doesn't take like another year and half to appear). If you've been reading along and reviewing, thank you, your words of encouragement have really helped me get this monster of a chapter written.


End file.
